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My first mother's day

lintini's picture

Submitted by lintini on Mon, 05/15/2017 - 2:00am

Every year I assist getting DH a father's day gift from SS.

So this is my very first mother's day with my 9 month old DD.

DH didn't even get me a card.

I am so crushed. I feel like he doesn't appreciate me or respect me at all. His parents got me a gift and a lovely card, and my parent's sent a card.

I bet BM got a card from him for her first mother's day.

I know it's just a hallmark holiday....i don't need a card to tell me I'm a good mom.... but I'm so sad. I give my entire day and night to this little girl, every ounce of energy I have goes to her.

I told him how hurt I was, then he tried to spin it around on me. How tired he is and that I have no idea what's going on at his work. So....some hit and run fatal of a meth head is the reason you didn't feel like getting me a mother's day card.?!! How about you don't wait until actual mothers day to get a gift.

But guess what, he's not too tired to play golf on Tuesday. Who's picking up SS15 from school ? F no I'm not. No worries, super MIL will.

The only break I've ever had in the last 9 months from DD was a funeral. But DH does whatever he wants, has lots of time to himself. I've tested him before to see how long he'll hold her since he dissapears for 30 min bathroom breaks.... So I went into the bathroom and just sat on the throne. He came looking for me after 7 min.

My DH sucks. I don't know how SS15 survived as an infant alone with DH who was in his mid 20s. And I'm serious.... it's a wonder he's even alive. My DH sucks so much.

Thanks for letting me vent. First world problems. Shitty husband.

Comments

Monchichi's picture

Submitted by Monchichi on Mon, 05/15/2017 - 2:38am

I'm sorry your first mothers day was so easily over looked by your husband. I often wonder how my SS and his half brother survived a year living with my husband and then I remember MIL + child minder.

lintini's picture

Submitted by lintini on Mon, 05/15/2017 - 2:59am

Thanks Mon. It's just the cherry on top to our relationship problems.

You are so right, the magic answer is MIL!

Monchichi's picture

Submitted by Monchichi on Mon, 05/15/2017 - 6:00am

I trust you intend to return the compliment on fathers day by doing absolutely nothing? My husband doesn't have a job right now but he found a way to celebrate mothers day with the girls for me on Sunday. If they want to they can (hugs)

Acratopotes's picture

Submitted by Acratopotes on Mon, 05/15/2017 - 6:18am

DH clearly showed you how he feels about Mothers Day, thus last year was the last time you helped SS getting DH something for fathers day, it was also the last year that you reminded SS it's fathers day.....

and seeing your baby is still to young to draw something or make something for Daddy I guess it's going to be a while before he gets anything from her for Father's day...

If DH feels sad about it, smile and say... but Hon you decided it will be this way with Mothers Day... I'm just following your example Wink

SourGrapes's picture

Submitted by SourGrapes on Mon, 05/15/2017 - 9:11am

Oh, honey! I am so terribly sorry that DH didn't think it was important to celebrate this holiday for you. Even if it is a "Hallmark Holiday" it has come to mean a lot to most women. Last year my SO didn't even say "Happy Mother's Day" to me and I was crushed! We don't have a child together, but I have a bio daughter and I treat SD7 as though she's my own, so I thought I deserved at least the sentiment, if not a gift. I spoke up. I was mad and hurt and I told him so. I am not vindictive so I bought him Father's Day gifts and made sure the kids gave him cards, etc.

This year he got me a $100 gift certificate for a spa day and a jacket. Total turn around. I think the key is that I spoke up for myself and he realized he had messed up. This year, he let me sleep in and had wrapped gifts waiting for me when I woke up.

Men can be so dense. Speak up for yourself and tell DH that you're not gong to be ignored when something is important to you. If he's worth his salt, he'll get his act together.

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Mon, 05/15/2017 - 9:35am

Giving me flashbacks. the FIRST year Chef and I were together, he forgot my birthday; but sure as hell could remember SD's bday which is three days earlier than mine. Oh the red flags I ignored. But it's all water under the bridge now.

lintini's picture

Submitted by lintini on Sun, 05/21/2017 - 3:13pm

I'm really upset still. He did bring me flowers and a card the next morning. It didn't fix the problem though. My bday is in a couple of days, on a work day. I expect no card again for that. This just cements in the fact that I don't think he really cares about me.

I'm not sure how bad I'll let this get before I want out.

Thanks for all of the replies. I'm so hurt still. I do everything around here and I guess he just doesn't care.