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End of the Line

Hershei12's picture

I haven't blogged in awhile. Things are about as bad as they can possibly get. Both SKIDS (SD17 and SS19) and I are totally disengaged. They are now allowed to miss school, DH does nothing about it. After they have both cussed him out repeatedly telling him to "shut the F up, get the F out of their room, you are stupid, you are a piece of shit," his stance is let them let enough rope out to hang themselves, its their choice. SD has missed almost three weeks of school supposedly sick but yet she can go to her afternoon job every day and stay out till 10:00 every night and be gone all weekend. SS19 is still allowed to drive the car I pay for and have all the privileges associated with life even though he can't get up on time to get to school. He even snuck his GF into our house at 4:00 a.m. on a school night! All DH did was ask what he thought he was doing. At first DH said he would make SS pay for his own stuff. Even told him that but now says that he is afraid if he makes him pay for car, insurance and phone that he really will drop out of school to work more hours to have more money. So, I give up. Of course, they call the older sister and cry to her about how horrible it is at home, how DH is yelling at them, etc. then she calls DH and yells at him and has even said she refuses to bring the grandson over because I'm a bitch! I honestly do not care one way or the other what happens to these self entitied, disrespectful brats! I couldnt care less if the oldest ever steps foot in my house again. I have told DH that I have no interest what so ever of having any relationship of any sort with any of his children.

This will be the first Valentine's Day that I have not gotten them anything. SS's brithday (19) is Sunday and I do not plan to even acknowledge the day. Usually I am the ones that buys the birthday cards, etc. Not this year. If DH wants him to have one he needs to get it.

DH travels and I hate when he is gone becauase I am left alone with this little assholes! OH, here is the bst one. When I lock the door at night they tell him I am locking the door in hopes they don't have their key. Really! They expect the door to be left open 24/7 so they can come and go as they please. Tonight he is gone and I dread going home like crazy but I have my mother there who has dementia that I am responsible for. She has heard me bad mouth them so bad that last week she told both skids they were "lazy pieces of shit!" Inside I laughed but I know that she is only forming that opinion because she has heard me and knows I can't stand them. Oh well, if the shoe fits!

Comments

tog redux's picture

Well, you said you were at the end of your rope in September, now it is the end of the line, apparently? But is it?

Time to make a make your own change because obviously DH won't do anything different.

MurphysLaw's picture

Why the hell are you paying for the punks car note????

Sell it or let it be Repo’d!!! 

Cut back on ALL EXPENSES, only purchase food for you & your mom. cut off all cell phone plans/cable/internet and let daddee pay them ALL or change passwords.

IF they DARE raise their voice to you CALL POLICE IMMEDIATELY say you are in fear for your safety, they are out of control.

Cant believe Truancy Officer hasn’t been knocking on your door! Hope your ball-less husband goes to jail for it!

Why is a loser 19 year old STILL in school? Or even still out home? Kick the little bitch out 

Hershei12's picture

I was and am at the end of my rope. If it was just me, I’d leave but now I have my mom to consider. They are both seniors and I know SD will move out at the end of the school year because she is planning on college. Even if she flunks she won’t stay here, she hates it here (thank God). 

You would think that the school would be knocking down the door. Apparently they don’t care! SS is in alternative school because he got busted smoking weed! It’s pathetic! 

I have already implemented changes. I no longer cook for them. I don’t do anything for them and as far as paying for the vehicle, the payment comes out of my check. It’s in both our names or believe me I’d get rid of it. I’m in charge of the finances so i am going to start paying myself back out of DH’s income.

I can’t afford to leave. I’m stuck. My goal is to just make their life as miserable as mine is! Hopefully they will leave!

MurphysLaw's picture

That’s a start.

and as I said, if they raise their voice or so much as look at you sideways CALL THE LAW! You can not have screaming little lunatics upsetting your elderly mother!

And God bless you for taking care of your mom, I brought my mom into my home & she stayed with me till she passed (Alzheimer’s) so I know the stress & heartbreak you are going through TAKE CARE OF YOU!

Monkeysee's picture

100% pay yourself back for the car out of his paycheck. No way in he!! should you be paying for that little aholes car. Is there anyway you can escape to?

Where is their mother? And I agree with Murphy, call the cops on their asses if they’re out of control.

tog redux's picture

You can move your mom out - does she get any income, social security or anything? Depending on where you are, you can get help as her caregiver.  It's not good for her to be in such an environment, either, it will likely make her more distressed. 

Where there is a will, there's a way.  Don't let fear block you from seeing possibilities or saving up to just get a small place for you and her.  Putting that car payment in a separate savings account is a small start. Sock away a little bit whenever you can.

justmakingthebest's picture

I honestly don't know how you are doing it. Where is BM in all of this?

I know you are almost free of SD if she is going away for college, but what about SS? Does your Dh have an exit plan for him?

I am not sure how your relationship outside of the skids is with your husband. 7 months seems like an eternity to have SD move out but if you are just trying to hang on until August when she leaves for college and if SS will have finished his alternative program by then... if just making it thru that long is your freedom from them, I can't blame you for trying to hang on to see what life is like on the other side of your stephell. 

Hershei12's picture

We will have been married 3 years in July. I have been with him for 12. He has had custody of them for 4 years. BM live in another state and is crazy as they come. Everything is a battle with her. Paying for college is going to be a battle. I am just trying to hold on in hopes that they will both be gone soon. This man is the love of my life and I really cant imagine my life without him but this hatred I know have for his children is at times overwhelming. When they are gone and it is just him and I, its wonderful. He is so good with my mother too. She trusts him more than me and she talks to him about everything and she listens to him. I actually need his help with her. This is stephell. I just refuse to let those self entitled spoiled brats win.

GrabitAndGo's picture

I'd be very concerned if I were you about keeping your SS on your insurance and letting him drive a car that's in your name.  If he's as irresponsible as you say, he's one car wreck away from your premiums going through the roof.  

Hershei12's picture

Oh, I know! I am in the insurance defense business. I see it and have told my DH that if he kills someone or hurts someone, that could be the end of us. He has had his car over a year now and I am in utter shock that he has not had a wreck or been busted by the police for drugs and/or alcohol. His tag expired in October of last year. He was to go and pay for his tag. It cost under $50.00. He wouldn't ever take care of it, so I went and got it. It has been in my car now for almost a month. He knows I have it, he knows he has to pay me to get it. I refuse to give it to him until I have the money. So, if he gets pulled over and searched, its on him. He will have to pay the ticket or he can get his license suspended. I don't care really.

GrabitAndGo's picture

Quit paying for his insurance and sell the car.  Take that money and put in a separate account known as your Getaway Fund.  It won't take very long for you to hopefully have enough to get you and your mother out of that insane asylum.  SS can figure out how to get to work and school, or his daddy can figure it out for him.  He's a ticking timebomb.