I left. mixture of emotions. failure. relief. pain. scared. i didn't get aw
I tried to talk to dh about money. where was the money. he kept avoiding it laying in bed. I said "Dammit I'M NOT HAPPY!" he jumped out of bed started screaming and broke my door. I told him that's it I want a divorce. he started following me around the house. yelling. I told him stop being an asshole. so he turned to our 7 year old." who picked this fight. mom did she wants a divorce huh?" I started pulling Dh arm and told him to leave he was out of control he picked me up and put me outside. locked me out. I got back in with my key. he got up with his chest to mine and was screaming at me I told him leave again. he shuved me into one wall. when I got up and yelled stop he yelled stop (my name) shuved me into pictures knocking me down. he shuved me one more time into a shelf and then force me on the couch. held my hands and used them to hit him. over and over he called the kids in there to watch. I couldn't get away. I yelled for sd16 to help... she was screaming daddy stop. finally he did. he took a step towards her I stepped in front of her pointing behind my back to the back door. then Dh picked me up and put me outside again. Then he realized the kids were going out the back door. and sprinted there. I got there first but couldn't get it locked in time. he pushed me against the dryer. the sd16 and bio son 4 ran to neighbors. but bs7 kept crying both of you stop.
The cops got there. made him leave. I went to the ER for my jaw. and my pastor bought us one night in the hotel. next day I went to project safe.
I finally went to my parents. They loaned me money and I found a place to live. DH is being very weird. he loaded stuff. asks me if I need anything. being great to the kids. now im not sure if the EPO was the right call. when he gets it that might all crash everything. I don't know which way to go.
I took sd16 back to him next day. then she ran away the next day for the 7th time. now she keeps calling me asking me to let her live with me. I keep saying no. after all shes done to me. why the hell would I do that. her dad is safe. but what made him snap on me?
I was so bruised. Im so hurt. I don't know which way is up which way is down.
I just put all the bills into his name.
so I can pay my own but he won't be able to afford it. he doesn't get paid enough.
He asked what he had to do to get me back. I told him hes 40 years old and I doubt he will ever change. He is fine with being this broke. I want more to life than always struggling with money because he has no ambition to get better. I lived in filth. I can't do that again.
He says he will take his test for aviation and get a good job at the base here. but I don't know I feel.... let down.