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B*ver has boarded the crazy train.

halo1998's picture

All aboard...the crazy train has left the station.  I mean I think she has bought a lifetime ticket to ride.

Highlights from yesterdays conversation with SD..

1.  Beaver tells the kids we stalk her all the time.  We drive by her house everyday and drive by her work everyday al well.

2.  We spy on her at her house using the camera on SD's ipad/iphone.  We log into the camera and listen in to her conversations.

3.  We have installed apps on her iphone/ipad to track not only SD but Beaver as well. 

4.  Beaver has a restraining order against me and I can't come with in 20 feet of her.  

5.  Dh text messages her all the time asking to come back to her.

6.  That when the kids were little, I would bring over my two kids to her house when I was fighting with DH.  Even SD said..that makes no sense whatsoever.

7.  If DH is a few minutes early to pick up SD from Beaver's on the rare occasion he has too..Beaver will not let her leave until it is the exact time.  SD admitted this one was stupid and annoying because all they do is sit there in silence waiting for the minutes to go by.

8.  Sd is not allowed to take pictures are Beavers because we might see the house.

9.  Beaver tells the kids she will beat me up the next time I talk to her.

10. Beaver will break her ipad/iphone because DH bought those for her.  Then DH will have to replace them. 

Ok...so we had to break this down for SD.

1.  No we do not stalk your mother.  Outside of how it relates to you SD...Dh does not contact your mother.   Halo has never in 13 years contacted your mother.  We do not drive by your mom's house.  Halo drives out that way once every 5 weeks on a major road to get to her hair dresser.  When doing that she in Halo's mom's car and has Halo's mom and Halos DD in the car with her.  I do not drive by your mother's unless I am picking you up.  Halo drives a BIG Suv with personalized license plates.  I drive a car with personalized license plates and both Halo's DD and DS have personalized plates.  If we were stalking your mother, why didn't she call the police and give them our plate numbers.  The police would visit us and tell us to stop.  None of that has happened.

2.  HOw in the hell can we spy on your mom using your ipad/iphone camera.  WE don't even know if that is possible.  Again, SD unless it pertains to you..WE DO NOT care what your mom does.  And if she is so paranoid about it....what is she hiding?  We have nothing to hide so we do not care if she takes pictures, videos at our house. Go for it..

3.  There are no apps installed on your ipad/iphone to track your or your mother.  You have not given us any reason to put any apps like that on your phone and voluntarily will give it to us when we want to check your usage.  

4.  There is no restraining order against Halo.  If there was Halo would have been notfied and Halo does not and has never interacted with your mother.  So how could your mother get a restraining order against her?  Also, if she did have a restraining order why has she not called the police to have Halo arrested if Halo is stalking her?  Next time your mother says that, ask to see the restraining order.  WE bet she will not be able to show it since it doesn't exist.

5.  Sd I do not text your mother to get back together.  I am happily married to Halo and have been for over 10 years.  Again, the next time your mother tells you this, ask to see proof. I text your mother only things regarding you and even then only when its absolutely necessary. Otherwise I use Our Family Wizard to communicate.  If you have any questions on what I have sent your mother, please just ask.  I have nothing to hide.

6.  Halo has not now or ever been to your mother's house, either alone or with DD/DS.  You may ask Halo's DD and DS and they will tell you the same.  We encourge you to ask Halo's DD and DS so that you may hear the truth yourself.  The only time Halo's DD and DS were at your mother's house was when they went there with Halo's DD and DS's father.

7.  SD having to wait for a few minutes is petty and ridiculous.  We do not make you wait when your mother is a few minutes early.  In the grand scheme of things a few minutes is just a drop in the bucket.  We will never do that to you.

8.  SD what is your mother trying to hide if she doesn't want pictures taken?  We have nothing to hide so snap away here.  Our only rule is no nudity of anyone and no pictures while you are using the bathroom to shower, etc.  Other than that...WE DO NOT CARE. Again..we have nothing to hide.  We also do not care about your mother's house.

9.  SD since Halo does not ever approach your mother in a public setting with me and your nor does she contact your mother outside events for you, how will this possible?  Plus, why would your mother want to? Halo has done nothing to her.  SD if your mother was to lay a hand on Halo that is assult and would be a crime. 

10.  SD those are your possessions.  That would a crime to destroy your property.  Why would your mother threaten to destroy your property??  What would that solve?   We are sorry you have to fear that your possessions will be destroyed because they were boughten by your father.  Your mother is free to buy you those items if she wishes.

There is so much more...but this was the highlights. 

