Back into the maelstorm
It has been three years since my dipshit SD46 walked in front of a train, lost her hand, entire arm and one leg. My husband has scraped a life together for her by sheer will. She is currently destroying everything he put together for her as fast and as viciously as possible. She is doing street drugs, not getting her psych drug shots, being vicious and nasty to everyone who tries to help her. He has continued to go down and stay there for a day or two every 2 weeks.
A few months ago he came home a day early. He said he left because she was being verbally abusive, he warned her that he would leave if she didn't stop, and she kept going so he left!. My jaw hit the floor, he actually created a boundary, then maintained it. I was flabbergasted, but so happy. He kept it up, she would call and yell at him, he hung up, he would go see her, she would be mean, he left. It was like he had an epiphany and finally saw her for what she was.
He went to visit her about 6 weeks ago, came home early, really upset. She was screaming at him because he wouldn't take her to buy drugs and said she was going to call the cops and say he raped her. She was also going to report him to ISS for lying about his hours. (He has been getting paid for legitimate hours and giving the money to her 'boyfriend" so he would stay overnights.) he was pretty shaken. He said the boyfriend told him she was saying this to other people too. DH was also just diagnosed with Hyperthyroidism, which he believes has been caused by the stress she creates. Whether or not that is true, stress definitely exacerbates it. So he decides to stop visiting her for a while, still talks to her, she never apologizes, says she can't be held responsible because she is in pain.
Yesterday he tells me he is going down there on Monday. Nothing I say will stop him. He is willing to risk his freedom, his health, his family and his marriage to do I don't know what to try to keep the situation from completely blowing up. I think letting it blow up is the way to go. Let social services step in and take care of it. It seems that if a family member is involved they back out and let them deal with it. They are not going to let a female triple amputee live on the street. They will find a monitored place when they are forced to. But of course, I am the ESM (Evil Step Mother) who SPE (sad puppy eyes) who doesn't love his misbegotten spawn, so my opinion is worthless. I finally said, maybe he should just go live with her and visit me twice a month. I am just so damn tired of having my life controlled by this twat and having a husband that allows it. 45 years next month.