You are here

So over it.

Hereitgoesagain's picture

HCBM is an understatement. We deal with an ultimate GU. She is reminiscent of Michelle Pfeifers character in White Oleander. A recent move has put us within ten minutes of each other which started out great. But being the single target of any and all of her anger has become incredibly tiresome. My SD is a delightful smart and kind child. So our issues are solely BM related. She’s recently been on this MY child kick, meaning everything leads back to my SD needing to be around her because “she’s her f***ing mother” which as you can all relate is just nauseating.

I’m mostly just venting with this entry. All I know is since the move my DH and I have been more than nice and helpful to her and her other kids and husband. But now her niceness has worn off and all we get is hate and bitterness. I’m just so over it. I will continue to be nice and accommodating because that’s the kind of person I am. 

Most recently she told SD to lie to DH about something trivial. Why? Who the heck knows. 

I guess if there’s any advice I’m looking for it would be how to support my SD during her mother’s ridiculous rage sessions against us. I hate that this kid is stuck in the middle and her BM does not hesitate to bash us and complain about us in front of and to her. Luckily my SD isn’t falling for it but I know it’s not easy for her to have to listen to. I struggle with how to explain why I can’t take her to do certain things because her mom wants to do them with her first etc  


Thanks for reading. And if it’s choppy I apologize I’m on my phone. 


MoominMama's picture

BM needs to watch out. Your SD seems quite savvy and is well aware of what's going on. She just might decide she wants to live with you guys. 

justmakingthebest's picture

It is always amazing to hear when a Skid sees the BS that going on around them. All you can do is ignore her. 

Also, just for you and your DH's sakes... BM doesn't need to do EVERYTHING first with SD. Enjoy yourselves and your life! Don't let her control what you do! 

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

You have to ignore the wh0re. Be sickly sweet, and just do everything in your power to to stay above that mess. Doesn't matter what she says. You live your life the way you choose. If she has any complaints she can suck it the fork up and keep her nose in her own business.

SD is not her business while with you as long as she is cared for FYI. She doesn't control your household (unless you're letting her drink and smoke underage I guess. lol)

Glad your SD thinks the BS is dumb.

Step-girlfriend's picture

We are in the exact same situation. BM sends hateful messages, and tells skids terrible things about us that she has completely made up. SD9 (also a smart, sweet girl) tells us things she says, and within the past year, SD's tone about all of it has changed. As in, she is incredulous about things BM is telling her, and knows it's crap. She is often frustrated by BM lately, although of course she still loves her unconditionally. When SD tells me how BM hates me, hates my SO's family, hates her teachers, hates everyone, I just tell her "I don't want you to hate so much, let's find the positive things in people and try to like them". This is the convo I have to repeatedly have with her when BM fills her head with hate- I tell her to love people instead. She is learning on her own the way BM is. It just sucks it has to be that way.

Shannon Dorine's picture

I'm going through the exact same issue with the birth mom saying there HER kids but she lives in Montana and we live in arizonia. I'd love to have someone to talk to about this if you have any answers. 


It's like the birth moms want you to just live your own life seperate from the kids BUT if you ignore the kids she is mad about that too.