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UPDATE: Court Obliteration: here's the CO (Right of First Refusal?)

Madam Hedgehog's picture

Thanks again for all your responses. You are really helping us think this through. We have about 9 days until they cut the first chunk out of DH's check and we're already in the red zone financially.

Here is the EXACT WORDING of the CO. I'd really appreciate it if anyone could chime in to help us interpret this. If you don't have much time to read, please just read the RIGHT OF FIRST REFUSAL section and let me know what you think.

In the event the party exercising care and control over the minor children in unavailable to provide such care for a period of time of four (4) hours or more or anytime for an overnight period of time, then said party shall contact the other party and allow the other party the first right to provide the care for the minor children until the other party is able to do so.
(new paragraph)
Respondent shall provide child care on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and he shall be responsible for any back up child care needed during these times. Respondent shall pick-up the minor children on these days at Petitioner's residence at 7:00AM and Petitioner shall pick-up the minor children on these days on or before 4:30PM (445 in BM time).

Alright, if these time periods are considered Right of First Refusal (which the judge previously argued), shouldn't he be able to refuse? How can he be ORDERED to take them for Right of First Refusal Time?

On the other hand, if these times are considered "child care" shouldn't he be able to charge her? How can they ask him to pay her for times that WE are taking care of the kids?

Additionally, the term "child care" comes basically out of nowhere in the CO. Can they actually order a FATHER to be a babysitter who pays BM for the time that he takes care of his own kids?

Note: these are the only custody terms that are defined in the document.

Physical Custody:
Petitioner is hereby awarded primary periods of responsibility ("physical custody") of the minor children subject to second periods of responsibility ("visitation") being awarded to Respondent (DH).

Thanks everyone.

PS - we actually have to pick them up at 630AM because BM will not feed them, brush their teeth, pack SS5's lunch, or do his hair in the mornings. This wouldn't be a problem except that DH is the one who drops SS5 off at school, and therefore any signs of neglect would come back on DH rather than BM.


Madam Hedgehog's picture

That makes sense. So, if he doesn't want to take care of them during that time period, she has to take them to daycare (or wherever) and he gets to deal with half the child care bill.


cant win for losin's picture

My interpretation:
I dealt with first right of refusal. The first paragragh is defining what FROR is.
If she needs childcare/babysitter (doesnt matter what the reason) for 4 hours or more, or overnight she has to ask you dh first. He can refuse.

The second paragragh is his child care and expenses.
He has them mon, wed, fri. 7-4:30. He is responsible to watch them. And if he doesnt watch them, then he needs to figure out the "back up" plan AND pay if it costs.

He agreed in court that HE could provide the care during these times. The court says, "hey he agreed to providing daycare during these times, so he has to pay the daycare if he cant do it himself"
It like its counted as parenting time, just not credited as parenting time.
Does that make sense what i am saying?

cant win for losin's picture

So, he can refuse outside of mon, wed, fri 7-4:30 and not be responsible for those childcare bills.

Ex: she calls tuesday morning at 10. Watch the kid? He says no. She takes to daycare. Her bill for that day.

Hope i helped

Madam Hedgehog's picture

That's what I'd like, but so far they have been demanding him to pay for her days as well.

cant win for losin's picture

Who has been demanding? And i read your other comment about it is a state law he has to pay her daycare bills?! What state?

cant win for losin's picture

Yes, he has to ask bm if she wants them. If he cant watch them during those listed hours, he has to offer her first and if she says no then he has to find and pay for the day care. Just like she would have to do on tues thurs sat and sun.

Child support is based on overnites, as well as other stuff. That is why i sumed it as
Parenting time without parenting credit.
Whenbyou think in terms of parenting time, then yes you should pay for your own daycare.

And dont misinterpret me, i think the men get hosed financially quite often. Im only offering my interpretation on this CO, not my personal opinion. Smile

Madam Hedgehog's picture

yeah. Dh said he had his legal counsel read it and the guy said it was fine, but now it doesn't make any sense and DH is getting shafted.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

That's how I read it to, but they have been making him pay half of her child care costs as well, and his legal counsel says it's a state law that he won't be able to get around. So I don't get it.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

yep. it is BS and we are going back to court for the 8th time. Yes. 8th. :jawdrop: