The Entitlement Is Strong With This One
Tuesday, I canceled my Spotify family plan and just kept the single-person premium for myself. DH never uses Spotify and doesn't care, and Guzzlord does use it fairly often but honestly just f him, he contributes nothing to the family, community, or world, so he can legit deal with a few ads. Everything's getting more expensive, I'm in cutting costs, growing my own veggies and herbs, clipping coupons, and ramping up the savings mode. He'll be fine.
Except he literally tried to get confrontational with me about it yesterday. He came in and asked why he was getting ads on Spotify all of a sudden. I told him I canceled the family plan because it's an unnecessary expense. And he glared at me and said, "But do you get ads now, too?"
I was a little bit floored. I just stared back at him until he backed out of the office and went on with his day.
DH showed him the parts of the yard he was to weed-eat this week on Monday. This isn't a huge yard, it should have taken 40 minutes, tops, but somehow Guzzlord managed to stretch it over a period of three days. Wednesday night I pointed out that it was taking way too long and he needed to finish it up sooner than later. He then takes DH aside and says, "If I finish it all today, I want Friday off all day. It's Girlfriend's birthday!" So rather than spending time with her family and friends on her birthday, this young lady intends for she and Guzzlord to gaze at each other over Skype for - GET THIS - 16 hours. He went on to clarify that being off Friday includes little quick chores like us asking him to bring out the trash.
First of all, Guzzlord, there is nothing we ever ask you to do around here that would take more than about an hour out of your day. You could literally get everything done when you drag your butt out of bed and still have the entire day to Xbox and girlfriend-stare, which is really just a typical day for you anyway. The idea that you have put in anything like a day's work into this home so that you have somehow earned a day off is, at best, hilarious. You do the bare minimum, you do it poorly, and stretch 40-minute jobs over the course of several days. Every day is your day off. But whatever. DH said as long as he gets the yard finished, we'd leave him to it. And he did actually do it yesterday, plus half-assedly sweep the living room.
On the bright side, writing NO and GO EASY in Sharpie on literally all of the groceries seems to have toned down his human-garbage-disposal thing surprisingly well. So there's that, at least.