DH dropped a bombshell last night!
DH and I were talking last night about his plans with SS10 and SD16 for next weekend, Then BAM! - DH told me that once SD turns 18 (1 year and 1 month from now) he would like to fight for custody of SS. He said that he is scared that SS will turn out like SD if he stays living with BM. He said that he doesn’t like the person SD is and is embarrassed of her. He admitted that he is partly to blame for how SD turned out and that’s why he gets so defensive when we talk about her, it makes him sad to know that he helped her become what she is today. He also said that because she’ll be 17 next month that he feels he can’t do anything to help her until she realizes how she is and wants to change. I have fully disengaged from SD since earlier this summer, we don’t say a word to each other. The girl is a lying, manipulative, mean bully, she steals, she lies, and then she cries hysterically when she is caught and punished.
SS has always been a little different/weird. He’s very immature. He has no school friends, only family friends and they are all quite a bit younger. He’s not the sharpest tool in the shed, but he’s not dumb either. He now shares a bedroom with his grandmother at BM’s house and he is super excited about it. All he talks about is sharing a room with her. I can imagine this isn’t helping him make friends at school either.
I’d rather SS didn’t live with us just for selfish reasons but I agree with DH that it would probably be a better situation for SS, so I won’t stand in DH’s way if he pursues this. We’ve never looked into getting custody before and I’m wondering would it really be a battle or does the judge just allow what the child wants since he’d be 12 at that point? Also, just to point out BM isn’t a terrible mom or anything she just isn't the nicest most reliable person; DH just thinks that SS would do better in our home rather than hers.