Vent on the Losing Battle
I lost my patience with trying to get DH and Guzzlord in line on the dish situation. Like, I realize it sucks this place doesn't have a dishwasher, but it's not hard to do if you keep up with them and I feel like Guzzlord won't die from overexertion without one. I decided for now I'll do it myself and think of something Guzzlord can't screw up that's still helpful to his dad and I. I feel like there's some weaponized incompetence at play here.
The final straw was last week when the dishes were backed up by a couple of days. It was the start of my morning and all I wanted was a glass of ice water. I looked at the pile of dishes at the sink and assumed there wasn't a clean one, but I checked the cabinet, and holy smokes! There was a glass up there! So I grabbed it and as soon as I did I felt the crusted-on old food that he'd failed to wash or rinse off. It's like he stick all the nasty sh*t in the sink to "soak" and then just relocates it to the drain sometimes without bothering to do any of the steps in between, like washing and rinsing... I was livid pissed and I told DH to just tell him to leave the kitchen to me. DH is still nursing a bad rib injury (which I hope doesn't turn out to be something more serious - he's just started physical therapy, so here's hoping), so he's not much help at all. By the time he's in from work he needs to use an ice pack and then a heating pad and work on his PT exercises, which only exhausts him further. I'm trying to support him through this, but I'm getting more and more pissed off every second that Guzzlord is just sitting on his Xbox in the basement making googly eyes with his long-distance girlfriend on Skype 24/7 and only helping when specifically told a quick chore (if we say bring the trash out now, he'll generally comply, for example, but if it's something that takes more than 3 minutes of his time he is SUPER resistent to it) while DH and I work our tails off - DH through his injury and myself through chronic depression, no less - for him to sit on his bum and consume the contents of our fridge and pantry with no regard for anyone on Earth but himself.
Anyway, I digress. The dirty glass in the cabinet paired with the double-sink full of dishes was the last. I can't live with my kitchen like that, it grosses me out so bad. DH is too guilty-daddy and in too much pain to do more than to give him a stern talking-to now and then about it, which generally just ends in Guzzlord yelling and bowing up and then pouring on the guilt when that doesn't work. It's a neverending cycle and there's nothing at this point that's going to make me happy except for him getting TF out of our house. I know it will depress the hell out of DH for his baby Guzzlord to finally fly the nest, and I'm a little concerned about what that's going to look like if / when the kid ever launches, but I guess I'll burn that bridge when I get to it. lol
So fine, I'll handle the kitchen. And the laundry. And the bathroom. I make DH go down to the basement and make sure Guzzlord's room isn't nasty enough to be an insect or fire hazard now and then, but if it weren't for that I shudder to think how that room would look and smell. It's already unpleasant enough that I won't go in. DH said he would make Guzzlord take over the nightly sweeping and thrice-weekly mopping, but they stuck to that for literally all of one night.
So far this week I've worked 11 and 12 hours every day to help out my bosses. I'm exhausted and (as usual) struggling with depression, and even though dinner has been late every night this week and I've stayed up late cleaning up and such, I was feeling pretty OK up until a few minutes ago. I had a glass and plate in the sink from lunch, no biggie to wait until after dinner on that, and I was feeling pretty good about how well I've handled my hectic week so far. I just stepped into the kitchen to grab a cup of tea during a quick break, though, and apparently Guzzlord has been hoarding enough dishes in his room all this time, just deciding to bring them up today, that he's completely filled both sides of the sink again and I can't even access the faucet. I literally just turned around and sat down and cried for a couple of minutes.
I don't want to stress DH out overly much right now because he's been battling this rib thing for a couple of months now and it's really draining him to be in constant, sometimes severe, pain. I feel like this isn't the right time for making waves or dropping ultimatums. But it's nice to have someplace to vent. If there are any fairy godmothers reading this, my wish one wish is for Guzzlord to successfully launch sooner than later.