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Preteens and hygiene

I love dogs's picture

I know this is laughable for most of you, and my last post got me thinking. I've mentioned it before, but SD12 has to be told when to shower. Every other day is acceptable since she doesn't have gym class. Her hair is very fine and pin-straight, so it gets greasy by the 2nd day of not washing.

Every. Single. Time. She comes over from BM's house, her hair is a ball of grease. I don't like being seen with a grungy looking kid, so she always bathes every other day at our house.

Here's the thing: she has to be told to do so. Still. Even though she knows that's the rule. I told DH the other day (before the glue/ laptop incident) that she needs to be told that she will NOT be reminded to bathe or do laundry at our house anymore and needs to be responsible for herself without being reminded all the time. If she doesn't have clean hair or clothes, she can only blame herself. She wants to move out of state for college at 17 and that will come VERY quickly. I told DH we are raising her to be a responsible adult, NOT a dependent teenager.

I was raised by a single dad so I did all of my laundry by 9 or 10 and made sure I bathed regularly. I even liked helping with dinner and (didn't like) chores (but still did them). Is this too much?

Edit: I bought her nice deodorant and a mild face cleanser since she had a bad breakout recently. I've told her to dry her face with paper towels since wash cloths carry bacteria. I don't think she uses either but at least she puts her rubber bands for her braces in every day and eats the gummy vitamins I bought her lol

Comments

s-kill me's picture

SS14 has to be forced to shower every single time he comes over.  My god he smells SO awful.  He does have PE.  In fact he has 2 PE classes because he also has weight training.  BM clearly doesn't make him shower.  Or use deodorant.  Or brush his teeth.  IT INFURIATES ME.  I literally gag when he comes in the house.  My MIL has made multiple comments to him about his hygiene as well.  DH instituted a shower schedule at our house.  (And we force him to put on clean clothes too- heaven forbid).  But SS NEVER does it without asking.  Every Friday night when he's headed to bed I say "you need to take a shower.  you need to brush your teeth."  He will usually start to say he doesn't need to, or he took one that morning, etc etc until DH reminds him that we have a rule that he showers Friday and Sunday.  So he'll sulk off and take a shower.  Then DH has to get up and see if he brushed his teeth.  Probably 8 out of 10 times he didn't.  And then we start the process over again the next day.  It is disgusting and I don't understand this level of laziness. 

Tiger7's picture

My kids were good kids - no real problems when they were teens, but I had to remind them of things constantly, especially my son (the youngest).  By senior year of high school, I was totally hands off since they'd be on their own in college.  They had to wake themselves up, get to school on time, etc.  They all did it just fine.

ESMOD's picture

I really don't know.  Maybe they get nose blind to their own smell??? like that febreze commercial?

I know that both my SD's were probably not great at taking showers until they got a little more into the middle school age where they were getting interested in boys and wanted that attention.. which meant they liked to look and smell cute.

s-kill me's picture

Someone tell me how to get SS14 into girls.  Or friends.  Or activities.  OR ANYTHING OTHER THAN THE COMPUTER AND TV! ha! It's gonna be a long summer!

ESMOD's picture

I hate to say this but one of my coworker's bio son is out of college and still not a lot past that.

TwoOfUs's picture

My stb18 SD also looks greasy all the time. I don't get it. I literally cringe when she rests her head on my furniture..

Cooooookies's picture

SS15 has been HORRIBLE with hygiene the last few years.  When he first came to live with us, DH would "forget" to have him take a bath.  SS was 10 at the time.  Which was infuriating because DH made SS have a bath every night when they still lived in Cyprus so I called DH on that fact and said geography doesn't give you amnesia *eyeroll*

SS started smelling SO BAD around 13 years old so we made it a rule that he showers every night.  Then it was a fight to get him to use soap and shampoo and not just stand in the shower for less than 2 minutes.  He's pretty good now but it's been an uphill battle every step of the way.

I've said it sooooo many times before but:  I LOATHE teenagers!!!

Mky0005's picture

I had to teach my stepdaughter how to shower. Like how to soap up her body how to wash her armpits how to wash her crotch and butt hole. She's 14 and she still has a BO smells all the time. At this age I don't feel like it's appropriate to have to watch her in the shower again but damn I don't know what else to do. Whenever we tell her she needs to take a shower she has an attitude but she stinks horribly. And she thinks she is so cute. She wants to get the tips of her hair dyed blue because she is just so adorable. Honestly that's like putting lipstick on a pig. She has so many other problems. I'm like no if you can't even wash your vagina and armpits then you're definitely not gonna get your hair dyed. You are not mature enough.