tHE MORE i READ ON THESE FORUMS THE MORE SCARED i FEEL
What is normal?
I constantly ask myself.
Will my thoughts ever change?
Will I ever learn how to communicate.
I have had some struggles with my new partner since we moved in.
I also have been on mediaction that made me way overboard on the emotional responses.
I still have a hard time controlling them and not feeling resentment about "normal" feelings.
I have so many feelings.
I feel terrible that I dread when his kids come. Last weekend they came and we had a wonderful time.
I feel awful that when they are not there and he talks about them I don't want to hear about them 24/7.
I feel bad that when he does stuff for them that I feel jealous but I need to remind myself that they need him too, we all need each other.
I know in his heart, he loves us all.
His X has dangled those kids like a carrot, when they show up he does become hyperfocused on them. Is that so bad? Not really. As a mother, I understand.
It still hurts but only in the fact that maybe had I not had a marriage breakdown and I was around my kids all the time I would not feel this way. Who knows. I picked the wronf person the first time around.
We are trying to build things one day at a time.
We both realized that stress and tiredness does nothing positive for our relationship.
I have learned I need to communicate my feelings better which I struggle with at times.
Will things get better? Well sometimes when I read things on here I think I have it pretty good.
I am afraid for many things, the toxic poisoning that happened from the BM side, the lack of communication between the him and her, the kids showing up anxious and stressed.....
I have a bit of a different situation as his daughter plays a game with her dad and it involves wanting me instead of him. It is becauase of the BM telling her shit about her dad. It sometimes takes days for her to warm up to him and when she does it breaks my heart to know that she even had to have struggle in her little heart.
I do remind myself alot that they are innocent.
Alot of feelings are magnified in these types of situations...
Jellybean
From what I have come to
From what I have come to learn, alot of what you are feeling is typical.
I too had many of these feelings, or similar, and the ladies on this site are AWESOME!! They have and continue to help me through so many things. Everything you are going thru, someone on here is going thru the exact same thing.
So keep reading, and asking for feedback. If you are receptive to what people are telling you, you might actually get some advice that can help you turn some of these feelings around.
~*~When you kiss ass, your breath smells like sh*t~*~
I agree with TheWife. Your
I agree with TheWife. Your feelings are totally normal and you will get a lot of support here!. We've all dealt with these issues and are still working on them, day by day. We're all works in progress! Anyway, just wanted to say you're not alone and there are lots of us that empathize and understand what it's like to have so many conflicting, complex and strong feelings about our marriages, skids, kids, in-laws, ex's, BM's etc...
I've experienced a lot of what you are going through and it really does get better over time. I went through a phase where I literally hid in my room to avoid my skids and I flinched and felt nauseated when I heard their voices when they got home from school. I still have mixed emotions about them, but generally everything is way better and constantly improving. One very important thing is to give yourself a break and treat yourself to an hour or two every day where you forget about your worries and do something nurturing and fun for yourself (tea and a book, a bubble bath, dancing in your bathroom to bad pop music etc...). I think we step-moms try so hard to work on our lives that we forget to take proper care of ourselves too. Problems can seem really overwhelming, but you only have to live one day at a time.
"If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they will kill you." ~Oscar Wilde