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No way are we putting $700 towards this...

lieutenant_dad's picture

BM forwarded an email from OSS's school to DH (why DH didn't get the email directly from the school is a mystery, but I digress). OSS is part of an early college program, and the email was mostly year-end wrap-up stuff: information about scheduling, minor changes to the program, spring fundraiser, etc. All this is information BM could share at the next exchange, so I'm all confused as to why DH gets this email.

Then I see it, right there at the bottom of the page.

There is a two-week early college program that would give OSS college credits for $700.

There was no additional information from BM in the email. No indication that this is why she sent it. However, given that she has NEVER forwarded an email regarding a fundraiser or OSS signing up for classes or anything else that is fairly "standard public school" stuff, the only conclusion I can come to is that she forwarded it SPECIFICALLY for the $700 college credit bit.

A few things to note:

1.) OSS is already in an early college program. He is already earning college credit BEFORE he graduates. It will take at least a year off his time in university. He doesn't need more credits, especially if it's just random credits (which it sounds like it is).

2.) OSS will have most to all of his tuition paid for because DH is a disabled veteran and it's one of the few perks Anti-Canada provides to disabled veterans if their kids go to a state university. Guess where OSS is going (or, I should say, applying with an over 4.0 GPA and it's not that competitive of a school but has the program he wants)? That's right - a state college.

3.) FIL JUST paid over $2,000 to send OSS out of the country this summer for school trip as part of one of his areas of study. While I disagree with FIL, it's his money to do with as he pleases. I am only giving OSS what I had planned to give him for the trip via birthday money, and DH paid for his passport. DH and I will end up paying for any clothes, shoes, etc that he'll need for the trip. This is going to be expensive, but OSS earns at least some of this (again, I don't fully agree with how this was funded) by getting good grades, participating in advanced band, doing mission work through church, etc. 

4.) BM currently isn't working (or at least she wasn't). She has no way of paying for any of this.

5.) We have stuff at the house we need to buy - a fence for Houdini Dog, a dishwasher that actually washes dishes, etc. Plus, we need to pay off the new washer and dryer we just bought because the old ones bit the dust. WE NEED the money.

I am putting my foot down now and saying "no". This is non-negotiable. OSS already has the OOC trip that is school-sponsored, plus a summer class that he has to take for his EC program and fundraising to help with the church youth group mission trip. They get maybe 8 weeks off for summer. He doesn't need anything else to do - and I want to keep $700 for MY HOUSE.

So I guess we'll see how this conversation goes at exchange. I'm annoyed that BM just felt like forwarding it meant anything, but I am not surprised. Hopefully OSS realizes just how lucky he is as it is and doesn't get too disappointed. My guess is it won't be OSS who is upset.

Comments

Cooooookies's picture

If he's already earning early college credits and doesn't need anymore, then conversation over.  No and done.  No reason to get more when he'll have them already.  Just keep the reply sweet and to the point.  "BM, as OSS is already enrolled to earn early college credits, we won't be enrolling him in this.  He will already have the credits he needs."

As you say though, I'm sure it's not OSS who will be upset.  Plus it makes me very suspicious.  Since BM never shares any communication, funny how she shares this one.  Asking for money....is it legit?  I wouldn't trust the email... or BM!

lieutenant_dad's picture

Exchange is tonight, so I'm going to see if it gets brought up. DH immediately thought him doing this was a great idea until I pointed out the above. I am reminded him that YSS has nothing planned for this summer, so it would be nice to do something with/for him since OSS has so much going on. Nothing crazy - maybe a weekend trip to a nearby tourist city while OSS is OOC.

Thank God DH listens sometimes. I was ready to duke this one out. But we'll see if it even gets brought up this weekend. I don't care if he does. It just won't be paid for out of my household coffers.

Teas83's picture

That's passive aggressive. Since she didn't actually ask your husband to pay for it or say anything about the letter, I'd just ignore it. And even if she had asked about it, I wouldn't pay for it anyway. These useless BMs who don't work or contribute financially to their children's upbringing can get jobs if they want to have this kind of thing paid for.

pixielady's picture

I would advise your DH to just ignore it and if it’s brought up at the exchange just to say that isn’t possible right now. It sounds like your SSs is already very lucky due to FIL, benefits and getting college credits already.