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i need to know if you guys think we are asking for to much...court is next Friday

hammesamie's picture

We have been to court so many times we can not afford an attorney so we went through the current order and changed it to how we would like to have it, tell me if I am missing anything or if we are asking for to much or if you can not understand something

IT IS THEREFORE ORDERED, ADJUDGED AND DECREED:

A. Petitioner shall be entitled to the following
visitation:
1. At anytime both parties agree;
2. Alternating Weekends: The Petitioner shall have
alternating weekend visitation from Friday at 5:30P.M.
until Sunday at 5:30 P.M. Both parties will meet at
a designated drop off location in Burlington, IA.
The alternating weekend
schedule shall be calculated from the weekend of
and each alternating weekend thereafter. In the event
that there is no school on Friday or Monday, the Petitioner
shall be able to get the child for an extra day. That the
Petitioner may remove the child to his home in Iowa
for visitation but shall return the child to his
mother at a mutual location agreed by the parents in
Burlington, IA . IN the event that the Respondant is unable to
pick up/drop off the child due to an emergency situation, her father, Dave Williams, or a family member can substitute to do so. In the event the Petitioner is unable to pick up/drop off due to an emergency situation, his wife, Amie Davis, or other family member can be the substitute.

3. Alternating Holidays:
In even numbered years the Petitioner shall have the
minor children on New Years Day, Memorial Day, and
Labor Day. The Respondent shall have the minor
children on Easter, July 4th, Thanksgiving, and
Christmas.
In odd numbered years the Petitioner shall have the
minor children on Easter, July 4th, Thanksgiving, and
Christmas. The Respondent shall have the minor
children on New Years Day, Memorial Day, and Labor
Day.
4. Thanksgiving
The Petitioner shall have the child with him every odd
Thanksgiving beginning on the Wednesday night before
Thanksgiving at 5:30 pm until Sunday at 5:30 pm. The
Respondant shall have the child with her for the
Thanksgiving weekend on even years.
5. Christmas:
The Petitioner shall have the child with him every
odd December 22nd at 5:30 P.M. until December 26th at
5:30 P.M. In even years the Respondant shall have the
child with her until December 26th at 5:30pm. In even
years the Petitioner shall have the child with him
every December 26th at 5:30 pm until the day before
the child is to return to school at 5:30 pm. In odd
years, the Respondant shall have the child with her
from 5:30 pm on December 26th until the following
visitation weekend.

6. Mother's Day/Father's Day: The Respondent shall
have the child on Mother's Day weekend. If Mother's
Day weekend falls on the normal visitation weekend for
the Petitioner, then the mother shall have the full
Mother’s Day weekend and the parties shall exchange
visitation weekends so the Petitioner shall have the
weekend immediately following Mother's Day weekend.
The Petitioner shall have the child on Father's Day
weekend. If Father's Day weekend falls on the normal
visitation weekend for the Respondent, then the father
shall have the full Father’s Day weekend and the
parties shall exchange visitation weekends so the
Respondent shall have the weekend immediately
following Father's Day weekend.

7.Spring Break: The Petitioner shall have the child
with him for Spring Break from school every even year,
and the Respondant shall have the childwith her during Spring
Break in odd years. The Respondant shall also have the child for the
weekend in the event that it is his designated weekend.

8. Fourth of July: For the Fourth of July on odd years the Petitioner shall have the child with him. In the event that the 4th of July follows the Petitioners visitation weekend, he shall keep the child until the 5th and then return him. In the even that it falls before his weekend, he shall get the child on the evening of the 3rd and then return him on the Sunday following. In even years, if the 4th of July falls on the Petitioners weekend, then the Petitioner is allowed to have the child with him for 2 extra days during his July summer visit.

9.. Summer Visitation: The Petitioner shall have summer
visitation with the child for five weeks each summer
beginning in the summer of 2008. Unless the parties
agree in writing prior to June 1st each year, the
Petitioner shall have summer visitation during the
second and third full weeks of June, the second and
third full weeks in July and the second full week of
August. The weeks are calculated from Friday to Friday.

8. In Case of Sickness or weather: If the weather does not
permit safe traveling or the child is ill with a fever and visitatation
needs to be cancelled, the Respondant will be allowed to chose the
following weekend to compensate for the visitation lost.
9. Medical Insurance: The Respondant shall cover the child on medical
insurance at all times. The Petitioner shall also cover the child on her insurance.
Both parties shall be responsible for 50% of the remaining bill.
The Petitioner shall agree to take the child to a facilility that is covered under
the Respondants PPO coverage. In the case that the Petitioner takes the child to a facility that is not covered under that plan she then would be responsible for that bill in full. If the Respondant takes the child to a provider not listed, then he is responsible for the bill in full.

