So much nonsense
I'm new here but thought I'd start sharing.
A little back ground - I am BM to 3 BS's - all grown,working, and successfully raising their own families - they are delights to be around. I am SM to 3 SS's - 2 from Wifey#1 who raised (pretty much on her own) 2 delightful, hardworking yound men who are also working and raising their own families, and 1 from BM (wifey#2) who is a trainwreck and her evil spawn didn't fall far from the crack house.
I came here for tips on disengaging and realized I am in a large group of like minded step partents. I am going to try to post more blogs as time permits ( because the past 6 years have been hell and I have learned alot) but I wanted to start with how my DH justifies SS12 horrid behavior. This child is a compulsive liar, he steals, he is manipulative, deceptive, and disrespectful.
DH has full custody with BM getting very limited visits - which are too much in my opinion beacuse SS comes back worse than when he left.
Last night SS lied to me and then completely disregarded somthing I told him he had to do as a consequence for the lie. DH is in his recliner the whole time and when I asked if he would please deal with his evil spawn (no I didn't call SS evil spawn, but that is how my mind translates it) he said, "It's not a big deal. You have to admit he is a pretty good kid."
IN WHAT WORLD???
DH and BM do not know how to be parents. BM wants to be friends so SS will convince the courts to let him have more time so she can start getting child support - yes she has told him this in those words. BM doesn't work, is a felon, and has a drug habit. DH wants to be the good guy because, "This is last chance to be a father".
So I had the fun time of explaining how compulsive lying, deception, and stealing does not constitute a 'good kid' in anyones book.
Basically if the child isn't commiting a crime or being completely destructive DH thinks I am over-reacting. The PP plan states that only DH or BM can disipline SS so my actions are limited even though they live in my house (bought and piad for before we met) - and my state has zero step-parent rights. So to end this discussion I removed cords from all electronic devices and told SS it was a priveledge to use my stuff and my electricity so when I seen respect, better behavior, and a little effort to help around the house he would earn usage.
He begged DH to "Make me give him HIS cord back." DH tried to take his side and I let him know I'd take his cords too since he doesn't pay for anything either. This shut down DH. I told SS to go read a book. SS started crying - yes crying - beacuse he "didn't want to read." Can anyone say "Drama"? This is exacltly how BM acts. I told him if he didn't want to read a book he could go to bed - his choice. He chose to read. It's a small success I guess.
We will see how it goes. The house was really quite last night.
I am stepping up my disengaging.