You are here

Dh paid for bms new truck! I am infuriated!!

Goblin's picture

So bm after pleading broke and unable to afford a shirt for her kid shows up driving a brand new truck. I suspected that dhs parents had something to do with it but I didn't expect to find out that dh's dad (stepdad) would give bm dh's work bonus!!! Today is bonus day at dhs work and dh didn't have an envelope and there was no extra deposit in our account. Dh called his dad to ask what was going on and his dad told him his bonus this yr was knowing his kid had safe and reliable transportation!! I can't f@cking believe they did this! Dhs dad gave her his bonus which should have been $50,000!!!

Comments

ESMOD's picture

OMG really?

Your husband needs to get a job where his paycheck is not subject to the whims of a relative. That's it. no other solution. If he continues to work for his step dad.. he is opening himself up to this happening again.

When SF wants to know why he quit, he can tell him that while he understands his SF's viewpoint, that he can't work for an employer who decides how his money is spent. period.

hereiam's picture

Time for your DH to find a new job. Your DH's dad needs to learn how to keep the personal life separate from the business, which he had no business giving away someone's bonus. So very unethical.

Goblin's picture

Dh can't just up and leave his job. He is supposed to inherit the company when his dad retires. DH has worked here since he was 14. I just can't believe they did this!!

SM12's picture

From the actions of the StepDad, I wouldn't hold my breath on your DH inheriting anything. He may as well leave it to BM.
That relationship is just toxic.

Aniki's picture

Up and leave?? Who said that? Most people job hunt and accept a new position before giving notice and the old job.

Don't count on this man leaving your husband the company. That may be the EXPECTATION, but, at this rate, he's going to leave the bloody company to SS and BM.

Goblin's picture

He isn't going to leave the company to bm but I told dh he might leave it to ss and dh disagrees.

Goblin's picture

Dh is paid a bit more than average for his position but the bonus he should have received is what others in his position are accustomed to. Dh has been since he was 14 so his pay reflects that.

bearcub25's picture

I get $60/per for every year I am in my job. Gosh, my puny little 2000 as my bonus this year is a joke.

not2sureimsaneanymore's picture

It's also not high for legal jobs. My bff is a first year corporate lawyer. Her bonus alone is 60k. Pretty sure the 3rd years and partners are making triple that.

tankh21's picture

I was thinking I wish I could be a GUBM and get $50,000. J/K OP's DH must make 6 figures probably no wonder why BM is after him.

Goblin's picture

He makes 6 figures with his bonus. I don't think her truck cost 50,000 either. It's nice but it looks more about 30,000. I looked up similar models.

secret's picture

if he makes 78,000 (according to the CS payment amount)... after taxes, deductions, and CS, that's really not that much take home pay for rent/bills etc.... dunno about you, but as a single parent with 3 kids, I'd have to be stretching that 46-50K leftover pretty thin to make ends meet in my lifestyle...

1800 every 2 weeks is not very much when you actually consider everything that has to be paid with it. I know for me, 1800 is gone in 2 weeks, easy.

SM12's picture

OMG that is HORRIBLE!!! Your DH's Stepdad has some serious issues! As long as your DH works for him, he will continue to interfere.
What does DH's BM say about this. Doesn't she defend your DH at all?

There is no way I would live my life kissing the ass of anyone who treated me like that. No amount of money is worth that hell.

Aniki's picture

Not only does your DH need to find a new job ASAP, he needs to SERIOUSLY question his stepfather's place in his life.

I would find a new job and no longer have anything to do with that interfering arsehole.

Goblin's picture

Bonuses aren't guaranteed nor are the amounts. There is nothing he can do and he wouldn't do anything anyway since that is his dad.

Goblin's picture

I don't know what happened but i don't think he would hand her a check. I think he took her shopping and bought it but i have no proof and it's all what I believe would happen. He could have just showed up and gave it to her, she could of asked him to go with her and negotiate a deal. I don't know how it played out.

Goblin's picture

Dh makes a good salary but the bonus is what makes it great. We bank it and use it through out the year as needed. This is a big blow to our finances.

justanothergurlNJ's picture

That's my first thought how can that be legal. If it's a legit job that is NOT legal unless OP's DH is in the arrears for CS. Something does not make sense

Goblin's picture

I don't think it will be on his W-2. I think his dad gave bm the money and then called it dhs bonus to make him pay!! I wonder if a $50,000 a yr pay cut would warrant a change in child support? It's a bonus so it isn't guaranteed. His child support includes that bonus income though.

tankh21's picture

My DH gets bonuses as well but they are only like $2,500 and they aren't included in his salary. I cannot fathom how BM is collecting CS which is not taxable and then getting $50,000. I am curious to know now as well how much OP's DH is paying in CS a month?