SD did admit alot of what Beaver tells her seems to be crazy.  SD also asked why her mother was so immature and why can"t she just move on already.

 

Comments

tog redux's picture

BM here used to go on alienation sprees like this, too, when triggered by something. Did you guys call CPS? That would do it.

BM here used to also not let SS leave early, and brought up in court that DH was 2 minutes late - in a blizzard. She also told SS that one time, I wanted to get out of the car at a pick-up to come see their dog, but DH pulled me back in. What? I wouldn't go near that loon for any dog. 

OKtoStep's picture

DD comes home with almost verbatim stories from Brutal Ex. It's absolutely bizarre. How do we mitigate this craziness and lessen its impact on the kids? 
 

BE's craziness has included:

1. If DD brings anything to my home, I will keep it forever. I simply reminded her that this is her home too and it would still be her possession that she can use. 
 

2. If I got the dogs in the divorce, I would poison them. Had a chat with DD that I was the one who took care of them and trained them all through the marriage. Why would I kill my puppers now? 
 

3. I told BE that I was going to throw away DD's favoritest stuffed animal best buddy in the whole wide world and into the next life ride or die. That was the camel that shattered the rose colored glasses. DD was P*SSED when he told her that because she recognized it for the lie that it is. 
 

4. The iPad is "evil" because I put spyware on it and she's no longer allowed to use it. This was a tough one to field because DD was just starting to realize that BE's rules and reasoning aren't based in logic or reality. She worked out by herself that the iPad was removed so she couldn't communicate with me.

tog redux's picture

SS wanted to bring his dog to our house when he was younger and BM told him that DH "hated" dogs and "loathed" her, so it wouldn't be safe. Meanwhile, we had two dogs that SS had seen DH play with and knew he liked our dogs.

Later, when SS was 18, he was home alone to "watch the dog" and so brought her over to our house for the day. Our dogs had a blast playing together in the backyard. BM freaked out and told SS he could never do that again!  So crazy.

halo1998's picture

that SD claims she has been doing for several years.  

I really did have a restraining order against DD and DS's dad the VI.  However, I never told the kids that.  I had a hard time getting one and had to prove that he threatened my life.

tog redux's picture

Yeah, Beaver is pissed. BM here did the same thing, she'd just vomit alienation poison all over SS when she was angry at DH.

OKtoStep's picture

Why do they do this to the kids? Why make the kids feel terrible because they are mad at the other parent? These people are, for the most part, functional adults who have learned the rules that make our society cohesive. What is going on in their head that they torture the kids? 

I absolutely ache for my baby girl that she is going through this and I can't shield her from it. It's so excruciatingly disappointing that she won't have a happy, healthy relationship with her dad. I worry too that this is going to skew  her worldview about men in general. Mama is stable and emotionally affectionate, papa is a landmine of lies and unpredictable behavior.

tog redux's picture

For one thing, they see the children as an emotional support to them - and they also know that turning the child against the other parent is the most hurt they can cause their ex.  So if he is angry at you, what better way to get back at you then to get your child to hate you as well?

halo1998's picture

its a 0 sum game...no one wins.  But..yep..they want to win at all costs....even if it means their kids suffer.

DH is cautious to say the very least.  He has no rose colored glasses on ....he knows that Beaver will try and "buy" off SD and that it could very well work.   His motto at this point is ..I will put in my best effort, if SD turns to the dark side then so be it.  I will know I have done my best.

halo1998's picture

DH walked away from the GWR..didn't fight that one at all.  SD says Beaver is generally pissed all the time at everything.

I suspect dealing with GWR is not as easy as she thought and her life is nothing like she thinks she "deserves"

Zen mode's picture

My own sons dad was just as kooky. My son once asked him if he wanted to video chat while bioson was at my home, kooky ex then launches into "who DO YOU  video chat with?" Then tells him " he better not be video chatting with strangers like his MOTHER (me) did while we were married" my son was ten. I then had to explain that I was not nor have I ever video chatted or FaceTimed anyone. He also told him my home was just a house and not biosons real home and that he ( the ex) owned it since I paid from my divorce settlement. My son stopped going to see him at fifteen and only recently reconnected now that he is 18. The farther they get from them the clearer they see them. 

halo1998's picture

I own your mom's house...sure ya do buddy.  I showed the kids where I paid for it from my retirement money and that I received NO child support whatsoever so it was in fact ME paying for my house.  DD's remark was..ya I didn't think so.  Dad is just such a liar and drama king.

