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The open door

JRI's picture

Im a 75yo SM and this is for all of you who think 18 is a magic age when your troubles go away.

DH83 is the original Disney dad, now Disney grandfather.. One reason we are still in this house is because of the basement room which has its own bathroom and refrigerator.  Four of our 5 kids have come back at some time or other.  He likes to be able to offer that.

My GD37  just called.  She and boyfriend are thinking of relocating to this city, can she stay here awhile?  He wants to look for a job and she can work remotely.  Oh, and he has  a big dog, too.  Steptalk was going thru my mind so altho my grandma instinct was to say YES!, I said, let me talk to Grandpa and I'll get back to you.  Well, he got on the phone and basically said yes.

So, here we go again.  This isn't a step issue, this is my own granddaughter.  Sigh.


Catmom024's picture

Ugh.  Well I hope they move on quickly from your basement...or maybe they'll end up not even moving in.  Don't let them get too comfortable!!

You are definitely doesn't stop at 18.  That's when things actually got a lot worse for my SO.  Instead of having his kids 50/50, he had them all the time because the second BM wasn't getting child support they were no longer allowed at her house.  Unfortunately they were used to running wild, partying, doing drugs, breaking the law, etc.  It was a nightmare.  I was so thankful i had my own place.

And yes, unfortunately they reproduce and the BS continues.

JRI's picture

I'm not the white-hair-in-a-bun, apron wearing type Grandma.  I identify more with Lily Tomkin in Bad Grandma.  So, I'm planning to have a frank talk with her.  If he's looking for a job, I dont want to see him lounging around all day.  I already told her DH is not up to letting the dog in and out because it involves steps.  I already told her not to count on me for meaks, I cook sometimes, sometimes not. Of course, sbe swears they will do all dog care, their meals, etc.  My main concern is there's not a definite move out date which I understand because who knows how the job search will go. DH is all wound up, thinking of all the worst outcomes ( BF could be a federal fugitive, her smoking could burn down our deck, etc). I decided my best course was to take a hot bath.  Lol.

Kes's picture

If you meant "Grandma" with Lily Tomlin - I loved that film too!   Personally I have said (and this applies to my own daughters as well as my SDs) that they could only stay for a few weeks in an emergency - we are not quite you and your DH's ages - I am 63 and he is 57 - but I have got to the age when I want and require my peace and quiet.  Hope your GD's stay isn't too long. 

Wicked stepmo.'s picture

I know my SO would be the same way. That is why I am planning on a very small retirement home or condo.