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What my divorce taught me

Lalena75's picture

I won't take abuse from anyone, not physical, not mental, not emotional and sure as heck not verbal.
SO got an earful after everyone is in bed. A decoration fell off a shelf and bonked his dd on the head, did it hurt yeah I'm betting it did (left a red mark on her head). However she does her typical pout and whimper with volume level of whine increasing based on the response daddy gives.
Him from across the room: "are you okay?"
Her: *sniff, sniff, moan*
Him not getting off his laptop: "are you alright?"
Her: *fake whimper, sniff, snifffff, start to cry volume increasing* with her head bowed as low to her chest as she can get it.
Him still on the couch her getting louder: "sissy are you hurt?"
Me: "not till you get up and give her the attention she's after"
Him: "Shut the fuck up I wasn't fucking talking to you!"
Him now yelling: "ARE YOU OKAY!"
Her: "I said no!"
He never got up, he didn't go look or coddle her, she has a red mark I'm sure it scared her more than anything but she wasn't gonna stop the loud volume tragic whimper, sniff she does till someone gave her attention, but because he got mad she responded that she wasn't okay he still didn't get up and as soon as she had actually verbally responded to him (after he screamed at me) she was right back to coloring like nothing happened.
So after everyone was in bed, I told him: "You didn't get up to check if she was okay, she wasn't going to stop whimpering or respond till she got attention I wasn't expressing it didn't hurt her, I was expressing her drama was going to increase till you looked at her to see if she was actually hurt, instead you got mad and yelled and cursed at me in front of both your kids, and my son, she responded she wasn't okay and you still didn't look but by then she knew she wasn't getting fawned over, or even checked to see if she was hurt. If you ever scream at me, curse me out in front of an of the kids again, ever this is the 3rd time you've done this and I ignored it, do it again and it will be your very last moment under my roof, clear?"
He whatevered me, "Whatever will also find you homeless. I won't be disrespected by you, my kids, your kids or anyone else and not take action."
He should of at least had her get up and come to him so he could look at her, but her quick to get over it once he yelled tells me she was ramping it up for effect even though she does have a red mark she's a chronic whimper queen for attention so it requires a little tough response to get her to stop long enough to find out if there really is an injury (usually it's just she got told no and he puts her in time out when she drama queen pouts over "no")

Comments

sonja's picture

Wow way to take charge of that situation. I surely would hope that all women on here are strong enough to tell men they will not be treated like that. All the more reason Im glad the house is in my name and that I always have a vehicle to my own. I dont want to be in the situation where I dont have my own way to take charge of situations that could go sour, you just never know.
Just sucks when the DHs are the a**holes. at least when its the skids you are still the adult. Adults need to like adults, and he was acting like a skid!

oldone's picture

Good for you. I posted earlier about my friend who left her DH after one instance of physical violence and he's still wondering why 20 years later.

Lalena75's picture

it was a Styrofoam skull he's our mascot wears different hats for different seasons. But it's fairly large, and probably scared the heck out of her cause it seriously just fell for no reason from about 2 feet above her. her whimpering was going from *that scared me* to crying that was like *ambulance siren outside* it's like until she gets some kind of response she's wanting the volume control is turned up exponentially.
But his response reminded me too much of my dad and my ex, ignore then explode. freaks me out which made me go fight or flight mode.
she's fine today no mark or anything.
He apologized to us both and talked to her about appropriate responses to injury, or accidents that he sees her as "the girl who cried wolf" (which is pretty accurate) so he doesn't always know if she's hurt or attention seeking.
I just got a "sorry I yelled last night"