I guess I'm not the only one with this issue
I'm a member of another message board, not blended family related at all, and I saw a thread this morning where a mom was asking how to get her 6 year old to bundle up in the winter time. I gather she lives in an area that gets a real winter. It seems the child did not want to wear their winter coat and hat and such when going to school. I laughed because I posted a thread here awhile back commenting on the same issue I have with SD5.
So many people on that thread were telling her "oh, it's no big deal, let natural consequences take over, if she is cold because she went to school without a coat she will learn to put her coat on." Only a few people said she is 6, parent your kid and make her put it on. I pointed out that if your kid won't listen to you about wearing her winter coat in January at 6 years old what makes you think she will listen to you at 16 when you don't want her to wear bootie shorts and a tube top out. Some one actually said they didn't see the connection between allowing a 6 year old to dress herself for winter and a allowing a 16 year old dress herself for a date.
I laughed so hard I nearly cried at that one.