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Seeking advice about CS

InsanityRUS's picture

Hello,

I’ve been lurking for quite some time & decided that I need to post about a new issue. Please help me…I know that this is a CRAP situation but my DH & I really could use your advice.

There is a messy back story that will make this blog way too long so I am condensing it to this.

SS20 was born when DH & BM (never married) were 18. BM lived with her well to do parents until 3 years ago & DH was in the USMC until 2005 when he was medically retired. His income went down A LOT & he should have gotten the CS reviewed…but he didn’t. He is now behind by quite a bit because he pays half of what is owed to BM each month as directed by the TX OAG. They said that provided he pay SOMETHING showing that he is trying, that they will not go after him in court & that if anyone tried, that the judge would rule in his favor because he’s making payments, even if they are minimal.

DH also pays CS to another BM for 2 kids & he has custody of 2 more. The first BM (of SS20) said that minimal payments were fine because she “didn’t need the money” while the second BM is well…the devil…he’s not behind with THAT one.

A week before SS’s 20th birthday, DH got served with papers asking the courts to remand him to custody for the 5 months that he did not pay in 2010…they are asking for $500.00 & six months in jail per month that was missed in 2010. They also want to charge with criminal contempt.
He met with BM & the lawyer who said that provided he pay $200.00 per month to BM for CS & $50.00 to the lawyer for his half of the fees, that the above would not be enforced. Once DH finishes school (retraining by the VA), his payments will go up to $350.00 to BM & $100.00 to the lawyer until both are paid off.
He is $15,000.00 behind on CS, not including interest.

The purpose of meeting with her lawyer was to try to avoid court…but apparently, he didn’t get the paperwork into the courts in time so DH just found out he has to go to court tomorrow morning.

He’s worried because he has no idea what to expect. He can’t go to jail because he has custody of his 2 youngest kids. He has been making half payments as instructed by the OAG, he’s trying to make good.

Have any of you had experience with your own DH’s or BD’s being taken to court? What was the outcome?

Please help!

Comments

StepDoormat's picture

Hmm. So - is THAT the BM that said "don't worry about it - I don't need the money"?

If so, PROVIDED THAT SHE DIDN'T RECEIVE PUBLIC ASSISTANCE, she might be able to waive back support. I don't know why any BM would waive the right to free money - unless she's a decent person who realizes she isn't gonna get anything... and doesn't want to see her child's father go to prison. If she received any type of public assistance (food stamps, healthcare for the kids, etc) then she has no right to waive it. The state will prosecute.

I don't know why the lawyer said "nothing will happen". Non-payment means something WILL happen... it just varies with how long. If it was HER lawyer who said that, it was because he was getting SOMETHING for his client... and something is better than nothing.

I would say that your husband has every right to be worried right now. $15k in arrearage is a big deal. However... given that he has sole custody of his other kids, I find it unlikely that a family relations judge would put him in jail... at least for very long. But, they will likely garnish his wages to the max.

InsanityRUS's picture

Thank you for the response. He's been paying half to this BM for about 3 years now as instructed by the TX CSA. She's the one who said "don't worry about it" yet now that she's had 2 kids with her non-working hubby, she is suing DH for higher payments than what he is currently paying.

attempting_to_maintain_composure's picture

Uhm, if the new kids aren't your DH's, then she can't legitimately ask for more CS to help cover THEM, too. That's messed up. Maybe the courts where you are are backwards and screwy, but, as far as I know (with my limited knowledge based on convos with family court lawyers, people on this site as my SO has no formal CS order), she can't request more money because she elected to have more children with someone else. That's on her. Not your DH.

ETA: And as far as I know, CS can only be adjusted in the event of a new child in regards to an NCP who pays CS having another child so that the new child can be cared for.

Also, if anyone can clarify what my understanding of this is to a more 'correct' understanding, feel free! The more I know about this nonsense the better I say, even though GUBM won't be taking my SO to court for CS anytime soon.

attempting_to_maintain_composure's picture

I think where I got confused was the statement that she's pursuing higher CS payments. Though this could really just mean that she's just trying to make him pay full amounts of the ordered CS every month vs. the half-payments he's been making.

attempting_to_maintain_composure's picture

>>>>I don't know why any BM would waive the right to free money - unless she's a decent person who realizes she isn't gonna get anything... and doesn't want to see her child's father go to prison

That would be one of my dear friends that you described there. The BD to her son was out of the picture for 13 years, she tried to pursue CS for the earliest years when she didn't make much money and was going to college. But, after a while she just stopped and got help from friends and family. But, when he resurfaced when her son was 13, she waived her right to back CS as she was making more than enough money to support her son and she knew that sending the BD to jail for failing to pay CS for 13 years would only delay getting any CS from then on. And, just to throw some awesome sauce on top of her: She has put all of the CS into a bank account with her son's name on it so that he will have money to help pay his way when he goes to college next fall.

InsanityRUS's picture

He has been paying HALF of his monthly obligation even though she said not to (she said "don't bother" for years)...SO was paying what he could (half of what was owed because he knew he was responsible for his son's upkeep & he wanted to do what he could). The OAG said that half of the payment was sufficient for him to not be pursued legally. BM now wants over the full amount owed per month until the arrears are paid in full.

She herself said that she has little kids & needs the money! Apparently, the money train that was her parents has stopped because she got married.

I understand that this is money that is OWED to her & that she has the right to it. DH understands that too! He'd kicking himself over the stupidity of listening to her for all of those years & for not having CS reviewed when he left the military due to his disabilities incurred while in the USMC.

