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Just need to know im not the worst person ever

leslie814's picture

I know being annoyed by the skids is a common theme we all have but I have been unable to bite my tongue lately. I don't think it is fair that this 5 year old knows I think she is absolutely horrible.

She has decided that it is "super cute and funny" to be well a moron. She asks the same questions over and over says "i doonntt knooow" hehe to questions that she does. The worst part is that she seems confused when I don't pawn all over her about being soo adorable when she does this. I can't help it I just can't take it anymore its not cute.

This morning it was obvious to her after pulling the I dont know I mean yes I do hehe. DH tried making excuses for her later I said no it's not cute and I know you find it annoying so how do you think me who does not love her or think shes a glittering snowflake supposed to feel?

Comments

bluehighlighter's picture

I know this scenario all too well. UGH SS8 has never had anyone that didn't think he was absolutely adorable and charming all the time. He wasn't used to not amusing all adults with his charms and being told 'that's enough" SO even said "he's just not used to that" meaning used to adults being irritated by him.

Apparently the child psychologist said it's fine to address the behavior like you would if the kid were your own kid. Address the behavior and not the "whys" behind it. Also after say something like "what i'd like to see happen now is (xyz)"

That sucks and is super annoying that you might be the first taste of reality outside of being worshiped for this child.

Good luck Sad

leslie814's picture

Thanks for the advice. You are right it doesn't matter "Why". When you call her on it or her newest thing which is lying to get out of things she sometimes cries hysterically- I'm talking was she stabbed crazy for sympathy. But we do still try to be consistnt.

She is learning that I do not feel the way everyone else does about her through these actions so maybe its a start toward realizing the world doesn't either.

andrew_street's picture

its SOOO annoying. My SD10 is only recently starting to out grow that crap, but I feel ya. I would have higher expectations of my own kids than that.

twoviewpoints's picture

Well, no, not the worst person ever...it is annoying to be expected to fawn over a child who is use to having everyone around here totally adore her and melt and/or laugh at 'oh how cute and clever' child is.

That said however, no need to over-react or go nuts over something as a child's childishly silly attempt to be 'special'. I think I might go with a more direct approach when she does this rather than let too much annoyance built. As you said, it's not really fair to a five year old to let them clearly know how much they are thought to 'absolutely horrid' by DH's wife.

A simple "SD I'm not playing the 'I don't know' game with you, you're way to big to pretend you don't know something when we know you do. You don't do that at school when the teacher says something to you", or "That's not funny and I'm not going to ask you questions and talk until you stop playing, I'd like an actual answer please'.

The 'I don't know (giggle giggle)' is a stage and she's thinks it's funny and fun. it'll pass. In the meantime merely let her know you're not playing the game with her.

leslie814's picture

Thank you. I don't have any kids of my own and was an only child so I really appreciate when you more veterned SM's and Moms can help me with the language. I really think her ass is just kissed wherever she goes so it can be difficult but I have some good times with them so I'm not ready to disengage yet.

Failing Optimist's picture

My ss 11 if in trouble in school or whatever will say "I don't know" eugh

leslie814's picture

Ugh horrible I often wonder how they act at school. She brags about telling on other kids to try and get them in trouble she's getting bullied about it and she still doesn't care. Its all about that "feeling special" moment I guess I don't get it.

tabby yabba do's picture

Everyone is right, it's probably a stage. My SD8 has been in this stage the whole 2 years I've known her but it is less frequent now. Although just as annoying, if not more so.

When my SD8 does it now, my return comment is always something along the line of "How old are you, 3?" Since SD8 wants to be treated like a big girl, my question usually offends her enough she snaps out if it.

Not the Brady Bunch's picture

I don't really know if it is a stage or not because there are adult SD's that still behave this way. With my skid, she was about 7 1/2 when we connected and really was adorable to look at, but super annoying and bratty as hell. She really was daddy's pweshus glittering snowflake. The way he looked at her with glowing adoration made me gag -- this was NOT about jealousy. She was her mother's demon spawn.

Eventually when all hell broke loose and the SHTF, well, therapy ensued inside and outside of our home. I didn't' want it but it turned out great.

At this stage, she was no longer cute to look at and her actions were better suited to a toddler. Very carefully I phrased my words in front of a therapist something to the affect that what she does/is is no longer cute. SO not pleased, but it worked in the end.

tabby yabba do's picture

Omg you're probably right. My DH MARVELS at SD8 when she acts like a twit. There are times he will smile like a crazy man so much so that I actually have to point it out to him "Why are you marveling at this childish behavior?" And I'm not jealous either, I find it embarrassing (for SD) and emasculating (DH).

God I love step parenting. Sad

Not the Brady Bunch's picture

Let's steal the skids thunder. Men seem to like baby talk, and baby talk always made me gag. But, hey, if it works? Why Not? Next time your skid is baby talking…do it too. Like, "Oh, DH (long and drawn out). When are you gonna spank me and give me that diamond ring I want? Please, please, please." I don't know. Could probably come up with something better.

tabby yabba do's picture

Hahahahahahahahahaha

"Mommmmyyy was a baaaaad girl today, can ddddaaaaddyyyy help her with her dirty whittle mouth?"

Not the Brady Bunch's picture

OMG! Now THAT's a good one! I think we are getting the hang of this "oooh baby" talk.