Kids have a separate bathroom so NO, thank god! And gross for her to use your loofa. All three of my girls have their own loofas. I would take mine with me to my room if she can't stop using yours.

Yeah that little biznitch is trying to claim her territory for sure or rather make you a target and take over your territory!!! Nip that shit in the bud! Right quick!

And instead of her having bar soap why don't you buy her a bottle of body wash...less icky & sticky..there ONE problem solved!

Yep she's doing it to get under your skin, and she's in a turf war. If your DH is understanding you might be able to convince him. I know my SO would never think his kid deliberately did things to irritate me. He would say I was overreacting.

Yes. I can relate. SS13 recently began placing his things on my desk and /or sitting down to work there - um no! He's got a desk in his room and my desk is just that - MY DESK - I run the house and am in sales and don't need the kids messing with my things. I will let the kids use the computer there when they ask, and only one kid is allowed at a time.

but I don't have any problems speaking up and immediately told him, "I think I've asked you before not to use my desk, you have one in your room".

Ugh, I totally feel for you! I am VERY territoral about MY space/things. Always have been, always will be. DH is so NOT. He thinks that everything in the house is basically free reign for whomever happens to be living there.

The first time SD (then 14) moved in with us last year, DH and I had a knock down drag out about him just letting her use/borrow/ruin my things without even asking me. He said I was being a petty bitch and that if SD was my own child I woudln't be acting like that. blah frickety blah.

Well, this time when SD (now 15) moved in a few weeks ago, I laid it out for BOTH of them... DO NOT TOUCH MY SHIT WITHOUT ASKING ME FIRST!! They still fucking do it! what pisses me off even more is that I hide my shit and DH will go searching for it! Like I hide all of my feminine products as well as all of my makeup and hair products because I know SD is a thief. I have a couple of different hiding spots in BS3 room. Well, one night I go upstairs before bed and there is a tampon applicator on the freaking floor and it is not that time of the month for me,not to mention that I would never leave such a thing on the freaking floor! I was pissed and told DH that I was not about to touch it and why the hell was SD is MY bathroom anyway, when she has a bathroom downstairs?? He said that she (conveniently) came to him AFTER I had left for work and asked if I had any feminine products... so that bastard went searching around and actually found my stash in BS3 room and then has the nerve to just leave the whole box in the bathroom for her to pilfer from whenever she chooses and leave her nasty shit on MY floor? HELL NO! Does anyone listen to me?? I now have a new hiding space.. but damnit I'm running out!

I don't know how you do it, I would NEVER be able to live in a house where I had to share a bathroom with skids.... NEVER! I'm sorry, but I feel like EVERYONE needs their OWN space.. I mean I don't go in SDs bathroom and rummage through her shit and I don't go in her bedroom and plop on her bed and watch TV.. I mean what is so difficult about everyone respecting everyone else's stuff/space

Ugh.. sorry for going off on a tangent.. but this topic really chaps by butt!

DH's just dont understand a woman's territory. yes we knew what we were getting into by being with a man with kids blah blah blah. yes i opened my home and heart to include them, yadda yadda yadda. i did NOT volunteer my personal care items or my personal space!

my dh doesnt get it. dont freaking use my towel! "whats the big deal? it's just a towel". i dont want skids using on their faces something i just dried my coochie off with!!! and i dont want to dry my face off with something they have dried their balls off with!!!!!!!!!! YUCK!!!! :sick:

personal is personal. dont use my towel, my loofah, my razor, my brush. i have happily paid out of my own pocket for you (x3) to have your own damn towels, loofahs, razors, brushes, etc..... personal care items are not community property! *sigh*

dh will never get it. "does not compute". so i take my shit in my bedroom while they're here. if he ever asks me why, i'll be more than happy to explain "as your wife i have asked you to handle this, and you have chosen not do. u do not agree with my feelings on the matter, which is fine, but it disrespects me as your wife. so since you have not handled this, i have simply removed the source of my issue. if u dont like it, tuff, u've had plenty of opportunities to handle this."

love 'em dearly, tho', and if this is one of the worst of my problems in steplife, then i've got it made

A couple of years back when we only had one bathroom we could use in the house at the time, I purchased a little caddy with a handle. It was the type that a lot of people will use to put their cleaning supplies in to carry throughout the house. I put my shower supplies in there and just carried it to the bathroom when needed and took it back out when finished.
This was around the time when the youngest adult Skid and his GF were living with us and they took up every usuable space in the bathroom. Things were such a mess when they were there. WTH, it wasn't my fault that their toothbrushes would fall off the edge of the counter, or their hair brush would end up with liquid soap all over them or their shampoo would get knocked over and spill out because they didn't seem to know how to close the bottle. If they couldn't keep the itmes out of my way as I went about my normal business, stuff like that just happens you know?

sd was always using my things and taking them over like they were her own. she would dig thru our bathroom cupboard to see what i had that was unopened and one time she used me expensive brand new shampoo and conditioner that i had not even used yet, instead of what was in the shower. then she went around asking everyone if her hair was shiny. shit like that all the time. she would even use my razor! :O i bet if the bitch knew what i shave with that, she wouldn't have been so quick to help herself. always always always into MY stuff. couldn't use what was for everyone, couldn't use something of her own, it always had to be MINE. i got to the point where my stuff stayed in my room and only went in the bathroom with me.

Oh she is my SD is training.

My SD found herself with out a bedroom because she shared a bedroom with my daughter and treated her like shit so I told DH down to the reco room with her.

My recroom is 32x32 finished with a fireplace and a pool table, it is also my DH office.

She has cleaned out half the medicine cabinet in the joint "house" bathroom and claimed it as her own, she has moved furniture out of the reco room and different furniture in, she has removed items that I still dont know where they are. Brand new coffee table ruined by nail polish.

I said something to DH about some stuff that is missing and he told me he is going to make sure it is all accounted for before she leaves. And guess what that means?

He acknowledges our agreement and he will be giving the "fair" warning in June that she has 1 year. Guess he has finally taken my seriously.
So Ill bite my tongue for now...

I think girls can just be very presumptuous, and they want the best stuff so they push the boundaries as far as you let them. And you don't want to come across as mean or petty (evil stepmonster) so often they get away with it for longer than you would allow with your own, so all the tension and resentment gets magnified.

With stuff like feminine hygiene products I think that should be part of the grocery shopping and is an absolutely basic that should be provided for girls. Similarly there should be family shampoo and conditioner etc. Anything else is hands off. Using someone elses nice shower and bath products or makeup without asking is rude and cheeky. When SD14 moved in she swiftly began to appropriate my favourite most fluffy towel as her own. She would just take it off the towel rail and wear it when she went to her room, which is icky anyway as who would want to use someone else's towel. In the end I knocked on the door and said 'Sd have you got my towel in there' knowing full well that she did because she had just had a bath and it was missing. 'Oh I don't know I'll just check' she said disingenuously, despite the fact that she had taken it from the bathroom 5 minutes before. It felt ridiculous to have to tell a 14 year old to stop using my towel and be all tense about it, whereas if that was my daughter it would be a short sharp 'Stop using my towel!' and no hard feelings. Another time SD used an entire tub of expensive shower scrub, them pretended she had been confused and thought it was hers. After I had comforted her a few times, politely but meaningfully, she stopped the pilfering because she knew I was going to say something. And as I pointed out to her, I wouldn't have dreamed of using her bubble bath or shampoo without asking.

I would die if I had to share a bathroom with the kids!!