Ugh - what does a partnership mean? (Rant..)
So - I am working through this. DH got a job. He has started paying his share again. That is all good. But darn it. I am feeling alone again.
The good news - today I found out I don't have breast cancer! Yeah Team! Always good news. (My sister had it, my Grandmother died of it, and one of my Aunt's had it.) They found a spot on the mammogram, I had to go in for follow up. I told my DH, and said - PLEASE - don't say anything, and specifically, please don't discuss this with SD. (Preggo SD, now 20, living with us, due any day - I think of her as The Belly - which she likes to parade around the house uncovered and available for all to view.) I don't know if this is odd or not - but The Belly's mom always shared all medical issues - a total hypochondriac. The day we picked her up to come live with us - BM was off getting pain shots for her back. She showed up as we were leaving completely stoned from the pain killers. I wanted to hurl. What a complete looser.
I don't like to discuss medical stuff much, and I don't think I need to discuss/share with The Belly - she is the dependent here, I don't need to lean on her. Nor is she really my confidant. I *thought* my DH was supposed to be that.
Oh well, I get home and there is The Belly. She asks - gee - no cancer? - I told her no. (Um - she wasn't supposed to KNOW I was going in for anything, let alone a cancer check up!) And I have to walk the dog. Then I left. (to walk the dog.)
This is so stupid. I just feel like crying. It is a bizarre mixture of relief and pain. Of course The Belly and DH are off to the mall now to get DH's brother something for his 40th. (I'm not included...) How do you discuss PARTNERSHIP and what it means? I guess I am just, once again, feeling like the single parent of this little group - not like someone's wife. Sometimes it just sucks.
Sorry - needed to rant.