You are here

I'll be violating the court's that psycho, bitter BM part of me coming out!

hangingbyathread6's picture

Well exH is pushing my hand in the "the kids shouldn't be in that environment and at your home when you aren't there" situation we have going on (see previous blogs).

Yesterday afternoon he said "Girlfriend will be there! They will stay at my house" and sped off while I was saying that isn't good enough. So I tried to call him. He didn't pick up. I left a voicemail stating we really need to discuss this like adults. That although his girlfriend will be there, she herself admitted to me in text message that she has no control over that child and she has given up and is waiting for her to age out. That her discipline for being underage and smoking marijuana in the house and when our kids would be there was to 'rip her a new one for being so stupid' and that was not enough of a solution in my eyes. That if he did not contact me by the evening I would be calling the FOC office and doing what I need to do, even if that means getting a temporary order saying the kids don't go there until we get in front of a judge. He never called.

So I called FOC and spoke to our worker this morning. Explained that he was not being agreeable regarding the situation as I had expected would happen. She said she was sorry to hear that, she thought he would do the right thing. That since it is so close to the weekend and we can only see a judge from another county my options were limited. She said send him an email, cc it to me stating the entire situation and your feelings about it, and the proposed solution. That you aren't keeping him from the kids if he is there but if he is not it is reasonable to have them come home. If he doesn't oblige, she herself told me to have the older kids call me when he leaves for work, to go and pick them up and violate the court order. He would have to call the police to enforce it, he would be at work anyway so they most likely won't take the kids, that he could file a complaint stating I'm violating the custody order and then we would be in front of a judge to state my reasons why. That if over the course of the weekend this does occur to give the police her name and they have her number and she will talk to them also. That this will work temporarily until I get a motion filed and get in front of the judge.

So that's exactly what I am going to do. I sent the email. Waiting for his response. And if not I will violate the order. The very worst they would do to me once in front of a judge is jail time or a fine, however I would get to state the reasons why I withheld visitation and she feels no judge would disagree with me. She also stated that her office and the court system are well acquainted with the girlfriend and delinquent daughter.

So...guess it means it's going to be a drama filled weekend, unless he steps up and does the right thing and considers the best interest of his children.


princessmofo's picture

^^^This^^^ And how dumb is he really? Does he want to expose his kids to that juvenile delinquent? He's clearly thinking with the wrong head...

Gabriels Mom's picture

If you find an answer to that question please let me know. BM works overnight and sees SS13 every 3-4 weeks. BUT he's at her house with her DH 50% of the time.

hangingbyathread6's picture

I think his reason for wanting them there is because he doesn't want to lose "overnights" which may cause his CS to increase. PUHLEEZE...I had no intention of having the CS recalculated because I don't want my kids around drug use. If it became something where he does not address the situation and continues to give up almost his whole weekend of visitation then maybe we will revisit the issue if he continues to act like a douchebag. I take the money and put it away for the kids.

hangingbyathread6's picture

I'm going to remember that!! Hopefully it works!!

Although I am feeling perfectly justified in this situation. It is infuriating however that he doesn't get it and is only thinking of himself

bearcub25's picture

They would still go after the adults that allowed the pot smoking in the home. They could file charges against the adults, which would cause the adults to lose custody/visitation with the kids...all the kids of Dad and GF.

hangingbyathread6's picture

I don't know about that LadyFace. When I was making my statement to the police, the officer said CPS would most likely get involved. And that it was a good thing I took the kids from the home, because if I had left them there knowing the other minors were smoking pot in the house, I could be charged with neglect and it wasn't even my house...I would have just knowingly been putting my kids in that situation.

Sports Fan's picture

Even then they usually just let it go. I drive by a high school every morning. There is a small conveniences store/gas station across the street from the school. A lot of the teenagers hang out by that store every morning smoking and I'm not just talking cigarettes but marijuana too. I've seen it when I've stopped there to get something myself. There is at least one cop car parked in the lot of the store every morning. They don't do anything about the underage smoking or the pot. They are watching the cars and making sure they stop for the kids crossing the road.

CPS might be different but most cops look the other way. Other things to worry about.