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Will It Ever End???

kim1960's picture

BF emailed BM to see if we could have ss this weekend from 12 to 5 since it was his weekend for visitation. BF had stopped overnight visitation because of BM's accusations of us saying "adult things" in front of ss, our not feeding him properly etc. BF still sees son for Wednesday night visitation and he and BM always meet at a store halfway between the two homes at 8:00 when visitation is over. Well BM decided to consult her attorney and have her attorney call our attorney to say that the usual drop off place was not acceptable. Apparently it is only acceptable on Wednesday nights. Then of course our attorney had to call BF, thereby running up our bill and he charges $280 an hour so you can imagine how furious BF is. He simply said then he will not see son this weekend. Why can't this woman ever make anything easy? Now BF is totally stressed out and upset. Why can't the pick up/drop off point be the same as it is on Wednesday nights? Wouldn't the consistantcy be better for the four year old anyway? BF's attorney advised him to do what it takes to see his son but BF refuses to go through this everytime. It's just ridiculous. We have court on April 24th, BF and BM have filed Indirect CIvil Contempt charges against each other. She doesn't want him to get son for tax exemption every other year sinse overnight visitation was stopped. Even though BF pays $800 a month in child support and pays for the medical and dental on him. Now because of this we won't see ss this weekend and will probably lose the exemption but we can't afford for her to be calling the attorney for every little thing and running up the bill. What a control freak!

Comments

papergirl31128's picture

I know how frustrating it can be - but keep a journal- every conversation every denied visit- then when the day comes and you have to go back to court then you have proof of everything.
I know that it sucks we are going through something similar.
Good luck!!!

stepup's picture

Okay.. let me just fill you in briefly on something I JUST learned.

By FEDERAL LAW (which of course overrides ANY divorce document you have).. the parent with PRIMARY custody of the child (ie, the one who has them the majority of the days per year) gets to claim the child on the taxes. If by some miracle, the parents can prove they each have the child 50% of the year exactly, then the parent who makes the most money gets to claim the child on taxes.

So.. If you don't have primary custody, you're going to lose this fight.

And I'm surprised that you BF is so unwilling to even temperarily jump the hoops to see his son. If you think BM is being unfair, take her to court.. have your lawyer write her lawyer a letter about it.. but don't take it out on the 4 year old. He doens't understand why daddy doesn't come anymore.. he only knows he doesn't come. And what does your lawyer think about him not doing the overnights anymore? I'm suprised that BF isn't listening more to his lawyer. He pays him a lot of money for his opinions.. and then not to listen is only setting yourselves up for LESS time with SS.. not more.

My advice.. suck up the inconvience.. document EVERYTHING... and take it up in court.

Stepup

Miles2go's picture

Were the details of the ability to claim the child as an exemption specified in a divorce decree? Was a Form 8332 )Release of claim to Exemption) ever signed? My ex and I were to alternate claiming dd3 as a dependent, as specified in our divorce decree. However, exdh had primary custody and getting him to sign the release of claim form was a bit of a nightmare and a small legal battle. Luckily, my lawyer charged "only" $100.  BF should continue the visitations AS IT IS WRITTEN in the agreement, not because BM makes accusations or a lawyer says she said this dropoff doesn't work.  As others have said, document everything, and look into communication only through Our Family Wizard.