Icansorelate's picture

Your DH needs to find out immediately, if 1) this is considered income to him and in that case is taxable (who is paying the taxes?). and 2) if he can get CS adjusted for having a large decrease in income if it is not income to him.

I also agree DH needs to get out from under Step dad. I think the chances are slim and none that DH gets ownership of that business.

secret's picture

LOL - your dh should tell his dad that thanks to him, he can lower his child support payments because his salary was just reduced by 50k.... hahahah

Aniki's picture

I say again, your DH needs to find a new job.

PRONTO. There is NO guarantee his stepfather will turn the company over to him. But as long as your DH works for his stepfather, he is allowing SF to control his life.

Goblin's picture

Dh won't leave. I know he won't. I can't believe bm would stoop so low as to do this. I'm looking at recalculating child support. If it lowers it I am going to have him file.

tankh21's picture

I think its more of the stepdad than BM because he feels that your DH is not taking care of his kid. $1300 is a lot for one kid too.

Aniki's picture

If your DH won't leave, he can expect this to be his life from here on out. Stepfather will continue to insert himself AND use DH's money as he sees fits. At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if good ol' SF starts garnishing a portion of DH's salary to send to BM, seeing as SF believes your DH is not caring for the boy in the manner SF expects.

I don't see this situation changing. Your DH will not look for another job. SF will continue to interfere. Your option is to disengage from skid AND DH's SF and be concerned only with things YOU can control.

Goblin's picture

That's the truck I am talking about! Dh's dad bought it for her and then kept dhs bonus to pay himself back or something like that.

WalkOnBy's picture

I think it's time for you to rethink your place in this f*cked up family dynamic.

If I were you, I would be G-O-N-E!

zerostepdrama's picture

So... whose paying taxes on this "bonus"?

Or did SF just buy a truck for BM (Out of his personal funds or business funds?) and tell DH that instead of giving him a bonus this year, SF decided to buy BM a truck?

ESMOD's picture

I'm curious as to what your DH's MOTHER is thinking about all of this. Is she happy that her husband is putting HER child in a financial bind?

Goblin's picture

I told dh to call his mom and talk to her but he won't. I have no idea what she is thinking. I also told dh that he needs to ask his dad how much the truck cost because if it was 30,000 then where is the other 20,000? 20,000 is better than nothing. I told dh we need to do a down ward modification of child support but he said no it would go up since it hasn't changed since their divorce.

twoviewpoints's picture

Your DH seems to be coping with this very calmly. Maybe he knows much more than he's telling you.

ESMOD's picture

This is an interesting perspective. I think a lot of young people have thoughts about "when I inherit X,Y or Z".... Like my YSD who was looking around and making remodeling plans on the house that my husband is going to inherit (supposedly) after his parents pass away. It was his great grandparents home.. not where his parents live.. where we stay when we visit them. I explained that she shouldn't count her chickens before they hatch..lol.

I mean, when I was younger.. maybe in my 20's... I knew my parents were fairly well off with investments and knew it would be split between my brother and I. I don't think I really thought through that I might not actually SEE any of that money until I was much, much older. You know, thinking my parents would pass on in their 70's or whatever. Not wishing it mind you.. just figured that's what would happen.

So.. now I am in my 50's and my dad is going to be 88 and fit as a fiddle and could quite possibly survive well another 10 years or more.... So, at this point, it might not be until I am in my 60's before I would see any inheritance... not exactly as I thought it would be right?

So, timing wise, this guy could slave his whole career under SF, but SS could come up in the end and be the one who gets the business!

ESMOD's picture

Yep! Also, no guarantee the business will not be sold to pay for SF's retirement too.

Unless your husband has some contract or succession plan. (like when SF gets to be 65 he leaves the business... etc).. I would be worried,

Aniki's picture

Fruity, that's what I said.

I worked with a gal who bought a new house based on her OT earnings. Guess what? OT did not last forever and, when it ended, she could no longer afford her house payments.

SMH at people who DEPEND on No Guarantee EXTRA.

twoviewpoints's picture

$1,300 CS would be roughly 20% a month of a $78,000 income before tax allowances. If, as you say, it's the bonus that kicks Dh's salary into the six figures, $50,000 would bring you to $128,000. Doesn't look as if, the CS incomes calculation of including any bonus.

It's a rare company that is going to pay 65% of salary for a bonus unless it's commission/profit share off his sales.

