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BM thought her and DH were "Cool"

majka's picture

So this all happened last night, it is very long I know, I apologize, just a lot to get off my chest.

BM calls around 10 pm. She opens up with “DH, YOU ARE SUCH A JERK” (I hear all this due to the volume of my DH’s phone). He is like what are you talking about… what comes next is an annoying, immature conversation.

The back situation, my DH and I had my step children (SS4 and SD5) from June of last year (2010), until Sunday January 23rd, 2010, when they returned to their mother. Why so long you ask? Well the BM lives 6 states away, and decided that she needed a break. My DH and his exwife have no court order (DH wants to be cordial, no court order needed in his eyes) no custody paperwork, no travel plans, they just plan and pay as it goes, (worst idea ever in my book, but I am sick of talking to him about it, and being told that I am wrong, to stay out of it, and “you don’t know because you haven’t been divorced, and aren’t a parent.” I am now just waiting for it to bite him in the a**). So the kids have been with us solid for MONTHS. BM never visited, hardly ever called her kids… shame of a parent.

Well anyway, what happened was she was upset over the clothing situation. When the Skids came with us in June, she sent a bag of clothing, mostly smaller things that they would outgrow soon. Almost all of it was stained, or just plain UGLY, so I hid them all away and we got them new clothes with our own money. The whole 8 months they were with us, BM did not pay a cent. No child support or money for childcare (which costs us $1200 a month!) no money for clothing, not a red cent towards anything! Not even any birthday presents (again, DH didn’t want to rock the boat, and upset her asking for money). Not only did she not pay anything, but there were some bills of hers that we HAD to pay!! These reached into the thousands (don’t ask, I am still VERY upset about the whole situation).

Anyway, when my skids swapped houses, we sent back the bag of clothes, with some of what she had sent, along with any other clothes that we had that were borderline small, or were just ugly that we didn’t want to keep. Well she apparently threw a FIT about this. She tells my husband that she wanted the GOOD clothes that we had spent our hard earned money to purchase for them the time that they were here! She thought that we were going to send their ENTIRE wardrobe to her!! Their fight lasted for an HOUR! This b*tch had the audacity to insist that we are to send her ALL of their good clothes… girl; you have lost your mind. There is no way that we are sending their entire wardrobe to your a**. For many reasons, but here are a few.

#1 They are coming back to us mid april… if we sent all of the clothes……. What will they wear when they get here?
#2 Our money=our clothes. There is no way we are sending essentially money to her to ruin, wreck, or “lose” how dumb do you think we are???
#3 You had MONTHS to save up enough money to buy new clothes. Literally MONTHS. If you did not plan accordingly and squandered all of your income (which is A LOT) then this is your own problem.
#4 You are their MOTHER. It is your responsibility to clothe YOUR CHILDREN.
#5 We did not ask you for a cent while they were here, you selfish little child, it is not our problem you do not like the clothes that we gave to you.

The kicker of the whole thing is that she told my DH that she thought they were “Cool like that” that my DH would send all of their expensive, nice clothing to her, and she was “hurt” because apparently they weren’t “cool” anymore. This was what she was REALLY upset about!!

She then told my DH that if he wanted to “play this game” then she could “play” as well. Her move? To not set up a skype account so my DH could send video messages and skype with his kids. What a horrible person, and this upset my DH greatly!

After many words were exchanged, they ended the conversation, she called the next day to apologize, and tell him that she set up the account, but STILL. How dare she think that after we didn’t insist she pay anything, and completely provided for her children, that she could throw a fit over what we did, or didn’t send!! I am sorry the clothes might not be as FASHIONABLE as you may like, but they did fit, so get over yourself BM!!

It just makes me amazed the entitled behavior of this “woman”!!!!


skylarksms's picture

I'm sorry to say this but issues are going to continue to crop up because of the lack of court papers in this matter.

They broke up because they couldn't work their problems out. Why would it be different now?

somerg's picture

it's going to continue because there is no court order, he could keep them from going home, she can keep them from visitation and no one can say a word about it.

if you are married, i'd strongly advise you to convince dh to have her served with an immediate hearing, although this will probably mean CHILD SUPPORT but it needs to be paid anyway. until there is a court document there is NO WAY i'd spend a DIME on my skids (but i only spend on them for recreation..not necessities, that's what child support pays for)

and they really need a stable schedule not go see daddy because mom's tired of sad?!