I should have slapped the daylights out of her!!
Well, for a second there I thought things were getting better around here. I have made a lot of progress with the stepdaughter who is now 13. Mostly just with things like picking up after herself, shutting her bedroom light off B4 she falls asleep, keeping her shoes off the furniture, little things like that. After the way she treated me a while back I almost hate this kid. Like, I am realizing she is not the person I thought she was and it scares the shit outta me that she is only 13 and is that fake.
Three weeks ago I opened her bedroom door and she (who was supposed to be cleaning her room) was sitting on her bed using Snapchat on a cell phone that she took out of my nightstand. When I opened the door she shot up and slid the phone under her blanket. I told her to hand it over several times and she wouldn't do it. When I tried to reach for it she put her whole body over it and wouldn't budge. I gave her several more opportunities to give it up and cop up to her shit and she just ignored me and shut down still holding the phone under herself. I tried to lift her up a little and reach under her to grab it then when I almost had it she shoved it down her shirt. I am not fishing around in there for it lol. So I lost my temper, yelled at her "fine when ur dad gets home we will deal with this and u r in deep shit" and I slammed the door. As I walked away I did call her a lying, thieving little snake because I was so frustrated and couldn't believe that I just caught her red handed and she still was lying through her teeth.
A little bit of history on how we ended up in this situation:
A while back she got cought stealing a phone from her after school teacher so this is where the whole lying and thieving part comes in. B4 that her own phone was taken away because she was caught telling lies to her friends on Snapchat about all kinds of crazy shit and even started a rumor about herself that she is pregnant. She swears up and down that someone had her password logged on and sent it to all her friends but after everything we have been through with her I'm pretty sure she did that all on her own. Which is why we took away her phone and internet privileges.
Anyway, shortly after I stormed away she came out saying "it was my tablet u saw I was trying to see if I could get it to work again" that of course was a lie so it just pissed me off even more and I told her she was full of shit and I know it was a phone that she was hiding from me. Then she tried to switch it up on me saying that I told everyone she is suicidal and cutting herself (which I kind of did do only cause I found a letter she wrote to her friend that had a bunch of lies in it and she wrote that she had been cutting herself and having suicidal thoughts and I got concerned and brought it to her father's attention and a few close friends and family members but her dad was right there with me telling them so that's not all on me) she said the only reason she thinks about killing herself is cause of me and I'm the liar and this and that she even got in my face slapping her hands together like she wants to fight. Shit was getting way too heated so I bailed to the neighbors until her dad got home (about a half hour). Even then she still didn't cop up to her shit and tried to make me look like I was crazy and making it all up to her dad. That Saturday I went to a engagement party for some friends and he took her to go grocery shopping with him. I get home and they are chilling eating popcorn, doughnuts, ice creams, like nothing even happened and all is just peachy. Once again that just pissed me off all over again. This time I was pissed off at him too for allowing her to treat me like that and then spoil her with sweets and junk food like she's a perfect little angel. That was the last straw for me so I just went to my room and went to bed to try and clear my head. Sunday morning I woke them both up and told them I needed to talk to both of them. I told them if she don't stop lying and start owning up to her bullshit and if he don't start holding her responsibile I will sell my horses and pack up my baby and my dog and I will leave. I do not have to put up with this shit and I will not live like this with her making all these terrible choices and not being held accountable for them. How will she ever learn how wrong these things are if she is always rewarded for that kind of behavior instead of disciplined? Her dad yelled at her told her to hand over the phone she still lied and lied and lied. This time she said it was her mp3 player she had. I knew she was full of shit and was never gonna admit it so I gave in and told her "I'm going to try to believe you but if u are lying I will find out." I hugged her told her I loved her and that this lying has to stop and we can get past this. Well, when she went back to school that Monday I searched her room there was no phone and I knew she had to have it in her back pack. I told her dad I wanted him to search her back pack as soon as she got home and sure as shit the phone was in there. He finally stepped up, chewed her a new one and sent her to her room. It literally took me 4 damn days to prove that I'm not the crazy liar and this child truly has a problem.
Since then she has been grounded to her room unless she is cleaning, reading, or doing yard work. It's been over 2 weeks since she pulled this shit and she still hasn't admitted that those were the wrong choices or even apologized.
Also since this all happened I decided I do not want to be alone with her until she changes her ways and takes responsibility for her actions. I will not be responsible for a child that obviously doesn't respect me and is not going to listen to me. So until I feel like she has learned a lesson and will never pull some shit like that on me again she has to wake up when her father heads to work and spend everyday all day at her grandma's until he picks her up on his way home. Gonna be a great summer for her lol.
I just don't know what to do with this kid anymore. I can't trust her at all. I've tried everything I can to try to point her in the right path and teach her the difference between right and wrong. I've taken her horseback riding, out for girls days, down to sac to visit my family, I got her a puppy, gave her her first cell phone, I've done everything to build a relationship with her and this is what I get in return. Like I'm at a loss, only thing I can think of now is to get her into some serious counseling or send her little ass to church, I just don't know.
Maybe I should just move out cause if this shit doesn't change I know it will only get worse and that's not healthy for any of us. One thing I know for sure is my baby will not grow up to be like her. Sure she'll probably lie and make bad choices too but she will know that if she fucks up we are going to deal with it right then and there she will have to talk it out and acting like nothing happened will never be an option. It may be too late for my step daughter but my baby is going to know better right out the gate. I'm going to teach her responsibility, respect, honesty, and kindness. Everything her sister just can't seem to comprehend.