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Trigger Words

Lillywy00's picture

I've started to cringe internally when I hear certain 'trigger words'

  • Those kids are coming over
  • (Insert skids name here) wants to stay longer
  • I'm going have their mom drop them off with you (yeah I'm still at work)
  • (Insert skids name here) doesn't have shampoo, soap, socks, charger, etc ... do you have it to give them?
  • Your mom coming over? Cool. I'm going to ask her if she can pick my kids up from school.
  • Why dont you invite my kids with you anytime you leave this house?
  • You hurt my kids feelings
  • You don't like my kids
  • We can hang out. I'll leave those kids at the house.
  • You want to know my custody schedule so you can have some peace and order? Well "I don't know"
  • "I feel like I'm being punished for being a 'good dad'" .... says the guilt riddled Disneyland dad who coddles his kids and has no boundaries 


JRI's picture

"BM has a (headache/leporsy/whatever), so I'm picking up the kids."

"BM called and _____" (more money).

Lillywy00's picture

God I hate hear about how the ex wife is allegedly sick, not feeling good (aka she's tired of dealing with her kids and wants them picked early/dropped off later to benefit her)

"I'm trying to help my ex wife / give her a break so those kids are coming over early"

and the money issue (Gag me!)

"BM called, she can't take the kids anywhere in the car I helped her buy (plus made several payments on), not only was I stupid enough to pay her car that was supposed to be transportation for those kids but now I also have to take those kids everywhere because she won't do it"

(every other day) "...oh that was those kids mother...she was asking for money for (fill in frivolous stuff here)"

Rags's picture

Being the CP household and there being a long distance visitation schedule minimizes this kind of drama.  Little to no need to interface with the blended family opposition, only the post visitation Skid drama to deal with.

I can fully appreciate how cringe inducing this is for those who have to suffer through it.

Take care of you.

Lillywy00's picture

I figured being long distance might help with this sloppy ass parenting schedule this Disneyland dad has.

But I don't want to wait and find out if he wilL change or not

And I'm not so sure I would want to deal with his lackadaisical overly permissive parenting style and constant demands to do stuff for/with his kids while he sits back and does nothing but takes all the credit

Harry's picture

Just Say No.   if DH wants to do it it's on him.  No taxi driver.  No takeing care of his kids,  His kids are there to see him, not you.  He either takes care of them. First asking you, if it's ok, and he does everything.

You plan thing to do on weekends, So No kids, adults only     If you continue to help BM out of holds  it will be a life long thing, you. She gets X amount of money and that's it. 


Lillywy00's picture

I started saying no once I realized how needy these people pretend to be (they're just looking for a doormat / sucker to come take care of their kids for free) 

After dude and his ex wife hassled me to host their kids while I had COVID (so it was easier on him and would give her a break) I shut all of it down and refused to be the free nanny nor let my house be the free respite care. 

My phone goes straight to voicemail on Fridays or any day I can sense he's going to try to guilt me into helping with with his kids

Ftk and f*ck their bio parent too!

missgingersnap2021's picture

Its not a trigger word but the sound of her text tone when SD texts DH is what I can't stand. 

Lillywy00's picture


At least your DH doesn't put them on speakerphone at ungodly hours multiple times a day. 

It's at the point now I don't even want to hear their mini-spouse voices on speaker on non-parenting time days. 

missgingersnap2021's picture

I know how you feel!!! A couple weeks ago DH and I went to dinner at a place that is in the center of our downtown. We started with drinks at a wine bar and then were driving to a restaurant futher down the road and we had literally just gotten in the car when I heard SD's text tone. I immediatly said "Well SD is obviously downtown and just saw us". (And not in a happy peppy tone). Sure as shit the mili-second she saw us she had to text DH. I know its no big deal in the big picute but seeing him text her back and forth in the midlde of our evening just annoyed the hell out of me! Especailly when he felt the need to tell her every detail of where we had been and where we were going! 

Lillywy00's picture

Omg i hate that ish!

Tell those step kids play by play of what we're doing - which if those kids have it on speaker - now their meddling ass bio mom can leverage that info for nefarious purposes  


Look Skid! It's none of your business what we're doing.  We're OUT, no you can not put in purchase requests to buy you something, you will be picked up next Friday, and that's all you need to know. 

Shieldmaiden's picture

I hear that song by Fergie in my head, only instead of the lyrics being:

My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump
My lovely lady lumps (lump)
My lovely lady lumps my lovely lady lumps (lump)
In the back and in the front
(Lump) My loving got you

Instead I hear:

My kids, my kids, my lovely kids

Why don't you like my lovely kids

My kids, my kids, my special kids,

Its all your fault they aren't up to snuff,

Can't you try harder to love my spawn?

Okay, now you guys write the next verse. LOL. 


Patience2000's picture

They're not just here to see could take them more places you know....or....they're here to see their !/2 sibs too you know (and don't ever call them that!).