Actually considering divorce - help!
I can't beleive I actually typed it out...the couple beers probably helped...
DH and I have been struggling lately, for about 10 months I'd guess.
DH is not a bad person, but I've been feeling that he just does not treat me the way I deserve to be treated. I feel like I do so much for him and yet he just asks for more, and more, and more.
Our main issue is our sex life, DH has an insanely high sex drive and I have a average/above average drive. This is honestly our only fight that continusouly comes up. About a month ago during a talk I asked him what he felt was a reasonable # of times per week for sex that he could handle, and he said 5. I told him I could do that, my drive isn't needing 5x a week, but I could give that because I know it's less than what he really wants. But the 2 days a week I say no, he's crabby and cranky towards me that evening, then the next morning asks for sex as soon as we wake up. Even if our toddlers are awake! If I say no because our toddlers are awake, I have to deal with the cranky moodiness for even longer, until he either snaps out of it, or he gets sex.
Not only that, but it's the content. DH was married to a very "vanilla" in the bedroom woman for 20 years before me, and I think that has contributed to him wanting to do a bit more wild/crazy things. I'm okay with spicing things up, but I've honestly starting to feel like he doesn't want to have sex with just me, he wants to have sex with some wild fantasy he's come up with in his head that he wants me to talk to him about, while he actually has sex with me. When I've brought this up as bothering me before he always says "but the fantasies are always about you", and yes while they are, it's always in some context of something I"m not or wouldn't actually do! So how is that really me?!?!
There's so much more, I just don't know how to spill it out....I'm so lost.
DH is on a trip right now for a week with his family (I actually encrougaed it). I wanted to use this time of him away to see what single parenting would be like...what married woman actually does that....looks forward to her husband being away because she wants to test out the waters of divorce?
I don't know that anyone can really help me with this, I just don't have anyone to talk to and it just feels good to get it off my chest.