You are here

Quick update

just.his.wife's picture

Submitted by just.his.wife on Sat, 05/12/2012 - 7:59pm

I have been cleaning. Out of bathroom cleaner with bleach so I have to stop for now.

He dodged the kick in the nuts. Apparently heard it coming in my voice. He will likely have a nasty bruise on his inner thigh though. He still speaks in a baritone instead of falsetto because he explained his over reaction comment was to throwing the clothes out. Then once he talked to the police he decided I under reacted and should have shot BM and burned the clothes.

BM was arrested for burglary of an occupied dwelling (due to me coming home and finding her in the house) and contributing to the delinquency of a minor (4 charges). She admitted she knew she was not welcome in the home by either DH or myself. She handed all four phones over as soon as they asked about them. DH's kids admitted they should not have had the key, BM told them to take it and they did because they felt they were being abused by no one doing their laundry for them and BM agreed with them.

Police called DH to come get the kids as their mom was being arrested. DH advised for the children's health and well being he did not feel they needed to come to our house this evening. The police department had 2 choices, charge the kids and take them to Juvie or call DCFS. They charged all four as accessories to BM's burglary and they were taken to the juvenile assessment center. DH has to pick them up by 8am. He is leaving them there overnight and will get them at the last possible moment tomorrow.

The police did come back and I had to sign the paperwork to press charges. No hesitation to do so on my part and DH handed me the pen to do it. They have the cell phones. I told them we had no use for them and they could keep them as evidence.

I was warned, she has no record, she will likely be able to enter a diversion program and do no jail time. But she is definitely spending the weekend in Jail. Apparently there are no first appearances for bail to be set until Monday morning!

Comments

Mom2TwinsnTeens's picture

Submitted by Mom2TwinsnTeens on Sat, 05/12/2012 - 8:05pm

Sweet

Most Evil's picture

Submitted by Most Evil on Sat, 05/12/2012 - 8:09pm

OMG - wow-!!! Good for you-!!!!!!!!!!!!! The f'ing nerve of them???!!!! Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!

Most Evil's picture

Submitted by Most Evil on Sat, 05/12/2012 - 8:17pm

Oh gosh - can't DH keep them? He needs to take the day off or something-!!!!

No WAY should you be stuck with them so soon-!!! that is going to go over like a brick

just.his.wife's picture

Submitted by just.his.wife on Sat, 05/12/2012 - 8:28pm

DH is cleaning out their rooms now. Mattresses on the floor. All possessions removed. One pillow, one blanket per child. He is turning the house into their make shift prison.

And he called his boss, told him he would not be in tomorrow, he had an emergency case of needing to kick his kids asses and whip them into shape. His boss marked him down as having a migraine and wished him luck.

Physically they will be here tomorrow. But they will be banished to their rooms. Will not be allowed out when DH's mom and my Mom arrive for brunch. And if they are smart they will not even come out of their rooms while my kids are here at all. Not even for a bathroom break.

DH plans to go shopping tomorrow since I threw out the majority of their clothes. He is buying two sets of school uniforms for each of his kids. No, their schools do not require them, he figures they are ugly enough and uncool enough to add to the punishment of no possessions of value.

So, tomorrow morning I have to make the decision to formally press charges on his kids or dismiss them. DH says it is my house, my decision and he will back me. Anyone here have any idea what effect this could have on their futures? I would love for them to have to go in front of a judge etc and learn to obey the law, but I do not want a black mark on their records that will effect them in their adult lives, once they pull their heads out of their asses and stop taking everything BM says as gospel.

All are minors. Oldest is 17. Would their records be locked as juvenile records? Or would it follow them?

Most Evil's picture

Submitted by Most Evil on Sat, 05/12/2012 - 8:47pm

For the kids, I am leaning towards just scare them into thinking you will charge them, but then don't at the last minute - boot camp at your house is their punishment

But BM - yes, press charges imo-!!!!!! Our BM would NEVER hesitate to press that advantage if she got the chance, and I am sure this one wouldn't either. She needs to learn a lesson, to stay the f. out of your house-!!! so it has to cost her!!!!

janeyc's picture

Submitted by janeyc on Sun, 05/13/2012 - 9:31am

Ha ha she's in jail, open a nice bottle of wine and have an undisturbed night with hubby. I don't think I would press charges, you said they will be doing community service during their summer and as long as they complete it their record is clean, they know you mean business, ask for an apology from sd17 it is your right to do so, Im so pleased for you, so many people would have backed down, you are Warrior Stepmom Smile

LRP75's picture

Submitted by LRP75 on Sat, 05/12/2012 - 8:40pm

HELL YEAH!!! VINDICATION IS SWEET!

Let the law handle her. I bet she's shittin' her pants right now and in REAL need of a washing machine. BWAHAHAHAA!!

LRP75's picture

Submitted by LRP75 on Sat, 05/12/2012 - 8:42pm

I actually feel sorry for the kids, because their mother put them up to it. Granted, they knew it was wrong, but man - they sure were in a hell of a position, weren't they? It's so sad to know that some kids are doomed to take the hard path in life.

mlmt1128's picture

Submitted by mlmt1128 on Sat, 05/12/2012 - 8:46pm

The oldest is 17 and was stupid enough to listen to the mother?? I do not feel sorry for them at all. At 17 you are old enough to know this is wrong and to tell that woman no way.

