I am new to this site, this makes me want to cry. I have no advice ( I am lost in my world of skids and husband)
So (hugs) to you.

Get the book "Stepmonster" and read thoroughly, STAT! I've been in this for 10 years now. All three of Guilty Daddy's children (all under 18--CS continues till 21 in this state) have PASed out. It's been four years since the youngest (SS stb 11) has PASed out. The others, SS stb 17 and SD stb 15 have been PASed out for six and five years respectively. Not hide nor hair. No X-mas, nothing. The BM and her entire family pounded the poison into the three for six years straight (and still do but now, I imagine, to a lesser extent as we don't see them anymore) All three skids beer bonged the PAS like it was extra sweetened koolaid!

Truthfully I am RELIEVED because their manners, hygiene were beyond hope. Absolutely feral and I got ZERO backing from either Guilty Daddy and of course not the BM clan. All three are absolute failures academically and going nowhere (except to prison) fast.

Don't beat yourself up. It's now time to focus on YOU! Get the audio book "The New Codependency" at the library and listen. You've been knocking yourself against the StepHELL brick wall for FAAAAR too long!!

I am not surprised by this because this abuse has been too long coming. You tried and BM won't give up like she's never been divorced from her ex. People like BM are psycho and to be honest with you, you need peace in your life.

You and so many others are fed up with the issues involving being a step parent. The BM is the instigator of all of the drama and the DH does nothing but coddle his children out of guilt. Goddess, it makes me ill.

I'm this close myself to leaving my DH (not for dear) because of his son. I have told the counselor time and time again that I'm fed up with having his son in his life after all of the damage that (insert ugly words) have done to him, his grandmother and to everyone. The child is nothing more than a POS and this week, POS called and was talking to his father in regards to getting a job to paying everyone back for all of the money that was given out. I immediately lost my appetite and my DH said snarky, "You still hate my family don't you?"

My remark, "Your son is a pedophile. Who wouldn't hate him? Society sure doesn't want him around and he's a big boy. He needs to help himself."

Apparently that didn't go over well with DH and I don't give a <****> if it does or doesn't. He says he wants to have his son over to visit and I stated point blank that I'm going to start investing in ammo and get my rifle cleaned.

I foresee a divorce in my future...thanks to his family....

I have totally disengaged from my psychopathic, perverted ss15 as well. Right now, super easy to do since he is in juvenile detention. I have no idea when he is getting out. Hopefully not for a long time. I have known the kid since he was 1. Was extrememly hands on parenting up until about age 9. Extreme to the point of more so than either of his bios-but things just got worse and worse and the ages from 9-14 were quite hellish. So yes, I disengaged. I had kids of my own I need to protect.

Thank god I did not have to leave my dh-he himself got on the disengagement bandwagon as there was simply nothing left to try with this kid. It's sad that things had to turn out the way they did-sad for everyone, but I am not willing to offer up myself or my kids in a futile effort to try and save ss from himself. Apparently dh got tired of that as well.