D. The parents shall at no time use drugs or
alcohol around the minor child, or allow anyone
else to do so in the childs presence. The parents shall not
use corporal punishment on the minor child nor allow
anyone else to do so.
E. Rules Of Conduct: That the following terms
shall apply to both parties with respect to their
conduct and relationship with one another and the
child:
1. Each party shall have access to all of the child’s
school and medical records and may communicate with
teachers and health care providers concerning the
child.
2. The Respondant shall provide the Petitioner with
copies of the school calendar, grade reports, and
important notices concerning the child, along with
notification of any parent-teacher conferences, pictures
or other school or social events.
3. The each party shall promptly inform the other of
any serious illnesses or injuries suffered by the
child.
4. Each party shall keep the other informed of his or
her home and work addresses and telephone numbers,
pager and cellular numbers and any other telephone
numbers at which they may be contacted.
5. Neither party shall refer to the other in less than
laudatory terms in the presence of the child.
6. Neither party shall discuss issues of child support
or visitation with the child.
7. Each party shall use his or her best efforts to
foster and encourage a positive and loving
relationship between the child and the other parent
and step-parents.
8. Either party may remove the minor child from the
State of Illinois for visitation, trips, or vacation
purposes without further leave of the Court or consent
of the other party, provided that the party intending
to remove the child shall give the other parent
reasonable notice of his or her intention to do so,
and shall supply the other party with information
regarding the contemplated period of time outside the
state, the address and telephone number where they
will be located, and shall permit reasonable telephone
communication between the child and the parent who is
not with the child. The party intending to remove the
child shall also provide the other parent with a date
on which the child shall return to the State of
Illinois.
ENTERED this _____ day of _________________________,

Comments

Rae's picture

One thing you might want to do is try and map out the visitation schedule week by week, month by month for the next two years..include times for the exchanges, and see how your schedule works out, and if there are any glitches. If you get it all printed out neatly on calendars (we printed them out from MS Office I think it was), you may even be able to use it for the next two years, and there will be no misunderstandings. Years ago, I was in a long term relationship with a guy with a young child, and we ended up having to do this because the BM would screw up or misinterpret something almost every month even though it seemed at first like it was a pretty clear schedule. We ended up providing calendars a year in advance and both parents had to agree to them...or off they went to mediation. It was a pain, but it saved a lot of heartache week to week...and the number of days were no longer screwed up by BM.

kathleen's picture

If you don't ask you certainly won't get. One thing jumped out at me. Maybe you have your reasons, but you said no alcohol. That seemed difficult. What if you went to a party, or you wanted to have one glass of wine with dinner. It could be used against you. Just a thought.

shandee's picture

Drugs are one thing,but drinking alcohol is not illegal. And honestly if you are that worried about it , ask for drug and alcohol testing, if there have been dui charges or any other type substance abuse charges you have every right to ask for that. The bad thing about asking for it never to be used around the child, is what if the child gets mad and wrongly accuses one side or the other. The only way you are going to know what is going on at the other parents house is what the child says right? And even if you hear it from someone else, its just that hearsay. Ask for random testing but be ready for it yourself!!! Even if you aren't doning anything its typical to get accused of things right back.

hammesamie's picture

that was beacause the old order said the FATHER could not use alcohol yet she was geting drunk all the time
****The best exercise is walking down the aisle****

shandee's picture

How did that get in there? I thought the same was to apply for both parents

Rae's picture

I thought the same thing Kathleen...or what if you were at a picnic, the ocean, the lake, a concert...there are all kinds of situations where people around your kids might be drinking even if you don't, and it can be really difficult to moniter and police.

southernshellgirl's picture

but we were told here in Texas that when we made our own agrement it had to be specific as to which weeks of the month would be the weekend periods of possession. For example, ours reads, "Shall have possession of the child begining at 6PM on the first, third, and fifth Thursday of each month, and ending at 10AM the following Monday.
The way it was explained to us was that may be the only way to prove that a weekend belongs to you. They told us alternating weeks was not specific enough to prove it to to the courts or a peace officer if you are denied your visitation time. Just a thought.

I also got kinda confused at petitoner and respondant. I think they are kinda interchanged in a few places there. sometimes petitioner is "him" and others "her". Just wanted to point that out.

Also I think you did a great job! It is obvious you have really done your homework. I wish you the best of luck. DH and I are really considering getting rid of our attny too. We had a judge that was pretty nice to us before we had an attorney. I think sometimes they appreciate the people who really know that what they are trying to do is for the kids, and how brave you must be to go it without a hot shot attny getting in the middle. Smile Hang in there!

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and I---
I took the one less traveled by,
and that made all the difference. -Robert Frost-

CplStv's picture

The only serious rewording I'd suggest is to change "5. Neither party shall refer to the other in less than
laudatory terms" to Neither Party shall refer to any other Step/Parental Figure with any deragatory term. Or something close to it, the way it's worded, means Each has to Praise the Other, at all times, They are refered to...

The other change I would suggest, is rather than
"D. The parents shall at no time use drugs or alcohol around the minor child, or allow anyone else to do so in the childs presence."

To something more like " The Parents, Their Guests, etc. shall not Use Alchohol to excess, or any type of Recreational Drugs, in the presence of, or at any time that the child would be exposed to the effects of said intoxicating substance. "
To still allow You, and/or Your Guests/Family/etc. to enjoy drinks, without You being responsible for people that aren't, like at a public event.(Game, Concert, etc.)

Steve

Kids are the Best and Worst Things We can do to Ourselves. When We have nothing else worth living for, We'll go on, for Them, but Oh How We Miss Our Freedom...LOL

hammesamie's picture

thank you guys so much for your help on this, is there anything else you think I should add to the order?

****The best exercise is walking down the aisle****