If the bonus is not guaranteed and amount varies year to year, how does your DH know his "bonus" was $50,000? Well, was going to be $50,000before PawPaw gave it away to BM. This makes no sense. PawPaw has to account for $50,000, but you say truck likely was only $30,000ish (so not the be-all you previously made it sound, $30,000 for a truck is pretty low and not all "the whistles"). If he purchased the truck as business expense and a company truck , just let's BM drive it, books will click 'ok' for that $30,000, but it doesn't account for the remaining supposed $20,000.

So, what's next besides venting online on a stepparent site?

not2sureimsaneanymore's picture

This actually depends if this is a before deduction state or after deduction state. The state DH's CO is in takes overnights, mortgage (or rent), health insurance, subsequent children, taxes into account. It's based on net income, not gross.

Thumper's picture

You should see the car my DH bought me.

BUT,
I am still blow away that Goblins DH bought his xwife a 50k car.

HAHAAHAHHHAH

Well come to think about it, with all the CS my dh gave her she could have bought several cars.

Lets say this is a real honest to goodness post and I wrote it. I would have said my lawyer told ME to dig my heals in because DH lawyer should bring AND daddy poo's wheelbarrow to court, they will need it.

FieryEscape's picture

:jawdrop: Hell to the NO! I would be absolutely livid .

Your DH needs to file to have CS reduced asap !

He also needs to have a nice chat with his SF and tell him that under no circumstances did he agree to his bonus going to BM. $50,000 is a TON of money ! He also needs to find out just how SF is expensing this huge lump of money and that he had better not think of adding it to your DHs earnings / W2. You can't just write off / expense 50k without a valid business reason ( hello IRS red flag ). Did SF take it as his own bonus and pay taxes on it ? Is he going to 1099 BM ?

What a load of crap. I bet your DH was counting in his bonus for expenses in his own household. What a betrayal ...I bet there will be some family issues from now on.

Pharlap's picture

Okay, I played along before, but this is total BS. Grand daddy didn't build a huge business by being stupid. No matter how pissed off he is at his son, he wouldn't risk losing everything and possible jail time by STEALING from him. It doesn't matter that he is a family member that works for him, he doesn't get to dictate how his money gets spent.

Curious Georgetta's picture

In a privately held company with no contractual obligation to pay a bonus, the step dad was probably within his rights to treat bonus as discretionary. Maybe the company did not do as well this year. Maybe after the boy scout fiasco, the step dad has lost faith in the judgement of the poster's husband.

Probably, the step father did not become so successful by being a complete fool. He may be already paying the poster's husband on the " family pay scale " and may have decided that he invested in the wrong horse.

The step father comment about the truck was quite possibly his way of trying to teach stepson a life lesson about parental obligations and priorities.

If poster's husband is earning a salary that makes a 50000 bonus s reasonable expectation , than 1300 a month is neither excessive nor exorbitant . Once again, if we assume that s man who successfully builds a multi million dollar business is not s complete fool (granted that may be s big assumption), there are probably other issues involved in this decision.

Curious Georgetta's picture

In a privately held company with no contractual obligation to pay a bonus, the step dad was probably within his rights to treat bonus as discretionary. Maybe the company did not do as well this year. Maybe after the boy scout fiasco, the step dad has lost faith in the judgement of the poster's husband.

Probably, the step father did not become so successful by being a complete fool. He may be already paying the poster's husband on the " family pay scale " and may have decided that he invested in the wrong horse.

The step father comment about the truck was quite possibly his way of trying to teach stepson a life lesson about parental obligations and priorities.

If poster's husband is earning a salary that makes a 50000 bonus s reasonable expectation , than 1300 a month is neither excessive nor exorbitant . Once again, if we assume that s man who successfully builds a multi million dollar business is not s complete fool (granted that may be s big assumption), there are probably other issues involved in this decision.

not2sureimsaneanymore's picture

You think he wouldn't find another job. Have you told DH to look for another job. When my DH was tired of his boss taking liberties and treating him like crap--I urged him to apply for other jobs and he did. He got an interview and is waiting on the second round.

Money and the possibility of inheritance is not worth it for me to be manipulated and treated like this. Where is your husband's DIGNITY?

Monchichi's picture

wine, you are sadly wrong. My husband has hopped to his mothers drum beat purely because he doesn't want to be cut off. I am guessing OP's husband is the same.

Acratopotes's picture

I did not read all the comments...

Now does DH have a signed employment contract, does it stipulate bonus? If yes DH can go to labor court and sue SF for not paying him a bonus. If he does not have a contract I suggest he gets one immediately stipulating everything, with this SF can never do this again.

For now - I would simply call IRS and blow the whistle on BM for making an additional 50k and not declaring it }:) }:)

EDIT TO ADD - get proof BM received it and file for lower CS - BM is earning a hell of allot of money

moeilijk's picture

That's true, but that doesn't mean there are no tax consequences.

