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Update on my mom

Georgie Girl's picture

Well, today was the day that we went get the results of the mri and find out more regarding her surgery. She will be having a lumpectomy. Doctor gave her a choice. The worrysome thing is that the cancer has spread to the lymph nodes next to the aorta. I didn't even know that there were lymph nodes there. What that means is that she will have to have chemo. She seemed to be relieved that she would still have her breast, but I don't think she realizes that the doctor was very concerned about the cancer in her chest and he basically said it would not matter if they did a mastectomy or a lumpectomy because she would have to have radiation and chemo anyway. Unfortunately, it is an aggressive cancer. The positive thing is that the radiation treatments combined with the chemo should get it all. I am so concerned for her. Thank God, some of her family came up to stay with her and give her support. My aunt is going to stay with her for a while. Now we have to wait for the surgery coordinator to call us with a date. More waiting...Please keep her in prayer.

I am so overwhelmed right now. The sad thing is that the last thing I needed today were sd issues. We are supposed to be watching our money because things are extremely tight. So sd gets her dad to take her shopping at the mall to buy her new clothes because she had a half day at school. I just bought her jeans and shirts two months ago. Of course they are no where to be found, but she did take a full garbage bag of clothes she "can't wear" anymore to her mom's. Funny thing is, she onlywears one pair of the jeans I bought her (almost daily) and I only saw her wear the other three pairs of those jeans maybe once or twice. I wish her dad would not give in to her everythime she gets tired of her things and wants new stuff. Or maybe she could do some chores to earn some money and buy somethings for herself. I feel like all of the money I had saved is being drained dry to cater to sd's whims. It makes me very frustrated. If she actually has a real need for something that is one thing, but to just get daddy to take her on a shopping spree just because she feels like getting somehthing new is a whole other issue.

Tired and frustrated

Comments

sweetthing's picture

for your mom. I hope that everything goes well & she is on the road to recovery soon. It is a very scary thing breast cancer. My paternal grandmother survived it twice 40 years apart & lived to be 93.

Lymph nodes are funny thinngs, I didn't realize that we have them anywhere other than in our necks before. They are in our chest & abdomen area even at the base of our skulls. My DH has enlarged nodes in between the aoerta & vena cava that we are waiting to see if they have gotten smaller or larger so they deciede to biopsy or not to r/o hodgekins.

It sounds like you have a wonderful family to rally around your mom to help her through this. DFon't let sd get you down. Explain once again to dh that he needs to put her on a leash and to not add to your load during this time. You need to focas your energies on your mom and your needs.

Keeping you in my thoughts & prayers!

proud mom's picture

and your family. My best friend is a 10 yr brest cancer survior and let me tell you she is so full of spunk now it is unbelivable. Hang in there it will be a long hard fight but with the support of family and frineds she will make it through!!

Live for today,you may not have a tommorow

evilsm's picture

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I hope that all goes well with your mom, I can't imagine going through that while still dealing with SD crap. It was ironic when I read your post, my dh is at the mall as we speak with sd doing the same thing. I just bought shorts, shirts etc. less than a month ago. I have seen one outfit on her and that's it. She likes the more expensive items that Dh will fork out the $$ for. Not me, I don't spend that kind of $$ on things for myself, and I keep them for years. Pisses me off. Let me know if you are able to get over your frustration, I could use the lesson.

~Evil

Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
Confucius

Georgie Girl's picture

I so appreciate your kind words and prayers. Thankfully, my mom's attitude is pretty positive about the whole thing and her brothers and sisters are really rallying behind her. We will all be there for her every step of the way.

On my side note, I have not talked to my husband about this spending thing. It is frustrating because I do not know how to approach it without him getting defensive. It is not because it is her, which is what he seems to think. I need to come to some kind of common ground with him on this because it is just not okay. If I were doing the same thing with my bd, I would expect him to say something. It also sucks because then my daughter thinks she is being left out and sd is getting special treatment and I am not going to go deeper in debt to try to "fix" things in her mind. Another problem is, he does not see how extremely demanding sd can be. I am afraid we could have $3.00 left in the bank and she would be expecting him to spend $3.50 on her. ugh. Any suggestions here are welcome.