LRP75's picture

Submitted by LRP75 on Sat, 05/12/2012 - 8:48pm

Moms hold a lot of power over their children. If she's screwed with him his whole life, he may have an inappropriate attachment issue. My brother is 38 and is just figuring out how to say "no" to our mother. Given the circumstances, he probably did know better, just didn't know how to stay out of it.

Just.his.wife.:

Is that a possibility?

just.his.wife's picture

Submitted by just.his.wife on Sat, 05/12/2012 - 9:18pm

17 year old is female. Hates doing laundry (or any chore) and was the lead voice in telling the cops how abused they were since I refused to do their laundry and would not chauffeur them around anymore. I think it is a case of lazy, bitchy, entitlement not an inappropriate attachment.

janeyc's picture

Submitted by janeyc on Sun, 05/13/2012 - 9:34am

Abused my arse she was, if she was abused, then I was also abused as a child and I am abusing my sd for asking her to tidy her toys and pick up her own rubbish.

LRP75's picture

Submitted by LRP75 on Sat, 05/12/2012 - 8:46pm

I advise to let the kids go.

I am a social worker. People who have criminal records often end up homeless. No one will hire them, etc. Being in juvi is some scary sh*t. They aren't the safest of places: inmate beatings, rapes, etc. It's just like jail - but with a bunch of really, really, really bad kids.

This particular situation may have been all they needed to get on the straight n' narrow. "Scared Straight" kind of thing.

mlmt1128's picture

Submitted by mlmt1128 on Sat, 05/12/2012 - 8:52pm

I would stay clear of pressing charges on the kids to. If the crazy has that much power now, imagine how far "Remember, your father put you in JAIL" can go??

Lalena75's picture

Submitted by Lalena75 on Sat, 05/12/2012 - 8:57pm

I'd say stick with charging BM, and since your DH is going a long way to making a nice boot camp for them one night in holding should do them fine. I know people who went to juvie and though a juvie record is sealed at 18 it's more a place kids learn even worse behavior than they had before. I'm proud of you for how you've handled it and stood your ground, I told my SO I wouldn't hesitate to do the same if that ever happened only she'd never make it out of my house I'd hope. she truly is lucky you didn't go for the gun.

just.his.wife's picture

Submitted by just.his.wife on Sat, 05/12/2012 - 9:09pm

I suck at lying. Granted she is taller and a lot heavier than me, but I do not think I could have articulated a fear of my life from her presence that would have justified me shooting her. Especially considering I was PISSED not scared.

And when I say I suck at lying, it is not just failure to maintain eye contact, my head itches, I can't sit still, I stutter and gesticulate grandly to 'prove' my point. I learned as a kid from my parents 1) lying is wrong 2) you suck at it, here is your punishment (always 3x worse than the 'crime' due to trying to lie). Busted everytime!

So yeah, I would have shot her and ended up telling the cops "dumb heffer was going through my shit and doing laundry" and ended up in jail myself... while they invited her to their house to play laundry fairy. Really glad I grabbed the phone, not the gun.

LRP75's picture

Submitted by LRP75 on Sun, 05/13/2012 - 6:57am

You wouldn't have needed to shoot her, or lie about anything, to have had your firearm "visible" to BM while you were on the phone with the cops. Personally, I would have had it drawn, in my hand, hand hanging at my side with dead on eye contact with her.

Either way, you got your point across. Muahahahaa

oneoffour's picture

Submitted by oneoffour on Sat, 05/12/2012 - 9:41pm

Yup a night in juvie will sort them out. As for MsEntitled@17 I would have her on laundry duty for all 4 of them for the next 6 weeks.
But certainly press charges on BM. She knew very well it was wrong and she IS an adult.
Good move with the takedown of the bedrooms and issuance of GI school clothes. If they feel abused I wonder how abused they feel now.
I hope your DH makes it clear YOU are the decsion-maker whether they get charged or not with B & E. I wonder how kiss arse they become?

stepmomto3bioto1's picture

Submitted by stepmomto3bioto1 on Sat, 05/12/2012 - 10:16pm

OMG!! Im just catching up for the night! Holy shit!!! Press charges on BM & scare the shit outta the kids. They. Knew. Better!!!! Oh wow!! Good for you that you held your composure!!! Wow!!

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

Submitted by GoodbyeNormaJean on Sat, 05/12/2012 - 10:52pm

In response to the kids feeling that they were abused because nobody was washing their clothes, and BM agreeing with them...I just have a question.

Why, if no one was washing their clothes, did they not simply wash their own clothes? I take it you have a washer and dryer, since BM was in your house doing laundry. I take it these little dumplings are older, since they had the stones to appropriate a house key that didn't belong to them and give it to their poison BM, so I can't see why the precious little nuggets didn't just fire up the Maytag themselves. Even my bed wetting SD9 can load her urine riddled sheets into the wash, dump a scoop of flakes into the drawer, and press the "GO" button.

janeyc's picture

Submitted by janeyc on Sun, 05/13/2012 - 9:37am

I agree its so easy to wash clothes these days, maybe SM should make sd17 wash all the skids clothes at the river by slapping them on the rocks like in the old days ha ha, that is a vision that cheers me.

stepmomto3bioto1's picture

Submitted by stepmomto3bioto1 on Sat, 05/12/2012 - 11:15pm

I totally agree with New wife!!! If the get what they did then perhaps drop the charges. But if they were still little snots about it, Id surely charge them!!! Oh the nerve!!