I agree with you, and I am so, so sorry for your loss. To me, the term single mom means a woman who is working to raise her child(ren) all on her own. She doesn't have another parent that she can depend on to have her child's best interests at heart, she doesn't have another person to depend on (or even split) expenses for the child. Divorcees who have that other parent that is stepping up and still involved in the child's life are NOT what I would call a single parent.

It's offensive to you because of your situation, but I disagree with you. A single parent is that, a parent that is singled. You don't only 'qualify' because of death of a spouse.

I consider myself a single mom-just because on ocassion EOW (sat-sun) my ex has the kids and pays CS doesn't mean that well over 90pct of the responsibility falls on me.

Day to day care, feeding them, homework, school events and meetings, taking them to see friends, to events, sporting practices and games, shopping for clothes, dentist appts, take time off when they are sick or have an event at school. I parent over 90pct of the time alone-and am a single parent. I am not re-married, nor living w/my bf either.

I personally take offense to people that try to 'qualify' others hardships and compare them to their own. It's not others fault you parents/grandparents or friends weren't supportive to give you a break. YOU deserved that break. But I think your offense is a little projection mixed with personal bias. Which is ok-because we ALL have our opinions LOL

It's hard for me to see people minimize others feelings/hardships because 'their' situation is 'worse'. You don't really know what it's like for somebody else, it's just your perception and opinion. We feel minimized/invalidated all day in our lives-that is part of life. I think getting angry at what other call themselves because you had it 'worse' is just misguided anger.

The wikipedia definition-AND what I believe MOST people hold to is this

A single parent usually refers to a parent who has most of the day to day responsibilities in the raising of the child or children, which would categorize them as the dominant caregiver. The dominant caregiver is the parent in which the children have residency with majority of the time;[1] if the parents are separated or divorced children live with their custodial parent and have visitation with their noncustodial parent.[2] In western society in general, following separation, a child will end up with the primary caregiver, usually the mother, and a secondary caregiver, usually the father.[3]

"That label insinuates that the father is completely out of the picture, either because he is deceased, not known or has abandoned the child." See this is just a different interpretation, that's all. Personally most people I know apply the term to a parent with primary and majority responsibility/custody, as well as widowers or a parent that has NO other figure in their life (this applies to mom/dads). Most men I know think of 'single mom' as a divorced or custodial mother, that is single-in other words they know getting involved if the relationship DOES work they will be taking on a big role and responsibility that normally would be shared with your spouse/father if married. Again-this is the interpretation of everyone I personally know-but opinions differ.

I think it's wrong for women to qualify other womens hardships or positions comparing solely to themselves...whats with THAT victim mentality?

I think single mom refers to all women who are no longer with there child’s’ father. I am married but I consider myself a single mom to my BS14 because even though my BS14 sees his father once a year I take care of him 99% of the time. I don’t expect anything from my DH and if he does do something for my BS14 I am grateful, but if my BS14 needs anything I am the one that is makes it happen. Is my SS11 BM a single mom? Yes she has my SS11 (her sonn) a greater amount of time then my DH does, he is a parent twice a month. Twice a month he helps out with his HW and parenting. He is a weekend parent. He calls him during the week, but lets be honest it’s not the same thing is helping with hw afterschool, fixing dinner, going to parent conferences, picking up from school, etc. It’s unfortunate, and that is why everyone should think twice before having kids with someone.

That's my point-my exh doesn't do homework or anything else other then some fun stuff EOW-and typically does not even call in between those times-he also does not spend the time he is allowed on holidays, summer, school breaks-his choice.

My bf DOES do a lot more with SD then my ex does-but I still think of BM as a single mom-a SHITTY single mom but she still is one lol

A single mom is one where the birth father is not living in the household.

Sometimes even a single woman with children would not necessarily be referred to as a single mom if the paternal parent has always lived in the home. I lived in a state with common law marriage for many years.

Any woman not living with the parent of her child (children) but having custody of her children is a single mom. Not a reflection on the involvement of the father. Anyone will admit that living alone with a child is differnt than livng with the father no matter how much time he spends with the kids.

I get a little annoyed. I was truly a "single mother." My DS's father fled the state when DS was only 6 months old. He never got in touch with him again until he was over 18...and then only by FB.

PB considered HERSELF to be a single mother. She even signed up the skids for the Big Brother/Big Sister program! I am a huge proponent of this program but NOT when it interferes for visitation with AN ACTUAL PARENT!! Yes, that's right. She would keep the skids home from visitation with DH because one of them would have something planned with their BB/BS.

I didn't even start receiving CS until DS was almost 10! PB has been receiving CS on each skid as early as she could....INCLUDING when he was living with her and the child/ren! By the time he is done paying CS, it will be over 19 years total.

I just always took it to mean an unmarried, single woman living with her children. She is single. She is a mom. To me, it doesnt particularly make any sort of statement about where dad is, if he's in the pic, if he lives down the street.

I was a "single mom"-my first dh died when my kids were 2 and 9 months. However, I take no offense if some unmarried woman with kids wants to refer to herself that way.

Personally, I don't think anyone should get their panties in a bunch over titles people chose to use.
Girlfriends, live-ins, and "significant others" are TECHNICALLY not a stepmother. However, many women in those circumstances call themselves stepmothers.
How is this any different?

When I got divorced, I had primary of my kids. XH saw them sometimes, paid CS sometimes, nothing consistent. I think I qualified as a single mom. I do everything for them.
Why do you care what term I, or someone else, chooses?

I would like to add my 2 cents. I was a single mom with my BioDs, who are now grown. That was a very hard time for me. No help 24/7 365 days a year. My kids wents with out ALOT because I counldn't afford to give them some of the things they needed. That being said. My DH and SS, BM is NOT single Her oldest son 13yrs is in his dads custody. MY SS is in his Dads custody. Son #3 is with BM and Looser Dad. But all we ever hear is how hard life is on BM raising 3 kids by herself. WTH! All she has to do is pick them up every other weekend and drop them back off. And go to some sports avents. Remember this BM no asked you to have kids by 3 different men. Then you wouldn't have to drive all over two countys EOW. Oh and I should add BM that you no longer have to drive but in 1 county because your visits with SS are now SV and 2 sat. a month. But your to sorry to even do that.

i was a single mom to bd16 for the first 10 years. her POS "father" went to prison until she was 4 1/2, i was on my own. he went in before she was even born. then he got out and hadn't matured or learned anything at all. he chose to go live his life of crime and repeatedly impregnant people, while i took care of bd alone. he paid no cs and never came to see her unless it was to show off a new gf to me, and that only happened a few times. he has not been a part of her life, neither physically nor financially. he has not been there in any sense of being there.

when she was 10, i met fdh. he has taken over the fatherly duties to her, for the most part. he leaves the discipline up to me, but he takes care of us and provides for her. so i am not a single mother anymore. he however, used to refer to himself as a single father, even though bm had full custody of sd and he only had her eowe. that one never made sense to me.