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WELLL....

kaffonseca's picture

Not sure if any of you remember my post about a friend who's wife left him because of his "son"..and he called and told me that he realized that perhaps it IS his son and his xwife that ruins his relationships? Well that is actually my Xfiance. He was and has been my one and only TRUE love ever.

We broke up for many reasons...Jen..you remember me mentioning my X being a cop..yep, that's him..he is a Boston cop and a Sergeant in the army. We were together five years...well after we broke up..met a chic married her on the rebound and had another daughter.

I actually became friendly with his 1st xwife of his son (who is now 11).

Well we have become friends..due to my being engaged..we never talked that often or talked about "relationship" stuff . I basically listened to him talk about his current xwife (divorce almost final) and the drama she is causing him. She hates his son soo much that she won't allow him to have their daughter (who is almost 2) on the days that he has his son..it's crazy..not to mention the child support he dishes out.

So now that I have my own place he has been my shoulder to cry on..so you never know what may happen..I'm not rushing or hoping for anything..but it's there and we'll see..if so I'd have a SS and SD with a psycho BM..lol

Comments

kaffonseca's picture

Right now I'm going to enjoy being young single and on my own! Smile

"He grew up in my heart, not my belly"

Stick's picture

Do yourself a favor and don't even think about this right now. You are on the rebound, but it also makes me question why you aren't really giving yourself some time to heal. Are you the type of woman that has to have a guy in her life to make her get along better? I'm not asking this to be mean. I'm asking this as a serious question. I thought you loved your ex-fiancee. Didn't it bother you that he said he loved you and has seemed to move on quickly? Don't you question that in yourself?

stuknaz's picture

right! You are on the rebound! And why are you "anticipating" hooking up with this new guy so soon? How long has it been a week??
You need to spend time with "YOU" and just "YOU"

"And this too shall pass..."

Sebbie's picture

I would rather be hated for who I am, then loved for who I am not.

My best girlfriend was and is a classic Codependent, in that she constantly tries to FIX others by blindly sacrificing her own welfare in the process, emotional and financial. My concern for her and for you is that you will lose touch with your own needs and wants at this time, and instead focus on this ex of yours and his life and issues( which btw is nothing more than a distraction for you right now from the rejection you are feeling from your recent break up) You are a giving person, however, now is the time to start healing yourself. Often times we allow ourselves to be attracted to other NEEDY people as their needs or deficiencys become a magnet to us. The risk in doing this is that while focusing on another seems to lift the fear and depression you may have been experiencing, it can also make this man appear to you as a new prospect, someone else to live for, making him appear to you as "truly the one". You just spent so much of yourself trying to fix your ex, and now this other man with what sounds like considerable issues of his own, is drawing you in. While this man may truly be the one and only True love as you have stated, I hope you will first take time to love yourself, heal yourself, find understanding in what your ex did or did not do that brought on the demise of your relationship, find understanding in yourself for what you did or did not do as well, then hopefully you will be able to see this other man and his situation clearly. Understand it is not your job to fix him or the issues in his life, and stand back far enough that you can continue your own healing while being able to witness weather this xfiancee is proactive in his own life at taking control of and working out his own issues alone.

imagr8tma's picture

Please do yourself a huge emotional favor..... Take some time to relax and breath. Be single and enjoy single things.

Both of you guys may be on the rebound right now. AND there are always two sides to every story. He may not be telling you all right now.

Take it easy...... at least for a couple of weeks.