DH handled it this time
OSD27 texted our DD17 and asked her if she think we will let her come to her graduation in December. DD usually come to me only but this time asked us both and we said NO at the same time. First, SD lives with MIL 600+ miles away and we all know MIL turns the blind eye and deaf ear to OSD's antics, especially when it comes to our kids. Second, OSD didn't even invite our OBS20 who they've been trying to "build a relationship" while she has practically targeted and excluded DD until she wants to use her. I did block SD from DD's phone and told her if she unblock her she will be giving me the phone as she does pay her bill to us but is on our account, until she graduate HS or move out.
DH texted SD.
DH: Do NOT ever call or text MY daughter again. You have never really loved her clearly and all you do is get her hopes up and disappoint and hurt her. And do NOT contact MY son again telling him who DD should be and not be hanging around. WE are her parents and we make decisions over her life until she is an adult. You don't get to pick and choose who in my immediate family you want to like or deal with, you're grown now not a little girl and we're a package deal period.
SD: OMG you are such a deadbeat and hypocrite. I'm your immediate family too but I guess you forgot that. You claim my mom kept me away from you and now you're doing the same with my own siblings. I just want a relationship with all my siblings no matter who their mom or dad is. Don't ever call me again DH's name.
DH: You are my immediate family, I agree but you chose to cut me out and instead of building a good relationship with us you chose to pick who you thought you could turn against me and 'focused...' I never wanted to ruin your relationship with you and your mom so I stayed silent but she fuc*** up your psych and made you delusional. Yes I left her because she cheated on me and and tried to use you as leverage to hurt me. I never did anything to hurt you or her and I'm never going to stand by and let you hurt your siblings or any of us for that matter. Why would you think we will let DD's (name) come there with your family all alone with no support and relive the last interaction she had with you without us there? You hate me that much that you would stoop that low? Come correct or don't come at all.
SD: You're #blocked.
I was proud of DH but I hate this has come to this. DD was so excited coming to tell us she was invited, thinking SD is trying but we realized we have a lot of work to do with her, even though she says "she's done" there is hope there that she thinks SD will change. We kept SD's dysfunction from her, all of them for that matter thinking it was the right thing to do, but have also sheltered them from dysfunction at the same time. I feel like this is going to now end though, well I hope it will at this point.