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Sh*tty birthday gifts Beaver edition...

halo1998's picture

Beaver is notorious for her sh*tty gift giving.  Lets see...

DH when married to her got a food dehydrator for christmas...he didn't ask for one and doesn't eat dehydrated food.

DH also go a boat load of sweaters from Beaver for Christmas..he wears shorts in the middle of winter...sweaters are NEVER part of his attire.  Not even when we go sledding or skiing.

SD has gotten over the years.

A typewriter that doesn't work

A sled to share with her brother..that was her ONLY christmas gift.

A difusser blow dryer...SD has poker straight hair.

This year...Beaver got SD for her birthday....A stun gun and  pepper spray.  SD is 17.....doesn't drive a car yet and doesn't really go anywhere.  SD also doesn't carry a purse or anything so not sure what she would even put these into to carry.


Also to note..the state we are in considers both to be deadly weapons and a minor cannot posses them.  They are also illegal to take to school....

I swear..I cannot make this stuff up.  Oh and what SD asked for was a pair of shoes got translated into stun gun and pepper spray not sure.


IDontCare3117's picture

Wait, wait, wait!  I think I can figure this one out.

Shoes = being able to run away from a threat.  If SD had pepper spray and a stun, she could use those on the threat, and not need to run away.  Ergo, SD doesn't need shoes!!!

I can't believe you don't see the connection, halo.

StepUltimate's picture

I figure the stun gun was a re-gift.


ndc's picture

I assume Beaver does not provide gift receipts to facilitate the return of her shitty gifts.  Because she probably doesn't have them,  lol.

Survivingstephell's picture

We always wait for the skids to turn on their BM. Now she has weapons to use.  Cool.  Lol. Eyeroll.  

thinkthrice's picture

Food dehydrator (you better dry some food 'cause I'm not cooking)

Regifted sweaters ( why don't you move to the south pole?)

Broken typewriter (you'd better not write a "Mommy Dearest" tell all)

Sled (maybe someone will take them both home and adopt them when I drop then off at the hill then take off.) Bonus: maybe they'll cart in the shopping.

Diffuser blow dryer (obviously for Beaver to use)

Stun gun/pepper spray (to be used against halo and her DH)




JRI's picture

Hey, guys, let's give BM some credit.  At least she BUYS the gifts.  My SD steals mine.

halo1998's picture

because Beaver will "borrow" it from her.  Borrow as in take and never to be seen again.

AlmostGone834's picture

Little Idiot got a used camera that didn't work one year too from The Skunk Ape. Of course then DH feels double the guilt and we have to shell out more to make up for it... hmmm I wonder if it's a plot.

NieMojCyrk's picture

Beaver at least "buys" gifts lol. My husband's ex never gave any gifts to him. My husband had no idea there was such thing as getting a gift. When he met me for first time in his life he got gifts for birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries. This is also how she raised her son - there is never "Happy Father's Day", never "Merry Christmas", never "Happy birthday" from him to my husband. If he ever gets a partner, which I highly doubt, god help that person.

Oh, and also, she's too cheap to buy gifts for her son as well and he was raised to believe that this is a waste of money.

halo1998's picture

but they were all things she wanted.  Dehydrator, crockpot, dishes, etc.

The_Upgrade's picture

Was Beaver always this.....beavery? Or did it get worse with time? Just can't imagine a guy would have a kid then come back for seconds with someone nuttier than squirrel shit. 

halo1998's picture

at least she has been for the last 15 years.  SD was unfortunately an "accident" as was GWR.  I suspect that GWR aka SS was a bid to keep DH ..since he was getting ready to divorce Beaver after a year of marriage.  Surprise..she ended up pregnant.   The same was with SD..they weren't trying for a kid but poof there were as SD.  DH ended up filing for divorce when SD was a year old..he filed 5 days after SD's first birthday.  DH couldn't take it any longer...

thinkthrice's picture

The script the Girhippo used.   They both knew it wasn't working after OSS was born but kept "trying" anyway and produced two more kids!  

Rumplestiltskin's picture

BM2 here is like that. What i've figured out is that she is regifting things she got from others. Like giving her son a gift card to a Breastaurant. 

thinkthrice's picture

"Like giving her son a gift card to a Breastaurant. "