A gift from an employer is not usually considered a gift by the taxman.

A gift to someone receiving any public assistance is usually clawed-back and would affect future eligibility. (Such as people receiving welfare who fail to declare bringing home leftovers from a family Thanksgiving dinner.)

There are limits to how much can be 'given' in any tax year before the taxman sits up and pays attention.

moeilijk's picture

I agree it's ridiculous. But true. I'll try to find an online source, but it was included in the curriculum of a class I took at university as an example of systemic discrimination against the poor in Canada.

Maybe the ex doesn't do any work for SF, but maybe SF puts her on the payroll so that he can give her money. It's certainly possible and there's way for the OP, nor you nor I to know whether that's the case.

Acratopotes's picture

shoot... now I want to move to US again...

with us it's fully taxable

EDIT - wow I've done some reading and only the first 14K is tax free, not the rest, but it's very confusing and well this transaction between SF and BM might not even be seen as a gift..... I think it's worth investigating this or reporting it to IRS, either BM or SF will be paying some gift tax

Acratopotes's picture

yes I did gather that and that's why I said it's very confusing.....

loads of documents, charities, donator, donatee, estates etc.... very complicated.

We have different rules, gift from a 3rd party fully taxable, estates - regardless of amount not taxable at all etc.
but it is interesting to see the different laws

Disneyfan's picture

I think the rich FIL piece this story line is FAKE.

The SM with two perfect bio daughters and 1 not so perfect stepdaughter and the new husband who LLLOOOOOVVVVEEESSS his perfect stepdaughters are all true.

Now that school is out, I think that not so perfect SD will be spending much more time at her father's house. Goblin nunya is adding all of these extra layers to the story and changing the gender/age oof the not so perfect SK so that her future post don't get the same reaction her bookfair and lunch bags for homeless posts got before.

She's gearing up to make Miss Not So Perfect time at her dad's this summer miserable. When the kid pushes back, she will come here and complain about how awful she is.

I remember someone telling her a bit ago that sooner or later someone would stop and listen (and finally believe) what the SD started telling then how SM treated her. It looks like the FIL is doing just that.

Monchichi's picture

Disney, OP has a SS in scouts and 2 daughters. OP seldom talks about her daughters other than they don't have double activities like SS. What is the same as nunya is the lack of biological father. I can see where you are going though.

Disneyfan's picture

I think she changed the gender and age of the SK and made the FIL, rich. Other than that, the story lines are the same.

Acratopotes's picture

My guess as well.... F is keeping DH there with empty promises of him taking over one day

it's not going to happen and then DH will be to old to find a new job

twoviewpoints's picture

Attention to her blogs had dropped . Barely being acknowledged. Ridiculous farce about BM being given DH's bonus? Bingo. Attention back and focused on poor little Goblin and her escalating Scout Saga.

SM12's picture

Personally I would turn BM's fanny into the IRS. You can only gift a person a certain amount of money before you owe taxes on that money.
I believe it is under $15000. Well according to the OP, the BM got $50,000.00. I would most certainly turn her into the IRS and make sure she paid taxes.

secret's picture

giving a gift over 14k to someone OTHER THAN YOUR SPOUSE - you file form 709

future interests are not subject to 14k exclusion

Spouses may not file a joint gift tax return. Each individual is responsible for his or her own Form 709.

You must file a gift tax return to split gifts with your spouse (regardless of their amount) as described in Part 1—General Information.

If a gift is of community property, it is considered made one-half by each spouse. For example, a gift of $100,000 of community property is considered a gift of $50,000 made by each spouse, and each spouse must file a gift tax return.

Likewise, each spouse must file a gift tax return if they have made a gift of property held by them as joint tenants or tenants by the entirety.

Only individuals are required to file gift tax returns. If a trust, estate, partnership, or corporation makes a gift, the individual
beneficiaries, partners, or stockholders are considered donors and may be liable for the gift and GST taxes.

The donor is responsible for paying the gift tax. However, if the donor does not pay the tax, the person receiving the gift may have to pay the tax.

If you meet all of the following requirements, you are not required to file Form 709:
You made no gifts during the year to your spouse.
You did not give more than $14,000 to any one donee.
All the gifts you made were of present interests

ETA: copied from https://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/i709.pdf

secret's picture

The one spouse can make a 28k gift from a solo account, and can elect to split with the spouse. You are correct.

However...anotherstep is also correct - the second spouse has to agree to it...because each individual has to file their individual 709 form. If the second spouse doesn't file the form, the gift isn't split..........