Wondering What you think...

So my cousin, who's a cop..and should have great radar...but doesn't... is dating this guy. He's fairly new... I think they've been dating 2 months. His ex-wife (well not actually ex wife yet) and son moved far away... he flew in a few days ago to see his son, and because the airport is 12 hours away from where they are (kid and ex) they have decided to meet in the middle at a remote cabin his parents own. They will be staying there together for a week. My cousin keeps asking me if I think they'll "DO" anything...and my answer is "uhm YES I do"...remote cabin, not yet divorced, a few drinks and reminiscing about their 3 year old?... sounds like a recipie for a bit of "DOING" if you catch my drift... but then I thought..perhaps I'm being negative and telling her that I thinks something will happen is not fair... so what do YOU think would happen? Keep in mind the exwife calls him all the time asking "Why did you leave me?", "My life is ruined"... ok shoot.. I'm interested to hear it...

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I hope she's not serious

I hope she's not serious about him.

I think if she's not serious and it's not an 'exclusive'relationship that she has with him then there's not much she can or should do.

If, however, they are supposed to be exclusive then, if she wants to avoid tons of unhappiness in the future she needs to explain to him exactly what the word 'separated' means. It means separate. It does not include spending a week together anywhere, particularly not remote cabins.

I would advise your friend to back off from this guy because he has not yet really separated from his wife.

My thoughts, she will most

My thoughts, she will most certainly try something especially given that she is not yet over him. Now whether he will do anything in return, I don't know. But as you said, being in close quarters like that, and maybe mixing in a little alcohol (hopefully not too much since they're isolated with a child) could be a recipe for disaster.

Ridiculous! I would run for

Ridiculous! I would run for the hills!

I agree with others. I'd tell

I agree with others. I'd tell this guy "call me when you are divorced."

I'd add, call me when you

I'd add, call me when you have been divorced at least two years...common sense has flown out the window! lol

Amen to that sista! Call when

Amen to that sista! Call when the divorce has been final for at least two years!

Thanks ladies... I totally

Thanks ladies... I totally agree too...She is 'exclusive' with this guy... but I told her to stop wasting her time.. it's met with "he's so nice", "he's hot", blah blah blah... I said to her..how can you be so friggen niave?? She's not great in the relationship dept though...so that is probably why.

I'm going to share with her your responses so she see's I'm not just picking on her!

Well, will she have access to

Well, will she have access to him during the week? Can she call him? Will he be calling her? What if she offered to drive up halfway through to spend a day or two with him? What would his reaction be if she suggested that? If she hasn't met the child yet then she could suggest that halfway through they meet halfway and spend a night together.

Does the BM know about the girlfriend?

He's 'texting' her...that's

He's 'texting' her...that's really it. She can't drive half way he's 3 hours away by plane from where my cousin is, and I bet any money if she suggested it (even if it was possible) he would say no...because really..A remote cabin with ex, him, and kid... he'd probably be worried about how the ex would feel. She has met the child, he spent a few weeks with them this summer...he's too young (just turned 3) to really understand the 'girlfriend' concept... but he thinks my cousin makes a great playmate..

You know.. I have no idea if BM knows about my cousin...

I just think if it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it's a duck you know?

I do know that during one of the weeks that his son was visiting him, by cousin took his son to the park where a kid on a swing kicked him in the head (by accident, whilst swinging)...my cousin took him home..but he had a big gash on his nose and it was bleeding, plus a black eye. My cousin was crying because she loves kids...and really thinks this little guy is a cutie...but when she got to her BF's house he asked her to leave because he couldn't deal with her. He called her later and apologized, said he was just upset about seeing his son that way. In my opinion it's a sign that this guy is a bit of an a-hole.

Oh my yes. They will "do

Oh my yes. They will "do it".

Of course something will

Of course something will happen. Give me a break!

But, you can probably tell your friend under no uncertain terms to wake up but she has to figure it out on her own.

This man is definitely not

This man is definitely not over that woman…

When DH first left Mother Russia (this was before we were together but before they were officially divorced) he had to move a few states away for work but he would drive up every weekend to see his boys, know what he did..? He would have her bring them to a public location for the exchange (not go to their old house together) and take the boys to a nice hotel for the weekend… they’d swim, have nice dinners, it was like a mini-vacation for them every weakened. He got to see his kids… and never once gave that woman an iota of hope that there still may be “something still there” between the two of them.

He said she would always show up with the hair done… the new outfit… but he was the MASTER of keeping proper distance between them while remaining polite for the kid’s sake. There was no chance for any emotional confusion… know why? HE wasn’t confused!!!! It was over. He was just waiting for the paperwork to go through.

This “family” weekend at the cabin is an emotional disaster waiting to happen… for everyone involved. That man is still weighing his options while getting his physical and emotional needs met by two different women. I was going to advise your cousin to give him a pretty strong ultimatum, but really thinking about it if it were me… I’d walk before it got any worse. Nothing but trouble in my opinion.