A glimpse of my future???
I am at a loss. I don't know what to do anymore. Everyone always told me that me and fiance were rushing into things by getting engaged and what not. Now I believe them. It wasn't until recently when I've began to pick up on things he does which I have never noticed before. (we have been together for 2years)
He has a son, 2, almost 3. He tells me he wants me to treat his son as if he were my own. Well easier said than done. I have no problem rewarding him, caring for him, cuddling, kissing, punishing him etc.. I love his kid dearly. But he NEVER disciplines his son ever. the kid runs the house and walks ALL over fiance. I can't stand it. Hes a perfect little angel when I'm taking care of him in the mornings, he listens to me very well and always minds his manners. When his son is being a terror I suggest to fiance "put him in his room until he settles down and is ready to behave". Thats what I do and it works. Fiance can't stand the thought of making him cry, he especially cant stand seeing him cry and put his arms up "daddy, come here" in his puppy dog face.
Fiance keeps telling me that I will understand when I have my own children. But I feel like I understand now! I know how little kids work. They play the puppy dog face and scream and cry when they want attention or to get what they want. Fiance tells me to treat him like my own but then plays the "hes my kid" card. I hate that!
His parenting skills are making me question whether I want to go through with the engagement and get married and have a family of my own with him someday. Is this a glimpse of whats yet to come? Or is it because its only his first child and hes doing things on his own? BM is a joke. Just things he does and how he lets his son get away with murder, it bothers me. I know I will not raise my future children the way he is raising his. Thats what worries me. I've always thought parenting was supposed to be a "together" thing. I thought it was supposed to be team work. Not good cop, bad cop. Maybe I'm simply overreacting but its annoying!
I posted a different blog about the baby monitor. His son is going to be 3 in december! But he refuses to get rid of the baby monitor. I have told him countless times I lose sleep every night because of that stupid thing. He wants to know his son is safe... he doesnt even hear him half the time when he does wake up! Thats what really gets me! He just doesn't listen to me when it has something to do with raising his kid or really anything to do with his kid. He thinks because I don't have any kids of my own that I don't know what I'm talking about. I just really needed to get this all out. Its nice to vent and to have the option of people commenting and giving me feedback.
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Comments
yeah he cant have it both
yeah he cant have it both ways, he cant say to you "treat him like he is yours" and then say "when you have one of your own you will understand" he needs to make up his mind. At the same time though most families have issues with parenting differences. I am the bad cop at home and DH is good cop with both bio children and step kids. We have arguments all the time about how he needs to start backing me up. 4 years down the track it is slowly sinking in. What i did was i let him come home to the mess i try to clean every single day. As soon as he realised that the place looked like a hell hole because i was the one either cleaning it or nagging the children to clean there mess he has started being on their back about it.
Men only realise things when they have to do it themselves. We have a 2 year old together and he lets her get away with stuff and i have decided that if he created that monster then he can deal with her naughty things. I know she is just a baby though but when it comes to bed time and eating bad food dad just cant say no so i leave him to look after her and i go to bed. Its his own fault, he will learn the hard way.
I suggest you should let him learn the hard way, it wont take him long
haha I have tried to let him
haha I have tried to let him learn the hard way. The junk just kept piling up. Hes lazy. He doesn't care that there are messes around the house by his kid, he knows that eventually I will cave and just clean it up. I let the house get trashed with his sons toys for two weeks and all he did was shove himself a path. I think letting it go was worse than just cleaning things up!
As for the junk food and the bed time issues... I think he looks forward to his son not going to bed right away! Thats just more cuddle time for him and his son. I get no alone time with him because he lets his son stay up until 10pm sometimes later! He used to be in bed by 8. I liked that. I would come home to a quiet house and it would be just the two of us for a few short hours. He just loves to let his son run the house. Thats my issue. I wish there was a hard way for him but theres not. He just goes with the flow and not in a good way.
My husband and I have
My husband and I have different views on parenting and it's basically splitting us up. He's a yeller and a screamer, and he threatens things he never carries through on. I am quiet and friendly to the kids, but if I tell them they are going to get in trouble for something, they get in trouble! If I had my time over again, I would never have married him, and would have run a mile! I can't tell you to do the same thing, especially if you love him, but will tell you that counselling, or a parenting course can really help. Good luck!
Sounds like my guy, he's full
Sounds like my guy, he's full of empty threats. Where as when I say "your going to your room" he goes to his room and stays there until hes done crying and freaking out. I understand that every parent does things differently but I guess I always expected the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, have the same views on parenting as me. Something to think about I know.