You are here

Need advice

Hironymous's picture

My wife slept with her ex, the father of her children one night drunk after I (cheated on) and left her. We reconciled. 3 years later I found out and dumped her. Is there anyone in a similar situation (with step kids and all) who stayed and worked through it?

Comments

SteppedOut's picture

My advice: you broke up for a reason. Let sleeping dogs lay (you should have the 1st time).

Based on the limited imformation you have provided, this sounds like an unhealthy relationship you both should move in from. 

ESMOD's picture

You cheated on her.. broke up.. she had some payback relations with her EX.

I'm kind of in the "you broke up for a reason".. camp.

I mean.. why did you cheat?  I'm thinking that your transgression was 100X worse because your infidelity was while you were IN a relationship.  Your Wife's (exwife?) activity took place at a time when you were broken up.. so you have to accept that you have no business judging what she did during that time.. She wasn't being unfaithful to a relationship.

But, can you get back together and look at each other without thinking about what the other has done?  Will it always be thrown in each other's face?  I dont' know what kind of people you are.. it is difficult to get past that kind of hurt (ON HER PART).. you really have no grounds to be angry at her.. but I can see how it might bother you.

justmakingthebest's picture

If feel like you betrayed her 2 times now. Once by cheating and again by breaking up with her for having sex with someone while you were broken up. 

Let her move on. 

Also- stop cheating.

Iamwoman's picture

You broke up with her for having sex with someone three years ago when you weren’t even in a relationship with her at the time? Um.... ok.....

You are the cheater here. Stop deflecting your own immoral behavior onto her.

Leave the woman alone. You two don’t need to be together.