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O/T - It might be better if we parted company

Cover1W's picture

"it might be better if we parted company" says a manager I have been working with since October.

You know why?  Because I was holding him to regulations, rules, compliance.  I work in a medical/science research field that accepts grants.  Due to that we have a LOT of compliance to document and track.  I've been doing this work for almost 16 years now (!).  I transferred from the oversight office to working more directly with the labs and investigators and love it.  And I'm careful to not be too forward about the 'rules' but do bring them up if I see something going sideways - I know two of the three labs I work with have been grateful because....

The person's place I took had been there for 30 years.  And didn't manage things well, if at all.  Lack of documentation, procedures, etc.  We all knew about her in the oversight office and yes, it was as I suspected.

But this one manager  -  he thinks that becauase he says something or wants to do something, then I'm supposed to comply.  Even though he's clearly violating institutional and grant-giver policy.  Heck no!  Because you know who they will come to if something goes  So I pushed back and back because the last thing he was asking I just refused to comply with.  Luckily I have two of my OWN managers who agreed with me and have been in on this last thing a week ago, helping me craft the language to respond to him.  They've got me on this one.

So, like a skid, he didn't get his way, didn't want to follow the rules and preferred that he be an exception, then had a tantrum and decided he didn't want to work with me any more (yeah, ok, have fun with someone less experienced or with the same experience and say the same things I have been).  But I have good parental backup in that a discussion will take place that his former RA was not doing a good job and that he needs to adjust HIS expectations.  Jeez. 

In any case, there's plenty of other labs I can work with if he refuses to keep me on. 


DPW's picture

I hope you are documenting a case against him to bring to HR, or at least cover your ass in case he goes after you. This guy is toxic!

ITB2012's picture

I also work in the medical/research commercial field. And I have a direct manager that "thinks that becauase he says something or wants to do something, then I'm supposed to comply." Only mine is a she who believes that a bunch of letters after her name means she knows it all, including things outside of those letters.

Because she's so sure of herself that she doesn't ask (unless she doesn't care, it's minor, and it's a favorite person of hers), she's suggested we do some things that are blatantly and clearly against the regulations. She argues with me about it. Yet at other times she says that if I could just give her the right regulation and explain it that "we" could show others the issue. She is a master gaslighter.

I almost quit a few months ago with the most egregious one but I stayed on because we got someone new at the top. Things haven't changed so I'm looking for a new position.

And I agree with DPW: document it even if you just have it filed in your own HR record. You want to have dated and pre-existing information in case it comes around again and it's down to he said-she said. I have documented things to my own HR record AND I've sent myself email from my work account to my personal account with  details about situations.

Cover1W's picture

Thanks all - the good thing is I've been talking and working with my director and associate director on this issue and the things I've been dealing with lately with this person.  They are in agreement with my handling of the situtaion (even helped me with it a couple days ago - THEY wrote the email language I sent) and are going to HIS boss.  I'm not going to put my butt on the line and agree to ignore a big potential audit issue.  And the fun thing is this morning as I'm working on the annual report for this project I've discovered the prior admin didn't even set it up right in the first place and I don't know who some personnel even are!  So that means I have to go BACK to this manager for clarification - I simply don't have the info.

But I'm not touching that yet - waiting for more feedback first.  And I'll go to my associate director before asking him more questions.