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Upset about Child Support

FrustratedAng's picture

I am so upset about child support today. DH pays about $1200 a month for his 2 kids. WAY too much!!! It was adjusted this past January and it makes me so mad. No one needs that amount of money for 2 kids. BM works full time and makes a good living and she gets CS. Its bad enough to pay that kind of money for his kids but then I also have to put up with them every other weekend? It should be one or the other. Every time I think about what we could do with that money it makes me mad. My husband and I both want me to be a housewife and eventually a stay at home mom, but we can't afford for me not to work because CS is so high. Whenever I have a bad day at work, I blame his kids for existing. Whenever I look at our bank account, I blame his kids for existing. Whenever I see DH paycheck stub, I blame his kids for existing.


herewegoagain's picture

Although your complain is completely "politically incorrect", I get it and I understand. I have no idea why it takes divorced BMs so much money to raise a kid. I also will never understand if the intent of CS is to have the kids live as if their parents were still together, why they only benefit from increases yet can never suffer because of a decrease. I also don't understand how usually one parent, the BM, gets to decide what extra curricular activities they join vs. in an intact household that BOTH parents decide. I will never understand why if the intent is for the kids to live the life as if their parents were still married, if the father has a crappy job before they divorced, yet you as a SMOM sacrificed your time & income for him to have a better job, why THEY benefit as their mother would have never done the same and never did do the same. I will never understand why if the father has other kids, he can't spend LESS money on his first kids, yet when a CP has more kids, she is more than welcome to spend less money on her first kids and nobody seems to care. I will never understand how a CP BM can decide to stay at home instead of working and not have to financially support her kids, yet an NCP father can never do the same.

Now, it's technically not the kid's fault, yet at the same time, when the kids come over and ask and ask and sometimes even DEMAND more, it's still not their fault. If our own bio asked and demanded more, and we didn't tell them "hey little twit, you can't have everything you want...we don't have the money, this costs x & y" everyone would say we were spoiling our kids. Yet kids of divorce can never be told that because that's NOT THEIR problem.

I wish I could tell you that it gets better. Sadly, I supported my DH and his pathetic kid for quite a while and once I sacrificed for him to have a better job, only the witch and the loser kid benefited him and I could never really stop working. When I did to take care of our special needs child, we basically almost starved. So I have to continue to working, even with my special needs child, while BM does whatever the heck she wants with the money. Heck, right now we are 99% sure that the loser kid doesn't even live with her mom, we are 100% sure she doesn't attend school, yet we have to continue to pay. We are 100% sure that BM doesn't support HER own kid financially in the other home she has let her live in, yet the courts do NOTHING about that. And not only that, but my DH is the ahole because he is sick of supporting a kid who is as lazy and crazy as her mother...yet mom can do the same and nobody cares.

All I can say is that if you have no kids together, you should think about this kind of life. If you only have a couple of years to go, that's one thing...if you have 10+ years, know that it will be this way for a long time and it's the most stressful freaking life I have ever lived. My special needs child and his needs are nothing in comparison to the stress the crazy ex and loser kid have caused us.

A big hug and I am so sorry. These men should have a freaking warning on their foreheads "stay the heck away!"

dragonfly5's picture

We have the skids 45-50% of the time and my SO pays $1200 a month also, and all medical.
Crazo makes the same amount of money as my SO.

It just is. And you are right it sucks. I try not to think about it because we can't change it. I am just happy it will end when they are 18.

I feel your pain.

the_stepmonster's picture

I hate the whole CS system. I wish CS came on a debit card that could only be used on certain items similar to food stamps. Unfortunately all I can see that it goes toward is BM's nail and hair appts. BM has a decent job but thinks in BM math that DH should be paying $1000 per kid. So even though he pays her $1600/month tax-free she still harasses him to no end that its not enough. Dear BM, maybe if you put SD5 in day care or (shocker!) pre-k rather than spending $2000/month on a nanny, you wouldn't need more money! How is it my husband's fault that BM is terrible at managing her own finances?

As if that's not bad enough, BM tells the SD's that their father has all this money so they come over demanding to be treated like princesses and ask for everything in sight. No, SD's. Because of your greedy BM, DH doesn't have any money. The reason we can afford to live where we live and have what we have is because your SM (who you hate apparently) works 12 hours a day at a job she hates. You're welcome.

Auteur's picture

IN my case GG stupidly had THREE kids with the BEhemoth. He makes 38K a year in NYS and pays almost $1000 a month. Which leaves him with take home pay equivalent to a paper boy's or walmart worker.

I work with the CS dept here as an IT tech. This is exactly from the horses' mouth. The Behemoth makes about $42K as a CPS worker:

"I (CS worker) take the NCP gross income, subtract Fica and medicare, which is calculated by multiplying the gross income by .0565, and then multiply the remaining income by 29% (three kids; way to go, GG! :sick: )

So based on $38K gross income-Fica and medicare would be $2,147.00.
The adjusted gross income would be $35,853.00 X 29% then divide by 52 weeks.

$199.94 a week is the BASE amount (not including addons like daycare, skydiving lessons, college, orthodonture, etc) that an NCP biodad having 3 kids with a $38K salary would pay in CS (no matter if it's 50/50; they don't recognize that here in NYS) And of course it goes to 21 not 18 here in NYS. (and sometimes beyond 21)

Of course NYS has the highest taxes in all of the 50 states, so there's a huge chunk taken out for local and state taxes that this doesn't even cover.

GG takes home $200 a week after all is said and done on a 40 hour work week. Not enough to support himself.

Doubletakex3's picture

The CS system is creating another sector of "the working poor" in our country. And, it's also creating a generation of men that are emasculated by the system because they can't provide for themselves or subsequent family. IMO there are numerous fall-out issues from emasculation affecting society. Of course, no politician in their right mind will touch the issue and "take food out of the mouths of babes." It's all a rackett (as my grandmother would say).