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Sometimes it is good to laugh (long)

gertrude's picture

Ok - so, I am a mean ogre. I know and accept this now. I also recognize that my family has a warped sense of humor in some things, and I usually keep it to myself. One of our rules growing up was that we had to bleed outside. People heal, rugs don't. As a result, getting hurt is not so much a big production with me as a thing to deal with and move on...

So, I am still chuckling, AND I pissed my DH off last night. Oh well - considering I was ready to kick him out the night before, I think it is good for him. Almost a week ago, the Belly (SD20) stubbed her toe as she was walking into the kitchen. As she is due any day now, she is a little awkward, and I started out with the aawwe - that's too bad, do you want some ice? (you know, being caring, for real) Well - her response was that it was the dog's fault. (She has been on a campaign to get rid of my dog, it was my original impetus for joining this site I was so upset). As soon as she blamed it on the dog, I reverted to my, "too bad for you deal." I do not accept any BS blame it on dog talk. I said she should have watched where she was walking and left the kitchen. (remember -this is a stubbed toe, not a big deal...)

Ok, so I go in the back room where DH and computers are (we are pc gamers), and let DH know Belly had hurt her toe. He finishes the screen he is on and wanders out to see the Belly. (She is in living room with best friend). He is gone for like ten minutes or so, so I get up to go see what is going on. OMG!!! You would NOT believe it! This 20 year old young woman is lieing back on the couch with her foot up on the ottoman, her head thrown back, hand at her forehead, palm turned out, with big HUGE crocodile tears pouring out, bottom lip quivering - sobbing - MY TOE IS BROKEN, MY TOE IS BROKEN!!! ROFLMAO!! I had to leave the room! I couldn't say anything! MY DH is sitting on the ottoman saying it's ok, we'll tape it up. OMG!!! She stubbed her baby toe on the floor tripping over the dog! (because the dog is a problem and is not safe to be around, don't you know). So DH taped her baby toe up. POOR POOR HER. POOR POOR HER!

(Tape stayed on for Saturday - mind you there was no limping, and shoes didn't seem to be a problem... Tape fell off Saturday afternoon, and there was no more reference to it.)

Well, about four days later, my inlaws drop by for a chat. The Belly is sitting on the couch - "broken toe" tucked under the other leg, declaiming to her aunt with all the wisdom of a preggo 20 year old, unmarried, dependent. She announced how she was really good with pain and had a VERY high threshold for it. (ARE YOU KIDDING ME???) I just turned my head and stared at her - I believe I may have raised an eyebrow. She added, "well except for foot pain which really gets to me." I did not laugh outloud at that moment, but I wanted to!

Well, getting busted like that broke a string of days of the most heinous attitude she was giving me. (Won't talk, sullen looks, taking up all the couch at night, latched on to Daddy Dearest) I guess it was getting busted for the huge toe drama and the fact that DH tried to get his brother to take their side that his Ex should be allowed to stay in our house when the Belly has her baby. (Fortunately for everyone - brother and wife were appalled, which shocked the pants off of my two tenants!). So - they have been UBER nice since then - sort of their version of unspoken apology. (I still want to kick them).

Then, I blew it. Last evening - as the Belly was being nice to the dog (to demonstrate that it was ok for the dog to stay) she knocked her toe (again...) but just kept going. I started laughing. I couldn't help it. DH asked me what was so funny - I said "I guess her toe isn't all that broken". And continued to laugh. He got pissed. Oh well - deal with it dude! LOL - I am still laughing. Sorry.

Comments

everythinghappens4areason's picture

I would still be laughing!! I have whimpy ss's. My youngest daughter who was a very slim, tiny thing, kept beating my ss 2 yrs older than her in arm wrestles about 3 yrs back. He was constantly saying how much upper body strength he had. And yes, he is/was a big kid at the time too, at least 80 lbs on my daughter. He stopped bragging about how strong he was for awhile. Now the girls have actual wrestling matches with both ss's. My girls are tall, but are not big or strong by any means. The woop their asses. The boys actually start crying because they can't put them down. Boys are 14 & 11. Girls are 15 & 12. I laugh and laugh. I keep telling them only brag if you can hold up your end of it!! If not, keep quiet and keep your hands to yourself!

Corie

Colorado Girl's picture

The most amazing part of your story is the fact that your DH EVEN CONSIDERED letting the BM move in with you when that baby is born!!!! I would have filpped my lid.

"To the ass, or the sow, their own offspring appears the fairest in creation."

Candice's picture

that is really funny!! Thanks for sharing that moment...

