does this mean that his retirement check as the highest ranking AF position is so low it would compute to CS at $200.00? HOLY CRAP if so. 

Well much as he might love to retire and be a stay at home dad, reality is he has 2 other children to support. Sounds like he is being really selfish and totally negating his children's needs for his own.
$1040 for two children is not bad honestly, I have seen CS set for 1 child at $1500 per month and that was with EOW visitation.

ETA I would expect the same if the roles were reversed and it was a BM retiring and wanting to stay at home and not work and expect to live off the CS alone. Nope get a JOB and support the kids.

ETA
Look at it this way, if this were still an intact marriage and he was retiring he would be looking for another job because he would know he's got teenage children to support and help get through college. I don't see how his new spouse feels him retiring and being a stay at home dad is going to save them any money? Realistically he can make more money as a contractor which is what most retired military do. And if she's still enlisted she can get on base child care.
Is he thinking because they will be 3 1/2 hours away he will somehow have more time with his kids there by lowering his obligation to them to only 100 dollars a piece per month?

It is selfish. Does he bitch about paying child support? From what you wrote it doesnt sound like it. Do you think because you are so agreeable he thinks you wont do anything about this. What about his wife, do you have a good relationship and how is her relationship with your kids? Wonder is she bitter? She has little reason to be, but you never know.

Yeah, it's not reasonable for him to stop paying because he wants to retire at 41, and as you said, the court wouldn't agree with it anyway.  Can you make it about the kids - ie, I really still need X amount to support them, given (fill in the blank on their needs and activities)?

I have a friend who does not make her ex pay full support, but takes a much smaller amount, with the understanding that if she needs more money for certain things he will cough it up. He knows full well that she's giving him a good deal, so he does. They get along well, and it's worked so far (kid is turning 18 this week). Would your ex work that way with you?

I believe if he CHOOSES to not work, CS does not change. The only time it would go down is if he was fired, laid-off, or went on disabiltiy; basically involuntarily not working. 

I think he has the right to stay at hime and look after his child. If he was a stay at home woman who had another child what would happen?

He might only be 41 but he might be worn out from a stressful job and deserve a break.

He is going to be available to spend more time with the bio kids you share with him. Perhaps their father's time will be more valuable than money.

arrangement. He wants what he wants, and is willing to screw over everyone to get it, but hasn't thought things through.

I think you should refer to the CA cs calculator to find out what he SHOULD be paying, then respond with something like "While I congratulate you on completing your military career, our kids' needs haven't changed. You are already paying less than ___, the CA recommended amount of support, so I find it unreasonable to expect me to work more so you can not work to support ___ and ___. Teens are expensive, and there's still college to consider, so I must decline your proposal."

I've  known several people who've put in their twenty in the military and went on to successful second careers in the private sector. It's just what you do, and your ex obviously isn't running the numbers or he'd realize that he can't really afford to retire now. He'd also be screwing over his second family by depriving them of future financial security. 

He may pout and call you a greedy GU, but it's really he who is the twat. 

His optional retirement and choice to no longer work does NOT mean it costs you less to support your kids. I'd be straightforward about it and see what they say. Maybe they can continue to cough up the $1,040. Gheesh!!! Retired at 41! He's going to go out of his mind. I'm guessing he'll return to the work force after he gets a few months of 24/7 home life. 

Is he ordered to pay for college for your kids?

Is he paying for health insurance?  Will he lose tricare for his dependents when he retires, including your children?

Will he spend more time with the kids, longer visits or something?

What do you want?  Do you want CS to stay the same?  Do you need it to stay the same or above a certain threshold?

Who pays for travel when the kids go visit him?

How old is the other child?  I assume his W works.

Project managers can work from home, work temporary contracts for a few months at a time and then have time off to be a full time stay at home parent between gigs.  I have a brother who does exactly that.  The money is very good and he could and maybe should consider something like that, to be able to continue supporting his kids the same way he is now, earning more for retirement or college funds for all his kids.

Another alternative would be for his CS to lower to XYZ amount each month but he agrees to continue paying that amount until the kids are through with college.  Or something like that?

ETA: I also don't think it would be right for your DH to be supporting his children financially because he wants to stay home and take care of another child.  If your ex is the honorable man, wants to be a good provider type, that argument might have a lot of sway.

That's the trouble with being amicable. It's too easy to take advantage.

The needs of your shared kids don't change because he retires. Remind him that you've never asked for more support even though you could have, and you're not in a position to take less since there is no reduction of expenses for you. Good for him for retiring and congratulations on that, but he still has two kids at your house that need his financial support.

I suspect what he's going to do is stay at home until his youngest child is school aged (will your kids be 18 at roughly that time?) and then go back to start his second career.  I'm sure that works really well for his new family, but it doesn't work for you.  I'd remind him that you have never tried to take advantage of him, and you've voluntarily agreed to take less than you were entitled to, and then tell him that your children's needs have not decreased and you think it's fair and appropriate for him to continue at the level of support he currently pays.  

