A Beaver Chronicle...Christmas Edition..bonus starring The Village Idiot (my ex)
As part of my holiday Beaver update....Beaver asked the kids what they wanted for Christmas but didn't buy them any of that. Ok..I get sometimes money is tight..but why ask if your not going to get anything for them.
DH however was not suprised....Beaver is apparently nortorious for her crappy gift giving. I had to laugh as my ex..the Village Idiot is also the worst at gift giving.
Lets start with the Village Idiot...my gifts from him included..
A bicycle at 7+,months pregnant because and I quote "you are looking a litte big so I think you need to ride this bike to get some exercise." Since I am short of stature....at 7+ months pregnant I am about as wide as I am tall. There is NO where for a baby to go but out. I did not get on that sucker until 2 years later...not to mention it was too big for me to ride.
For my birthday one year..I got hoses and sprinklers for the yard. "I quote..well you wanted a sprinkler system so I figured you can go out and put the hoses and sprinklers out and move them during the day." WTF....how would I do that..I worked full time and not from home. I promptly called the sprinkler company and automatic sprinklers installed.
Beaver however is whole nother ball game with presents..
These were DH's presents during their marriage...
1st christmas a food dehydrator...DH never ever ever expressed the opinion that he wanted to dehydrate food. Beaver on the other hand had this on her Christmas list to DH. She essentially bought DH the gift that she wanted.
2nd christmas...she bought him about 8 sweaters. DH never ever ever...not even when its below 0 outside wears sweaters. Right now its about 35 degress F here and he is upstairs in shorts and t-shirt. The guy is walking heater. Beaver ended up wearing the sweaters..she is/was big enough to wears men's sweaters. Again...Dh thinks she wanted the sweaters and just feigned giving them to him.
3rd Christmas...he got an assortment of pampered chef cooking tools. DH does not cook...not even to grill. He didn't cook then...didn't want to cook....Beaver, however, has never met a MLM company that she didn't like..so she bought this stuff for herself.
4th Christmas....Dh got an assorment of party games. Eh...not something he would have asked for at least they weren't totally useless. Although after DH beat Beaver at most of them..she wouldn't play anymore.
5th Christmas...he got nothing. But Beaver bought herself a diamond necklace.
6th Christmas...Dh can't remember so it couldn't have been that good.
That was the last Christmas...
Lets move to the kids.
One year the kids got from Santa...a sled..that is it. A sled...the share. In 10 years..they have never went sledding..not once.
SD got a typewriter one year..that didn't work.
SD has gotten clothes from Beaver for Christmas that didn't fit her but magically fit Beaver. (for reference...SD is about a size 8 to 10..Beaver is easily a size 22-24)
SD got a diamond necklace last year that Beaver "took for safe keeping" and that Beaver now wears.
Same goes for the footbath that magically ended up in Beavers room and that she uses.
So..I guess the theme for Beaver's gift buying is your gift is my gift.