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***Breath in...Breath out.** Tale of out whack priorities

halo1998's picture

My fellow step parents the struggle with high school is real y'all.

As we know from previous episiodes...SD comes here during the day to do online school work because while at Beaver's she does NOTHING...and I mean nothing.

Yes..this is a pita for DH to pick her up every morning but he has a vested interest in her graduating on time or graduating period.

TALK ABOUT A STRUGGLE..

SD must now do school work down in the dinning room because up her room she will do EVERYTHING but school work. Tik Tok, facetime, snapchat, netfix, playing SIMS, roblux..you name it.

Monday...she was sent to her room briefly because our cleaning ladies were here.  (Yes...we have cleaning ladies because when the kids were little and both DH and I worked at the office we couldn't keep up.  Now when we can keep up..we don't have the heart to cancel on the ladies).  Cleaning ladies are done and DH goes to tell SD to go back downstairs...what is she doing playing Roblux and facetiming.  School work...done....no of course not.  Math was not finished..but wait...it didn't need to be turned in till midnight. 

DH tells SD to get the f off of roblux and facetime and do her Math.  Oh..but SD left the math sheets that she started at home.  DH called her bluff and told her it was online find where she left off and FINISH IT.  SD's next excuse..she doesn't know how to do the problems.  DH tells her to call my DD (who we know is inbetween classes during this time and is FREAKING MATH MAJOR) and GET HER TO TUTOR HER.  No excuse for SD...she has multiple resources at her disposal...JUST DO IT 

Today....DH notices that SD is taking a shower at 10:00 a.m.  (WTF....take one at your moms at night or get up early and take one).  10:30 rolls around..DH still doesn't hear SD listening to the online school and or doing anything, nor is she downstairs at the dinning room table.  DH finds SD in her room putting on MASCARA.  DH is now PISSED...and asks WTF are you doing?  SD tells him she is "getting ready".  DH asks her getting ready for WHAT??  Your not going anywhere and you don't have zoom meeting etc.  DH tells SD she is just f*cking off and to get downstairs and do her school work.  SD...IIIIIIII KKKKNNNNNOOOOOOWWWW..  DH..tells her No..you don't know and I don't want to hear I know...I want to see you doing your damn school work.  

SD was more concerned about putting on mascara and getting ready for a some unknown audience. (I suspect she was going to facetime or tik tok if DH had not checked on her) than doing her work for school.  Priorities...that mascara isn't going to put itself on. That is way more important than finishing up work for school  That mascara will help you get a job...**rolling my eyes***

3 YEARS WE HAVE 3 YEARS.......

One thing I will say..DH does not take any sh*t from SD.  However, I think he could probably do more..but not my kid not my problem.

Now..if it were my kids...the makeup would have been GONE in the trash...and the phone and ipad would have been made bricks.  I'm way more of a hard ass..but then again..both my kids graduated high school with honors and attended/or are attending college.  They also knew..f*ck off and I would make their life look like a stint at alcatraz.

 

 

****UPDATE**  Aww now we have poor ittle SD blogging about how hard it is and she has to be perfect and do her school work. I'm not sure I could roll my eyes anymore.  Yep....she has to be "perfect" because she got told to stop messing around with mascara and do her school work.  Oh boohooo there SD.  Halo senses an shift in the force....and SD going to the darkside soon.  GWR also had the same boohoo's over being told to do his homework..and that it made him suicidal when DH told him to stop gaming and do his damn school work.  I project that no later than May SD will go to Beaver's permanently..possibly even earlier since Beaver is set to lose out on CS due to GWR's going off the CS books in a few months. *****

Comments

advice.only2's picture

Ahh yes the joys of teens and online schooling. DH and I are both "essential" so we are at work all day, BD14 is on her own to do her online schooling, I know for the most part she is good about it. BUT one day I came home a bit early and walked into her room, Roblox was up on the screen and not her class which I could hear in the background. She whipped around so fast I thought her little head was going to spin off...I got the obligatory "OH hi mom, you scared me, why are you home so early." So I feel your pain!

ESMOD's picture

I think this is a good point.. it's not just "bad" kids who struggle to stay on task.. even bios.. or "good skids" can be frustrating.  I recall trying to monitor YSD throug a few online courses so she could finish HS early a few years ago (HER choice).. but I was doing it remotely since she was living with her grandparents.. and I believe she fell victim to the snapchat a lot.

tog redux's picture

Don't worry, you know she will stop coming over before 3 years is up. Especially since DH actually parents her.

halo1998's picture

that he will get f*d over and she will go to her mom's in the next year.  At this point..Dh is prepared for that and will tell her fine go...and she can transfer to the getto school and DH will pay the blood money for the next 3 years or so.

Sigh...at least DH can take some pride in my two....DD just made the Dean's list for her 1st sememster in freshman year...during a pandemic.    Smile

tog redux's picture

Yep, the choice is to become a Disney Dad so the kids aren't totally alienated, but lose their respect and your own - or keep being a parent, have them be alienated, and retain their respect and your own.   It's a Devil's Choice.  My DH chose the parenting route too. 

Hastings's picture

SS is only 10 but we struggle with it some too. It seems like they're on breaks more than they're doing class instruction.

I thought there should be a "no electronics (Nintendo, iPad, tv) during normal school hours" rule but I wasn't asked so I didn't share. At one point, it turned out he was rushing through quizzes and assignments to play. DH told him no screen time if he doesn't have an A or B. That helped. But every day, seems like SS has an assignment he hasn't turned in yet.

Thank goodness he's going back to in-person in August.

CLove's picture

Thats a whole saga in and of itself!

Although I will take this moment to brag, but her teacher made a mistake on grading something. It looked like she was getting an "f" in honors English. I texted her while she was at her mothers knarly apartment (the black void of nothingness where chaos reigns) and she emailed the teacher on her own behalf (spelling and punctuation very correct) and the teacher has corrected it and she currently has all "a's". Yes, I checked her email...

Victory dance. 

SD is being parented. That is all.

Biggrin

halo1998's picture

Go munchkin.   

black void..I call Beaver's the black hole of calcutta...things go in but don't come out.

CLove's picture

The black void of nothingness. I guess we all have them?

ndc's picture

Thank God my SKs are going to school in person and have been since August. The end of last school year was a nightmare. I don't know how those of you with kids/skids learning remotely are doing it.

Kudos to Mr. Halo for doing the tough parenting work.

lieutenant_dad's picture

YEP.

"YSS, have you done your work?"

"Um, yeah."

................nope.

We instituted "family homework nights". YSS gets to sit with DH as they work through problems. YSS HATES it, but his school work gets done. 

Maxwell09's picture

Did you check your state laws to make sure that damn clause "whichever falls later" isn't after the part that states child support ends after the child turns 18 or graduates.......Because it wouldn't be the first time a BM has bascially set up the child to fail to extend child support a little longer