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Is it Possible?

Forthelifeoftheparty's picture

Any steppers out there who have managed to rarely, maybe once every six months or so, see their skids? Or who may see them every month, but for no longer than a couple of hours? 

I’m a mess of anxiety tonight because I have to be around SD13 for the third weekend in a row this weekend. I feel so uncomfortable around her. I am considering being “away” til she leaves. I also wonder if I should just ignore my anxiety and do what i always do when she is here...Just be myself. Normally her visits are EOW and I have acclimated quite well to the rhythm of that visit schedule. 

My DH’s oldest son and him visit weekly, but I never see SS18. It is wonderful. I will try to not be close enough to speak to SS18 for the rest of my life. Christmases, special events, funerals. There will be no need for me to interact with him during any of these times. So I will simply stay happily away.

What is really getting to me is that i feel like i can ot be myself around her. Three weekends in a row of not feeling like you can “be yourself” in your own home, well, it sucks!!! 


SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

Why the hell is she in YOUR home so much?! Send her to her mother!

Disengage. No DuH = no skids.

bananaseedo's picture

Why 3 weekends in a row?  I remember that feeling oh so well.  It didn't change until she moved in with MIL and the visits on weekends stopped.  After that it was occasional visits for holidays, or during the week or weekend day for dinner or something but relatively short.  Try to find things to do is all I can suggest.

Forthelifeoftheparty's picture

There is always lots to do with a baby in the house. I should be able to manage. Lol

hereiam's picture

I also wonder if I should just ignore my anxiety and do what i always do when she is here...Just be myself. 

This^^^ for sure, do not let her run you out of your home. Let her know who is the Mistress (Queen) of the house.

When my SD hit the teenage years, she canceled her visitation weekends willy-nilly, so I got a lot of breaks! Admittedly, my SD was not that bad, she was well behaved most of the time, but it was still an intrusion, of sorts.

She stopped coming over for several months when she was 15, and for good when she was 16. 

Be yourself, no matter what. Why do you feel that you cannot be yourself when she is there? It is YOUR home, be yourself and do what you would normally do.

Forthelifeoftheparty's picture

I imagine the same will happen with SD13. Eventually, she just won’t be around much. 

I feel like I cannot be myself because of past instances of her spying and lying. Even tho she is a child, I feel she is coached to have ulterior motives.

Even the happy times give me hesitation as I wonder if my kindness and enjoyment of her visit is confurming to her how easy it is to take advantage of others... or confirming that she has to put on an act to be loved.