Zen mode's picture

Was yours obsessed with what you cooked for dinner? Mine would lose his mind when my son would tell him we had take out. LOL which we had often the first year post divorce. I was sick of cooking. 

halo1998's picture

but boy howdy did he have issues with the kids seeing their grandparents.  That was evil.....these are the only grandparents my kid have.  His parents are deceased and were long before I married him.

advice.only2's picture

Uhh is she on meth? These sound similar to the crazy meth addled ramblings of Meth Mouth.

Spawn was told we:
Stalked Meth Mouth and would take pictures of her.
Would follow her around in our cars.
Would call her and hang up at all hours of the day and night.
Would drive by whatever flop house she was hoeing at and stare at her sinisterly.
That DH would call her begging her to meet up so they could have a "hook up"
When Spawn told us all of this I was so shocked, because all of the these were things Meth Mouth was doing.

The only good thing in your case it sounds like SD14 actually respects her dad and knows her mom is a lunatic. With Spawn she was raised believing her mom was a martyr and saint and DH was this evil person never to be trusted.

halo1998's picture

she is really hitting the bottle these days. That and is she doing drugs with GWR?  

I didn't realize alcoholism can create paranoia.  I asked DH and my mom (her father was an alcoholic) and yep..both said the deeper in it they get the more paranoid they get.

Picardy III's picture

BM didn't make nearly this level of batsh!t crazy accusations, but she did hallucinate people and think she was being recorded by any and every object that looked vaguely camera-like. Diagnosed schizophrenic at one point (no known alcohol or drug use).
So maybe mental illness out of her control... but... she stopped cold-turkey with the wild tales once the kids no longer went along with them.
So I suspect these personality types only open the crazy valve when they think it'll benefit them.

advice.only2's picture

And that could explain the extreme over-reaction to the ipad debacle. I mean who hasn't been pissed off at their kid, but never enough to bite, hit, pinch and kick...yeesh! She was probably drunk...might be something to ask SD.

halo1998's picture

SD said she didn't see her drinking but who knows what was in her yeti cup.   So that is unknown.  She could have had her yeti cup full of wine and no one would know.

SD has commented in the past that her mom usually drinks a couple of bottles of wine at night.  

 

I have been down right irrate at my two..but like I told SD I would have simply made that ipad useless rather than physically fight over it.

MissK03's picture

Geez... people like beaver live a sad sad life. It appears SD isn't quite falling for the bait but, will it get to point where she starts refusing visitation at the dam?

Shes 14 and at the age were she does kind of have a say.

When I read our GAL's report when we went through it SD was 10/11 and she didn't hold back. They boys were more reserved in their comments to him. Our case was different though she didn't want the skids she just didn't want to have to pay SO. 

halo1998's picture

but would not base the decision soley on her preference.  At this point, SD just wants to make everyone happy.  

Right now SD is refusing to answer Beaver's phone calls.  She has access to her ipad (she left her phone at her mom's) and can use the house phone at anytime. She just has no desire to talk to Beaver.  Dh is not about to make her talk to her. 

Tomorrow morning at 8 a.m. starts DH's custodial time so after that no worries.

I about died laughing when Beaver sent the old ..."You are interferring with my custodial time."  DH just responded back..I am concerned for SD's safety as you and SD were involved in a physical altercation.  I will not be sending SD back to your based on my concern for her safety.

Beaver might try to file for contempt but then she can explain why she kicked, pinched, hit and bit SD to the court.

Harry's picture

Beaver will never be normal. You are letting beaver into your head , what means she is winning.  Winning what ??  
you are not SD mother , if she can not leave Beaver nonsense at Beavers house you have to disengage from SD also.

You will not win the war.  You will be banned from school events as graduation, party, weddings ect.  This is your future.  If you invest yout time and energy into SD you will be hurt badly 

halo1998's picture

I have had years of this as in 10+ years.  And this ain't my first run at the rodeo.   I'm not any more invested in this than I would normally be.  Beaver doesn't ban me from anything and DH will not allow that either.  Either I go or he doesn't.  DH puts our marriage before anything or anyone else.  That he has never had a problem with.  I support DH but not to my own detriment.  

JRI's picture

Beaver used to be funny but now she is getting sad and dangerous.

The_Upgrade's picture

I think the one small thing that might save SD is that she isn't Beaver's favourite. Beaver may be nuttier than squirrel shit but she hasn't put SD on a pedastal as she spouts her lies. Some skids grow up believing everything coming out of their crazy BM's mouth no matter how ridiculous but being on the receiving end of the crazy does bring some perspective. 

Lifer33's picture

Poor quid, what a nut case 

Zen mode's picture

Wrong post