I was wanting to know what experiences you guys have had on these types of lawsuits...whether it is your DH or your X. If SOMETHING is being paid, do they normally press criminal charges? And could the BD be put in jail?

Aislinn81's picture

Your husband should not have taken his BM at her word...if he was paying on one account and only paying half on the other? I don't care what anyone told him, he should have known better, he should have asked for a mod.

It sounds to me like BM is taking you to district court and not OAG court which is a big huge difference...suffice to say...your husband has a good chance of being screwed here...

Never ever ever ever listen to a BM say they don't need money...sheesh...

InsanityRUS's picture

He is receiving disability (not retirement) & is in school on the VA's dime for retraining. He pays well over 60% of his income to the 2 BM's (CS & private health insurance) plus still has to care for the two he has living with him...

The active CS case is in the process of being reviewed. The OAG are the ones who told him to make half payments for the 20 year old.

He's literally paying far more than he can afford. But he's paying SOMETHING!

StepDoormat's picture

Is he paying directly? Federal law says that you can only have up to 50% of your disposable income garnished for any given reason. He'd be better off paying through garnishment.

InsanityRUS's picture

The Department of Veterans Affairs is paying his disability.

He's mainly worried about getting a criminal record & jail out of this whole fiasco.

StickAFork's picture

OMG, so he's been paying half of the court order for seven years?!?

What does he think "court order" means? YIKES.

If this guy has kids with 3 different women, he knows how the CS game is played. Why this man didn't file for a modification and instead took the "suggestion" of an attorney instead is beyond me.

He probably won't go to jail. They don't have room for real criminals, but this isn't going to go away. He really screwed himself.

InsanityRUS's picture

Lord knows why he didn't file for modefication! He's actually been paying half on the word of the Child Support Agency here in Texas (The OAG).

The 2nd BM plays the CS game well...funny enough, he's up to date with THAT account. The 1st BM on the other hand said "Don't worry about paying" & is taking him to court even though he's faithfully been making his "good faith" payments.

herewegoagain's picture

Ah, yes, as the witch...who couldn't afford one kid so now she has 3 more and when she had her 3rd took DH to court for more money. WTF did she have more kids? 4 kids and her jobs consist of McDonalds, Aeropostale and similar...from one to the other constantly...really? WTF do you have 4 kids? Ah, so glad it is over. Anyway, the aholes in Texas won't care more than likely. But at this point, they SHOULD go with his current wages and if they are shit, she might get less lol Good luck. Get the calculator out. And by the way, remember he normally has about 30 days to go back to court...so he can decide that is NOT fair even afterwards and try to get more money.

lawyergirl06's picture

What will likely happen is, if he can show that he is entitled to deductions and his income has decreased, the court may lower his payments on the back child support, however, he still owes it. The Court cannot go back and modify child support arrearage amounts but they can set him up with a "purge" plan which means if you pay X amount for a period of time, then you have purged yourself of the contempt. Does he have anything in writing where BM said, "don't worry about it?" As for the other BM and child support, he may want to try to get that amount decreased based upon lower income and disability, which could allow you the opportunity to put some of that money towards the purge as well. The prosecutor, if that who is asking for the criminal contempt, or her lawyer will have to prove that he is WILLFULLY in contempt of the court order but if he relied upon her statements and assertions when making the payments, he can use that as well. It would be nice if those assertions were in writing, either by text or email. Additionally, they have to give him the chance to find counsel. And if they are asking for 6 months of jail or more, he may actually be entitled to an attorney under the 6th Amendment, but again it depends on who is asking him to go to jail. It wouldn't hurt for him to ask for court appointed counsel, but their role would be entirely limited to the child support issue and getting him a purge plan. I doubt he would go to jail tomorrow but jail could be a possibility in the future so he needs to make sure he is not entitled to court appointed counsel. It never hurts to ask. Good luck

hismineandours's picture

I woudl think it would serve no purpose for anyone to put him in jail. Would his Va payment stop if he's in jail? If so, then there would be no child support paid to anyone, thus putting him farther behind.

IMO, it sucks that someone gets injured serving his country and then could go to jail because he can no longer make as much money as he once did. I would contact the VA and see if there is someone there that can help him with this mess. For sure, he messed up when he didnt have it lowered-but that's too late to alter that now. That's what happens when you just trust people

tryingmom's picture

My experience in TX as a BioMom: ExHusband owed $45K in back child support, willingly did not work for 2 years. When the OAG finally brought him into court to answer as to why he was not working or paying child support he was scolded to make a payment and it was continued for a month. Upon that court date he had gotten a job and started making payments. Paying something is better than nothing. In mediation prior to the next court appearence I allowed for some of back child support to be waived. In the 2 years he didn't make payments he did not seek out visitation. He then had his wages garnished through their system and he had to pay back ~$28K child support/health insurance AND make current payments per the agreed upon child support. He was paying about $350 a week for 2 years until it was paid off. I do believe the OAG was willing to work with NCP to provide for their children. This was almost 10 years ago. I know that these days they try for mediation instead of bringing bio parents to court. Jail is usually the last option.

Your husband has been making payments, when his income dropped he should have worked with the OAG to get CS modified but I do believe his efforts to pay something means more than not paying at all.

I hope it works out for him! Positive thoughts going your way!

I've been a BM and a SM, my DH and his situation has shown me the other side. I never asked my ExH for anything extra and now live in a situation that the ExW asks for EVERYTHING to be paid by my DH and he is raped by CS. No accountability for her spending it and never has money to pay for the barest of neccessities. SMH!