I would do what BVD said. Cuntalotapus gets mad that I go to SS's events but I don't think she should be upset because she doesn't go anyway. The one time she did go she threw a great big fit that I was there BUT she didn't tell DH she was going. I would have gladly spent the time with MY son over doing her job as "mom"

Ya, that's not right. Sigh.

My impression of what was stated is that SM will be there from x to z and if BM is planning on going/volunteering BM is to pick a different time frame, period. BM is not to be there at all in any capacity during the SM has chosen to be there.

Yeah, that'd go over like a lead balloon at my house. Miss SM deliberately chose the tie slot where the child performs and is telling BM that BM must show up at a time the child is not performing. Screw that. SM can bake cookies.

Why do you allow her to get away with this? These are doing this crap because they know you all are too nice to go off on them. I bet if you flipped on good time, they will back off.

Oh I agree! The text telling poster when she could and could not volunteer was wayyyy out of line. If SM wants to volunteer, then she does so taking the risk that BM may choose to volunteer at the same time, another time or no time at all. One should not have anything to do with the other. You do your thing, I'll do mine... for the good of the kids?

and why would the ex even feel the need to send this text? Have there been prior issues between SM and BM or is this just completely out of the blue?

There is a difference, trust me. My girls love their SM and vice versa but there are some things a mom should do. My 7 year old was in the hospital last year for a week. It was a very trying time. I was 7 months pregnant. SM would lay in the hospital bed with my daughter and I would have to sit in a chair in the corner of the room because my ungainly pregnant body had to pee all the time and getting in and out of the little hospital bed was not possible. All of the doctors would come in and immediately assume SM was her mother because she was in the bed with her and she did nothing to correct them. They would only make eye contact with her and address her and give her the diagnosis and treatment plan and I was constantly the entire time fighting for my rights and having to interupt. Every single time. They would say, "Does she have any allergies? Any metal in her body?" Now this woman met my ex over the internet and had just moved to Florida to be with him. She did not know my children for very long and she is answering their questions and giving consent to treatment with me standing there!!!!!!!! Really her role should have been to pat my daughter's head and give her coloring books at that point. It came to a head where I lost it about day 3 in the hospital room. She had taken a turn for the worse and we were heading to the MRI room and she vomitted everywhere. We had to go back to the room to change when I hear the dramatic highheels running and clicking down the hall and shouts of "oh my baby! My precious baby." She gets there again as I'm undressing and changing my daughter. She says, "Do we need to remove her shorts?" I say "No." So she goes to the nurse and asks in front of me and then the nurse starts calling her mom and the MRI people come in and they hand her forms to sign to consent for anesthia and call her mom and she happily starts signing and I LOST IT. I said, "me! I am her mother! Me! Talk to me! This woman has no legal right to consent and she isn't paying the bill!" Then she yelled at me that "It's not my fault they assume I'm her mother!" and the doctors even said she was overstepping and said she could not come back to the hospital floor unless she had my permission. My ex would say things like, "you just stay home with our other two" and SM will stay up here at the hospital. Relatives would come to visit and would gift her with Monster High dolls and she would just lecture endlessly on how she didn't approve of the dolls and It was crazy! There is definitely a happy medium but I am no absentee parent and I want to parent my child.

I can see your point, Daizy.

I was accused of overstepping my boundaries by BM, only because SD and I had a really good relationship and I spent a lot of time with her when she was with us. I never tried to do anything with SD on BM's time. I wasn't involved in her school or any other activities - I was just a big part of her life EOWE. I know that I didn't do anything wrong.

After a year or so of BM constantly bashing me and saying that I was overstepping, I decided to take a step back and stop spending so much time with SD when she was with us. I had my own baby and focused on her. But then a year later, BM came at me again through her lawyer, saying that I was neglecting SD when she was with us.

I think sometimes you just can't win when you're an SM. However, in the OP's case I do think the exH and SM have crossed the line.

So you wont babysit my BS for me for a weekend so DH and I can get away?

Amen! Preach it Sista!

My school (inner city public)has a tea for Mother's Day and a BBQ for Father's Day. The kids love both events. They are attended by moms,dad,grandparents, aunts or uncles. Many of our students come from single parent homes, but they all have someone in their family who will come in and take part in the event with them.

Oh, when we have our Holiday show, the kids sing both secular and Christian songs. In the past our band has played Oh Holy Night and Joy to the World.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's my favorite site which reminds me mother's day is coming up....I know a certain MOTY that needs a gift! }:)

HAHA! Your SM is truly out of line. Stalking your FB and Lord knows what else, pinning your pins and shit. THAT is overstepping and weird, especially given that you and she are NOT friendly.