I believe that you have to be happy in a relationship in order for your children to be happy but i also believe that that particular relationship should include your children.

I dont believe that abandoning your children is the best option. What kind of man should expect this from a mother? I can see though that he is making it clear what he wants from life and leaving the choice up to her
I think she is making a very bad desicion if she decides to go ahead, this man is obviously narcissitic and the relationship will be doomed to failure, either via him being controlling or her resentment at losing her children.

They will break up and then she is left alone with 3 angry children that could very well never want to see her again!

I wouldn't blame the boyfriend too much - at least he is being honest. You wouldn't want to move in with him and make a committment, and then find out he doesn't want the skids living with you. I give him credit for being honest. Skids are a massive liability and full of pain and disappointment - kudos to him for recognizing this early.

I would have to say that your sister probable should not have the children. If she is that more interested in having a man than her children what kind of mother is she - I am not saying this to be harsh but it seems to be a reality. At least she gave them back to their fathers and did not kill them like some mother's you read about in the news (ie Susan Smith) because they want to be with the boyfriend and the boyfriend does not want kids.

I had a friend - a very good friend - who I helped out by letting her and her kids stay with me when her and her BF broke up. She had two kids, the older one was (is?) very messed up. The younger one lived with his dad most of the time.

She met another guy and I heard through friends that she was planning on moving away. I said what about your kids? She said that the younger would stay with his dad and her older would stay with her mother.

I said you are planning on leaving your kids for this guy?!? She said yes and I said that she wasn't the person I thought she was and hung up.

I have never spoken to her again. I never could imagine a mother being able to voluntarily live without their children.

Yeah Im that stupid. They needed a 'closure' night or whatever. I believed the stupid fuckers. As for the kids.. well... I turned up there to throw a wobbly about the whole situation, the children were locked outside at nighttime in winter, wet knickers on their heads (i have NO idea how it came to be that way) and the parental team had chosen to forget their existence as (and i quote) "we need to do this for us, its not about the kids"

Yeahhhhhhhhh. Stupid me. Oh well. Learnt my lesson, didnt I. For what its worth, So did he (muahahaah), and so did she (evil muahahaha)

Really? LOL! What the hell? Are you unstable? They were never left outside, nor did they have wet knickers, nor on their heads. What the hell is wrong with you making this shit up?!

No, they weren't locked outside, not once in their lives have they been locked outside. DD has locked *ME* outside and had a right old giggle about it.. but no..
They were put to bed by both me and your partner, we sat down read them bed time stories, kissed them good night and got on with it.
There was no underwear on their head, and even if there was it would have been a clean dry pair of knickers and it would have been a freaking joke. The implication that they were wet, well you know what you meant to imply which is absolutely disgusting, and this smearing of my name, no not my name I dont care whats said about me actually.. you can call me ugly and old if you like (though I don't think 30 is particularly old)

What I do care about is the slander of my parenting, I'm a freaking fantastic parent, I make mistakes, my house isn't always clean, I dont get opportunities to dress fabulously like you.. but I do very damn well between studying at uni and raising 2 children. Not you, nor anybody could ever tell me I am doing a bad job because I'd die for my kids, and I give them everything i have, physically, emotionally and financially.

Part of me wonders if you're telling everyone that I am so awful, why the hell am I wasting my time being nice to giving clothes to you and having 2 - 3 hour conversations.. what's it all for?

I'm hurt, very hurt, because worst of all you had led me to believe everything was in the past and we were 'friends'.

The adult relationship/marriage is the heart of the family. The kids benefit from it but the relationship/marriage is the priority. IMHO

However, the adult relationship/marriage has a primary responsibility to the children. To provide a home for them, support them, set an example, mentor, advocate for them and discipline them.

Abandoning children for a relationship renders that person less than desirable as a partner in a marriage. Unless one partner is controlling and the other without any character the marriage will fail. Hopefully before another child is born to parents without any redeeming quality or character.

IMHO of course.