I would be stunned if he was not imputed with income that got him to at least what he's currently paying, so he's being disingenuous by saying the calculator shows $200.  He wants it to look like everything over $200 is a gracious gift from him, when in reality everything less than what the calculator shows at his current income is money you're leaving on the table to his benefit.  Definitely tell him you want CS to be unchanged.

Congratulations on your goal to be a sahd!  However, we also have kids who are teens and have more expenses than ever, plus we need to discuss college costs which are coming up soon.  I think cs should be XYZ amount and we should agree in writing to split college costs up to XX amount or XY% of in-state school/community college.   

Would be a good place to start.

Also, consult a lawyer in your area for a quick check, but I suspect they won't allow him to have cs lowered because he chooses not to work.

Well if he can afford to retire then I don't see how anyone can tell him he can't. He is telling you 200$...is there any chance he is lowballing you in the hopes you will skip going through the courts and just settle for the 200$ or whatever number? I would be wary. I've dealt with so much deceit over BM not paying child support and her sneaky tactics to get out of paying anything (we have primary and have since SS9 was 2. I would speak to a lawyer or a case worker or whoever handles your child support agreement to make sure you are getting a fair deal. 

He THINKS he can afford to retire, but he's in for an unpleasant surprise when he finds out how hard it is to live on one income.

Dude has obligations. How he pays cs isn't your problem.

Wow.... so essentially he thinks you should foot part of his retirement? Huh. Yet you are the one worried about sounding greedy? 

What a jerk. 

What u think is fair, sounds amicable and reasonable. You've seen the amount he has to pay by law there is massively lower? so more than that is a bonus, whatever his circumstances. I'd probably air on the side of what others have said, you are worried about the financial impact on the kids, could we keep it towards the higher end if he can afford to pls? 

He'll be stay at home dad with his baby with SM. It's all good and dandy but that's going to be on expense of kids he has with you. Doesn't seem fair. 

Why are you addressing it as "he". Is message not for him? Is that for his wife? Why is it up to her? I'd only speak to him directly 

I am a bit confused on why someone making 2900 a month would only pay 200 in CS? Is 2900 after tax? Regardless are they saying he gets to keep 2700? Does his child with SM only costs 100 a month too?

When my DH was barely making much money he still was ordered to pay $800 in spousal support. What calculator is he using 

This thread kind of makes me livid. 

if non custodial BM quit her job and refuse to pay CS (which does happen) she'd be called all kind of names on steptalk. Yet it's ok for a father to do that

If SMs on here started sending BMs letters on how CS is going to be going down, they'd be told they overstep and need to back off. Yet because BM is the one posting here it's all good and dandy and SM is being such a sweetie with her letters to BM. 

I think maybe since daddy quits his job to watch his baby, and SM is the one communicating it to BM and likely driving that idea, maybe SM should get a second job or better paid job and contribute to paying CS to OP

It sounds like he won't voluntarily pay what he was previously paying. As others have stated it would be best to seek legal counsel about this. What he has on his side is that he is retiring, he does need to care for his other children, he has other children which will be taken into the calculation, he pays travel costs and assumably insurance. $200 is a minimal amount do you have two children with him? If so $100 would be the minimum for each child.  
 

What you have in your favor is that he has been paying more (aka status quo) and that you can request that child-support be recalculated at any time. It is unfair for your children to have to suffer because he chooses to not work.

The reason y'all have been getting along so well is because you've been taking less than your children deserve and bending over backwards to be nice. It's time to look out for your children's best interest and quit worrying about what the ex thinks of you. It's obvious That he is looking out for his own best interest and not ALL of his children's.

I'm sure if it went to court, they'd impute income regardless of his "I want to be a stay-at-home daddy" status. 

I would not back down. You are and have been completely fair to him. He's now trying to swindle you, in my opinion. Not cool. 

Women tend to take less than they are entitled to because they want to be nice. Remember...every dollar he should be paying and isn't is one he is taking from your pocket. Is that nice?

Look, I sympathize with his daycare issues. But he isn't the only one who has to figure that out. Retiring at 41 is an easy way out and shirking his responsibility. So they have to figure out daycare... certainly with a vaccine schools won't be virtual forever. He is asking too much. What would he do if he was a single father... he would have to figure out how to take care of his kids...ALL of them. He chose to have more kids. He can continue to support them.

I would respond with sympathy over the child care issues but he still has a responsibility to care for ALL his children and voluntarily being unemployed is not going to be an acceptable excuse to reduce child supporting.   Point out that you have asked for less than he should have been paying for years...but you are not going to let him off the hook.  Explain that courts generally impute income at a level where someone could be earning when they choose to be unemployed...when their spouse can pay the bills etc... it is entirely possible the court will order more than he is now paying. You are willing to keep cs the same now... no guarantees on what a court will limit him to. He could end up with more obligations. 

So, basically, he's claiming that he could never find a job that would cover the cost of daycare? Seriously? With his qualifications and work experience? Can't see that going down too well in court.