Making amends
Does anyone try to make amends or an effort to have a relationship with their stepchild? Sometimes I do t know how to bc he's let me down so much. I've been with my husband for over 9 years and raised my stepson when his mom wasn't around. I've been to all his sporting events took him to get his driving permit....
what do I get??
constant bullying and narcissistic comments. He's given me a lot of hell throughout the years. He was bad at school and would get into a lot of fights. He made disrespectful comments to me many times.
Do you know what? I dont put up with it. AT ALL!
His mother is an enabler and lets him do whatever, but in our house I set boundaries. I make him do chores, work, and help around the house.
ive apologized for my mistakes bc I'm not perfect either. It's never easy living in a blended family. Often times kids will act up bc they are hurt inside. I've had a lot of deep conversations with him. My point is that, life happens people aren't perfect. Speak up when they do something wrong give praise when they do something good.
im done w all the animosity between us. I want u a ti make amends with each other. I do love him, sometimes it's hard. As a parent,you work at it bc you want your kid to be someone one day. They will eventually see all your hard work that you have done for them.
make amends with them...
maybe not today but try
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Nope. Done putting myself and
Nope. Done putting myself and family through hell trying to make it work or please some little basket case that lies, manipulates, and makes life a nightmare because her mom screwed her up.
The person who offended is the one to make ammends.
Hell no you do not make amends. At most I would notify him that when he is ready to make amends that you are willing to consider it.
Accepting his amends should be dependent on his actions and not his words. Do not accept words that are not preceded and followed by zero repeated crap periods of say... a few decades.
"Don't tell me. Show me."
Words without dedicated action are just more of the same old bullshit in far too many cases.
^^^Absolutely this ^^^ No
^^^Absolutely this ^^^ No way in this world would I try and make amends to people who ruined my life for well over a decade. I am civil to my adult SDs these days, when they come to visit us (thankfully not often) but that's as far as it goes. As Rags says, talk is cheap. Respect me with your actions, over a sustained period of time, and I will consider coming halfway to meet you.
I can't do it. I can't
I can't do it. I can't pretend or create trust where none exists. As far as I am concerned that is the basis for all interpersonal relationships.
This doesn't mean I lack empathy for SKs and that I don't genuinely want the best for them. But at some point you have to accept that no matter how hard you try, you can't mix oil and water.
It's like Robert Dinero in Meet the Fockers. You are either in my circle of trust or you are not.
Relationships are important to me. I have had the same friends my entire life and I truly value these relationships.
Some people are not raised that way and I can't change SKs values or beliefs. But the fact they they are so different from mine prevents me from ever being able to have a close relationship with them.
A person makes amends to
A person makes amends to someone because they have wronged them. Have you wronged him? Giving him chores or giving him consequences when he acts out does not constitute a wrong.
You don't want the animosity between you, but does he feel the same? If he is the one with the attitude, he's the one who has to want to change that attitude. You can only change what you do, how you react.