Flashbacks and triggers
I'm wondering why some things cause us flashbacks and triggers. I am assembling a scrapbook of Mom's pictures for her 100th bday party. So, I've been going through my many family pictures and can hardly stand it. Her pictures and our family pictures are all mixed together and I can only take about 15 minutes at a time.
It's similar to the feeling when I get home from visiting someone in the hospital. I'm wiped out, start drinking wine and feel exhausted. I ask myself, what's so tiring, all I did was sit in a chair for half an hour.
The pictures of DH, me and the 5 kids look happy and normal but evoke such strong feelings, I can't even describe them. It seems like regret and sorrow. Its not just the SKs, its my bios, too. Is it steplife, or just life?