Candice

Anne 8102's picture

I'm still chuckling! That was hilarious! The Belly and her toe woes. Poor little dear. Puke. Yeah, in our family if you get hurt you shake it off and the rule is no blood, no foul. I'd love to be a fly on the wall when she delivers!

~ Anne ~

"Love, having no geography, knows no boundaries."
(Truman Capote)

ittakestwo's picture

I'm laughing about the toe... but I am APALLED that DH thought BM should be able to stay a few days after the baby comes!!! Why can't the Belly go to BM's house?

AND... I'm honestly a bit scared. Is she and the baby gonna continue to live with you and DH? Hmmm, I guess I don't know enough since I'm still pretty new...

It is what it is...

gertrude's picture

So - when DH and I met, the Belly was in HS, and DH had custody. BM lived 5 hours away, three state drive. She is a blood sucking leech that is so stupid she doesn't know to keep the host alive. Anyway, before we were married, I actually let the fat turd stay at my house on two seperate weekends. One for DH's graduation, one for her (I think it was 16th) birthday. Told DH - once SD is 18, I don't have to host mother daughter visits anymore - then it is on them. WEll.... DH and I weren't married until the year AFTER SD graduated HS. She was accepted to 3 (count them THREE!!!) colleges, with a partial scholarship to one. I was talking to her about how we (read that me) would handle finances so she could go. (Please note - this is BEFORE we were married!). Anyway - she insists she is going to stay with us, and that she is going to go to college. There is NO reason to apply to a college in the state where her mother lives, because she is going to school and staying with us. hhhmmm.... One month after the last acceptance comes in - she announces that as soon as she graduates she is going to go live with her Mom and her bf. (SD's BF - not Mom's!!). Her MOM INVITED A BOY TO LIVE WITH HER SO SD WOULD COME AND STAY!!! Am I nuts? Is this wrong on SO many levels? Well Poo-For-Brains also decided that SD and BF should pay rent. SO the land-based tapeworm lived off her kid! Do you believe this Worm Excrement tried to invite herself to my wedding shower? But, I digress... Once SD was preggo, the Walking Ameoba called my DH to let him know that she would have to move very far away to take care of a sick sister. Once we agreed to take SD, OH YEAH, Fart Head didn't have to move anymore!! Well, anyway, before we agreed, DH and I had a talk about partnering - that has slowly eroded away. One agreement was only SD stays with us - no one else, ever for any reason, including protoplasm (aka baby father), and BM (aka jackass extraordinaire). Well - SD has been whining behind my back about what a mean and demanding beast I am. She wants her mommie. SUCK IT UP CHICA! DH thought he'd test the waters by bringing it up where he thought he would get back up. HAHAHAHAHAHA

Please note: Dh's family all live in the area, they all know Camel Dung. No One has offered to let her spend the night! hhhhmmmmmm

luvdagirl's picture

I say HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!! That is hilarious! How did she get that close to the wall(I am entitled to say that I am 7months along right now) and the poor dog(I wonder if you could get him trained to lay in her way every once in a while?)

I would consider asking DH for a psych evaluation for even being dumb enough to ask for the BM thing- BOUNDARIES-copy the definition for him, and since SD is freeloading I do not believe she thinks she should have a say! THAT IS STILL MAKING ME LAUGH!

There is no reaon where logic does not exist

ittakestwo's picture

thanks for filling me in. What a mess, I feel for you. To be honest, that is my biggest fear. DH tends to treat SD as if she is totally INCAPABLE. He makes excuses for every single things she does or does not do.... I am so afraid that out of 4 kids between the two of us she will be the one that will never be successful on her own because DH has spent her entire life DOING FOR HER rather than encouraging her to more self reliant and independent. He tends to "micro manage" her and it makes me crazy! She is 5 years older than my daughter and my daughter has always been FAR more independent and self reliant than SD...

It is what it is...

gertrude's picture

My DH tries to do everything for the Belly. If he could, he would have labor for her! She of course is acclimated to being totally passive and letting things happen to her. Both of them resent when I actually want her to DO SOMETHING! DH and I discussed that she needs to make the dinner once a week. (We both cook, she needs to participate in the chores) - On her night - he does ALL the cooking - he "allows" her to make mashed potatos. What have I heard from her - I don't know how to peel potatos. I don't know how to cook a grilled cheese sandwhich. She has been so rewarded for being inept and lazy that she believes she is not capable and is rather lazy! The problem is, she is quite capable! He believes he is helping her, but really, from my point of view, he is crippling her.